The Way it all Began
by forme
Summary: The whole first book, from Dmitri's POV. Shares main storyline and a few main scenes, but also fills in the gaps where Rose isn't with Dmitiri - what he has to do that first year, what he has to go through and how his feelings develop. May be a few very minor changes from the book, but nothing that changes the plot. Lets explore who Dmitri's character is, both by himself and with R
1. Chapter 1

I watched them from the shadows I was hiding in. The Intel the school had provided us with said they'd been here at least 3 weeks, maybe more. But it was obvious it was more than that. They were too relaxed and comfortable in their environment and had girls clothes scattered over the furniture in a way that only happens when someone is very familiar with the area. The purple bra in particular that was laying across the back of the couch was a give away. I couldn't see the whole room through this window, just part of the kitchen/eating area and part of the living room/couch area. A guy sat slumped down comfortably on the couch a foot or so away from the undergarment, typing away on his laptop with a beer sitting half full on the coffee table his feet were propped up on. He had a look of only moderate concentration, and the lights flashing over his skin showed me that the tv was also running.

The two girls I'd been sent with my team to retrieve were sitting at the bar counter that separated the tiny kitchen from the living room. One was the girl I was officially assigned to – Vasalissa Dragomir. Tall, blonde, beautiful. She sat on the bar stool relaxed but lady like. She wore tights under a demure, fitted skirt that stopped above her knees and a thin sweater that looked like cashmere or angora, or something else equally soft and expensive. Grey colors on the bottom, light lavender on the top. She clasped her knees together modestly and even though her face and hand movements as she talked were animated, she kept that casual and lady like poise.

I was pleased to see that. Here in the human world for the last 2 years she'd been a nobody. But in a day or so when we brought her back she'd be a princess again. It was good that she seemed to have kept whatever good etiquette she'd had before leaving. She'd have plenty to catch up on as it was. I studied her for several more minutes, committing the sight of her to memory. I was her Guardian, even though she didn't know it yet. I had to be able to recognize her instantly by both mannerisms and looks, no matter the clothes, situation or obstacles in my view.

So I studied the wide, happy, relaxed smile that nonetheless kept her fangs covered. I studied the way she sat, the way she held her shoulders, the flutterings of her hands as she spoke to her companion and the way she flipped her long hair over her shoulder without the use of her hands when it had slowly worked its way over her shoulder and into part of her face. I watched the delicate hand cover her mouth so casually when she laughed openly at something – no doubt an old habit to help conceal the extra long pointy teeth.

After 2 solid minutes I felt I had a good amount of data stored in my memory, and my gaze switched over to her companion, who was apparently having a staring competition with a cat. This girl matched the description of the other person we'd set out to retrieve, a Rosemarie Hathaway, a name I was familiar with. Her mother was a well-respected Guardian and I'd had the opportunity to see her and speak to her on a couple occasions in the last few years. Nothing extensive, and I'd had a small role to play in a mission she'd been in command of, and overall, I like Genene very much from a professional point of view. She was polite, smart and well skilled in social cues along with all the very physical aspects of this job. I had wondered before we came about this young girl who was her daughter. Would she be very much like her mother?

But now as I studied her, I realized that she looked very different from the Freshman picture they'd shown me in her file. She was older now, not a young girl at all, but a young woman. The face in the picture had been an angry, grumpy young girl with messy short hair and bangs. The young woman straddling the bar stool beside Vasalissa was certainly no young girl. Not only did she have the curves of a full grown woman, but her face was very different now as well –the cheekbones strong and prominent, as were her nose and lips – the baby fat all kids and young teens had now melted away. She wore makeup now too, and obviously took more care with her hair at this point in her life, and the bangs were gone, grown out or whatever. The rest of it had been grown out too and fell in lively waves down her back and framed her face.

_'Very pretty,'_ I van remarked to me, inside my head. I resisted the urge to nod my head at him, then ignored him and continued my observations. 'For duty, of course,' I van added dryly. _'Not because she's attractive'._

_'No,_' I responded unnecessarily._ 'I'm being thorough'. Ivan seemed unconvinced._

She was dressed very differently than Vasalissa was, and definitely not in the school uniform her picture showed her in. She had on cotton looking shorts and a semi-loose tank top, obviously her pajamas for the night. It struck me as she pushed it unceremoniously over her shoulder what an extreme picture in contrast the two girls made. Vasalissa thin, delicate and with silvery blonde hair as delicate looking as her. Rosemarie with plenty of curves and a possessive way of occupying as much space as she sat as she possibly could, her hair so dark it was almost black.

I could see from here that there wasn't a whole of Genene in her appearance and I wasn't seeing a whole lot of Genene in her countenance either. Genene sat and interacted with people much more in the manner that Vasalissa was. It wasn't uncommon for Dhampires not to know their fathers, and no one seemed to even have a guess who Rosemarie's father was, but it looked like his genetic contribution had been the most influential.

I wondered though. I'd been told many stories about the exploits of these two girls at the school over the years, designed to prepare me for what I should expect since I was the only one on this trip with no prior experience with either of them. The stories were told with tones of annoyance and frustration beneath the Guardian calm, but the actual events, the actual words – it sounded to me like Rosemarie would have to be exceptionally smart and resourceful to pull any of it off. Maybe those skills hadn't been put to any positive use in her life so far, but they were things that you were either born with or weren't and they couldn't be learned at a high level if you didn't already possess them. Genene had them in spades, and the stories made it sound as if her daughter did too.

I'd also studied the girls' school records before leaving, wanting all the information on both that I could collect. Vasalissa had always had perfect grades, and near perfect attendance except for a few days where Rosemarie had identical absences. Almost no disciplinary marks on her record. Rosemarie, well, from her grades she clearly wasn't a math or geography whiz, but everything to do with the physical side of being a Guardian she'd excelled at. And there were a couple dozen pages needed in her file to document the unheard of amount of disciplinary marks _she_ had. It was obvious she either had a problem with impulse control, or authority figures, and most likely both.

My eyebrows had gone up at a few of the descriptions – things like calling teachers fascist bastards at age 5 and breaking a female classmates arm at age 9. Her behavior in her pre-teen and freshmen years had lacked the oddity of those two reports, and mostly involved sneaking out of anywhere and everywhere she was supposed to be and breaking into anywhere and everywhere she shouldn't have been – usually with alcohol, Vasalissa, boys or some combination thereof. Those actions were fairly run of the mill as far as teenagers were concerned and only stuck out because of the sheer number of them.

But the second to last note in the file had been the night before their escape. Damage to a students room and school property. With a baseball bat. A lot of damage. It had stuck out to me as I read it, in a way nothing else had, except for maybe the first boy incident where she'd apparently bullied one of her male classmates at age 7 into kissing her 'to see what was so good about it'. But apart from this one incident the day before they left, any damage to physical property seemed to be an accidental byproduct. There had been on account of a railing on the fourth floor of one of the stairways being almost ripped completely out of its moorings for insistence, and the note had stated she and another student named Mason had thought they could make a homemade cord and bungee jump down those 4 stories. They hadn't known the combined weight of their jumping at the same time and falling 4 stories would be more than the railing could handle. The resulting broken ribs they'd both had from this incident weren't from fighting, but from the homemade harnesses jerking them to a halt before they hit the ground, which was prior to the railing being ripped out. I'd found myself secretly amused by that one, although the author of the note was clearly livid, and sincerely glad I hadn't been there that day to sort that one out.

But the baseball bat incident…not even close to the same league. Her given reason stated anger at the students treatment of a feeder – which admittedly had been appalling. I'd made a mental note of the name of the Moroi as one to keep an eye on while I was here. Someone willing to do that, even to a human, had dangerous, psychopathic intentions. I'd taken a few minutes to look up the incident in his file and speak to Alberta – the head of the Guardians at the school – about him, and knew several other people shared my opinion of him.

But, as angry as reading the more detailed incident report had made me, the urge never crossed my mind to destroy his room with a bat. I could understand wanting to hit _him_ with a bat, although perhaps not actually doing it, or destroying his room without him in it… but it felt very odd to read that he had simply been standing there while she did it. I knew students and I knew human nature. The whole story never made it into the documentation, so I had no doubt there were a few pieces missing. But here, I had no solid guess what those missing pieces were. And I had a feeling, watching Rosemarie through this window, that having her back at the academy would result in a lot more missing pieces. Again, it made me wonder about the other half of her heritage.

But tonight was about gathering new information for tomorrow. Studying the nighttime habits – the girls were obviously on a human schedule – studying the house, all possible exits, transport options, roads, fences, driveways, habits of the neighbors (just in case there was resistance that resulted in taking the girls down outside the house). We had gotten the blueprints to the house from the county records office and all of us had memorized the layout of the house earlier today. Now, we hid and watched. So that's what I did.

I watched the orange cat loose the staring contest with Rosemarie and arch its back, fur puffing up and hissing at her. I watched Vasalissa laughing and picking it up and cuddling it like a child. The cat instantly settled down in her arms. Rosemarie rolling her eyes at the cat and hopping up onto her bar stool, over the counter and jumping lightly across the gap to the other counter on the other side of the narrow galley kitchen to pull a bag of chips out of the cabinet before reversing the whole process of acrobatics to return to her seat. The cat jumped and ran from Vasalissa when Rosemarie suddenly dropped back onto her stool and both girls laughed uproariously, and then the boy glanced over and the three of them spoke back and forth for several minutes, smiles on their faces. Rosemarie tossed a chip at the boy and hit him on the side of the head where it exploded into crumbs. Vasalissa hid her teeth with her hand again as she gave one of her wide mouthed laughs.

A little while later the boy closed his laptop, turned the volume up on the tv and layed down on the couch finishing his beer. The girls were watching whatever was playing from their stools for a minute, and suddenly Rosemarie laughed and looked over at Vasalissa and said something. Vasalissa smiled but didn't say anything. Rosemarie laughed again and then scooted her stool closer and draped an arm around her friend, who leaned down slightly to lightly rest her head on Rosemarie's shoulder. Rosemarie squeezed her shoulder lightly and after a few minutes the two sat up straight and separated at the same time.

It felt oddly rehearsed – that synchronized timing – but after 2 years of only having the other to rely on and trust, maybe it wasn't so strange. My heart twisted sharply as I realized they behaved very much like Ivan and I had, that familiar comfort with each other and their friendship. It had been 9 long months now, but the ache was still just as strong. I'd never had anyone who wasn't family that I'd felt that close to, and I doubted I would again. I missed Ivan but I was realizing as time passed that I had a separate, second ache in me for that feeling of peace and relaxation that came from having another person you trusted so completely. The revelation had come pretty recently and it made the hurt feel worse as time went on – not better.

I watched now as the girls seemed to decide it was time for bed. Rosemarie crumpled the now empty chip bag and tossed it over the bar counter. It must have landed in the trash can because her throwing hand did a victory pump, although neither of the other two were looking, so a self-congratulatory victory pump, and the two girls headed into separate bedrooms while the boy stayed on the couch.

I'd assumed at first that the boy was being used as a feeder for Vasalissa, or possibly physical fun for Rosemarie, but I'd ruled the first one out when he'd laid down and I'd gotten a good view of both sides of his neck and saw no marks. Now I ruled out the second one because although both told him goodnight, there was nothing lingering or emotional in it. They barely glanced at him.

I frowned to myself as I moved to my secondary position on the other side of the house, behind a tall tree. When we'd scouted earlier we'd found this spot gave me a clear view into both girls bedroom windows. I was thinking about it while I walked – where was Vasalissa's blood supply coming from? We'd all assumed when we found them that there would be a human feeder. And when we had found them, and there was a roommate, it seemed to support this conclusion. But the visual evidence was not matching up, and now I was realizing that this was the first missing puzzle piece of our night, and it felt like an important one.

My vantage point let me see into both bedrooms and again I saw the obvious difference between the two girls. Vasalissa's room had filmy white curtains over the blinds, but she pulled the blinds up and opened the window as she got in. Rosemaries' room had the blinds pulled up but at a weird slant that suggested she hadn't wanted to bother to fix them. Odds and ends of pointy and breakable looking knickknacks perched on her window sill. At first glance I'd known them for exactly what they were – intrusion alert. Anyone trying to mess with the window would knock them off and the sound would alert her. There should have been a similar arrangement on Vasalissa's window sill. Sloppy – but she got points for thinking of it at all.

In her room, Rosemarie stretched (and against my full intentions I found myself admiring the shapes of her body, the curve of her spine as she did so) and stepped into the connecting bathroom that she presumably shared with Vasalissa. A few minutes later she emerged and shook her hair out with her fingers before pulling the covers back – her bed, the whole room actually, was a mess and everything was scattered everywhere – then flipped off the light and hopped into bed. Our eyes were good in the dark and a city block is never truly dark, so I could see her still, and watched her fluff her pillows and then elbow them into the shape she wanted before sprawling out and occupying most of the beds available space. Soon she was out.

Vasalissa on the other hand had more to her bedtime routine. She'd gotten out of that shared bathroom first, wearing a set of flannel pj's with short sleeves and Capri pants. She sat at a desk in her room and carefully brushed all her hair out to perfection, watching her progress in a small mirror. The strokes were smooth and sure and she went over all of it several times. She then smoothed some sort of lotion into her face, hands, legs and arms. She removed a thin chain necklace and stud earrings and put them carefully in a small, plain jewelry box. Then going to her closet, which was neat but overfilled, she selected an outfit for the next day and laid it out over the back of the chair she'd just been sitting at. She double checked that everything was where it should be then picked up the mirror and examined all her teeth carefully. Finally, she put the mirror down and neatly folded down the covers of her bed that clearly got made this morning. She turned off the light and tucked herself in. Where Rosemarie had sprawled occupied all possible space, Vasalissa set a pillow behind her and lay on her side with her back to it and snuggled up against it. It made me wonder who the pillow was supposed to be. Maybe nobody. Maybe it was like a child's security blanket and meant to form a shield between her and the rest of the world while she was in a vulnerable state. Or maybe she missed someone. The file had mentioned a boyfriend before she left St. Vladimirs.

I noted the time on my watch as each girl laid down and quietly reported in through my earpiece to our crew in the SUV so they could make a note. We had started surveillance early in the morning (human time) and taken shifts, reporting back the time any activity happened in or near this house. Tomorrow, after a full 24 hours study, we'd look at the notes and decide on the best time to move in. It hadn't been officially decided, but most likely after bed time tomorrow would be our go.

A few hours had passed and my shift would end in another 2 before anything more happened. Through the earpiece I knew the boy had fallen asleep on the couch and none of the neighbors worked late and were all asleep too. Ideal situation for the most part. Hopefully tomorrow the boy would make it to his bedroom. No one had seen anything in a little over an hour, but none of us were talking or moving. I heard only a few birds and crickets and a couple passing cars. It was nearly 4 am when suddenly a movement in Rosemaries room caught my full attention.

I noted it in my earpiece as I watched her thrash around in her sleep and fight off her covers in a sudden panic. A bad dream I assumed and was about to call all clear when suddenly she sat straight up, eyes wide, looking straight at me. I hadn't moved in over an hour but I fought the urge to be even stiller. There was no way she could see me through this tree. But even without reading her lips I heard the faintest noise from her. A name, said in a sudden panic. Lissa!"

My gaze instantly switched to the other bedroom and I noticed Vasalissa was also having a bad dream. While she wasn't fighting her covers to the death she _was_ shaking and seemed to be crying in her sleep. My gaze went back to Rosemarie but she was already almost out of her bedroom door. As she ran, Vasalissa sat up to screaming and covering her face with both hands. Rosemarie then burst into her room and all but took a flying leap onto her bed, grabbing her and holding her close, talking to her while she cried and saying something back.

I was relaying a quick synopsis into my earpiece, knowing the scream had all of us on high alert now. I gave the word to stay and not move in and watched as Rosemarie cradled Vasalissa to her chest and rocked her like a child while her friend cried herself calm. It was an extremely tender and heartfelt moment and seeing their expressions I felt a sense of pride. It was clear that they were more than good friends. Vasalissa trusted Genene's daughter completely and fully relied on her – and Rosemarie apparently deserved it and took it seriously. _This is what Guardians are meant to be like with their Moroi_, I thought, remembering my own connection with Ivan. We had been close, but had relied on each other in mutual, equal amounts for different things. Not all Guardian/Moroi pairs were that lucky, like Rosemair and Vasalissa seemed to be, or Ivan and I had been, but most managed a good working relationship. It was generally accepted for bad fitting pairs to be reassigned quietly and without fuss. But this, this was Guarding in its purest form. A bond of love and trust that was complete, with no holding back. And it truly made me happy to see it.

Then something unexpected caught my attention. Rosemarie was moving her hair away from her neck and tilting her head. Closing her eyes. A very intimate motion – or, I suddenly realized with a jolt – a feeder like one! And just as the realization hit my brain like a bucket of ice water, Vasalissa bit. The 2 second headsup I had didn't quite give me time to squelch my startled intake of breath. But it was quiet enough that the earpiece didn't pick it up. I waited in shocked silence while they finished. It made perfect sense. I was surprised the idea hadn't occurred to any of us sooner. It was very taboo of course, but the safest option available to two teenage girls out alone. It was still dangerous, true, because the endorphine rush would leave Rosemarie high and incoherent for a couple hours, and the toll that blood loss would take on her stamina, which was a large part of what had made this sort of thing taboo originally, but surely it was still better to this in this anonymous house with Rosemarie than a young, obviously underage girl going out to find a stranger. Of course, neither solution was anything other than terrible – one of the man reasons to bring them back.

And then, in an instant, I knew we had to move tonight. Vasalissa was intelligent not doubt, but Rosemarie was the dominant one and the one with the guts to try crazy stunts to get away. All this would go smoother if we moved tonight, while Rosemarie still felt the effects of the bite.

I hated the sinking feeling in my gut at the thought. It felt like cheating. And a cheap trick to use on one of our own, even if she wasn't yet a promised Guardian. It just felt low. But this was my job, and in the end, both girls needed the safety the school could provide, not to mention the structure and training for Rosemaire. She needed to finish her training for Vasalissa's sake. They would not be able to run forever. And though she seemed to be maintaining a pretty functional life, this was dangerous. One day, one bite too close to another one, and she would become an addict, leaving Vasalissa with no real protection. I looked at the trinkets in Rosemaries window sill. Hell, Vasalissa barely had protection now. I couldn't doubt that this was the right thing to do – or even that taking this unexpected advantage was the right thing to do – but I still felt dirty somehow.

Ivans voice in my head spoke to me, sounding amused. _'This is what you are reduced to, my friend? Cheap tricks? We both know you are capable without those'_. And for a second, I really, genuinely, hesitated. We had planned to move in about 12 hours. There were half a dozen of us against 2 of them. There was no way this girl could outfight and out-think all of us. I could wait, which would surely end the same anyway, and let the girls keep their secret from the other Guardians. A dangerous secret at that. Not everyone would arrive at the same conclusion that I had. Could I justify waiting? Could I justify going in now?

I came out of my thoughts to focus intently on the two girls, looking for a sign. What was right here? What was the most moral course of action? As I watched Rosemarie smiling in that doped up, hazy, happy smile all bites gave their victims – and here my mind stuttered on that word, victims – the orange cat jumped on the sill and glared at me. He arched his back and hissed, puffing his fur up to twice his size. He had seen me. Without realizing it, I'd walked 2 steps forward in front of my tree I was hiding behind to see if I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing. I was now just barely in front of the trees shadow, but just barely was too much. I cursed myself silently. It was such a rookie mistake and I couldn't believe I'd made it! And Rosemarie was staring at the cat, trying to figure out its problem. And just like that, I saw Genene Hathaway in her daughter. I saw, even in her drugged state, the wheels turning in her mind as she pondered the cat. Then looked past it and out the window. And straight at me.

I locked every muscle in my body in place; it was possible she would skim her eyes right over me. I was in all black, and my skin and hair were dark. I didn't stand out in the shadows the way someone like Vasalissa would. And she was foggy, her scanning of the lawn had been sluggish, and movement was what attracted the pupils. I crossed my fingers mentally, but then – hadn't I just asked for a sign? Now or in 12 hours we'd be ripping these two from the life they'd constructed for themselves.

Rosemarie's gaze sharpened and I knew she saw me for sure. She frowned, then quickly moved into action mode. I saw the change on her facial expression, the set of her lips, the narrowing of her eyes. Genene in dark hair. And in an instant I was sure. She's gotten Genene's will to fight, and her creative thinking, her unstoppable will. This girl would run – and try every trick she could think of. I took two slow steps back into the trees shadows, my eyes locked with hers. _'Go on'_, I thought, my own intensity dial revving up.


	2. Chapter 2

_***Rosemarie's gaze sharpened and I knew she saw me for sure. She frowned, then quickly moved into action mode. I saw the change on her facial expression, the set of her lips, the narrowing of her eyes. Genene in dark hair. And in an instant I was sure. She's gotten Genene's will to fight, and her creative thinking, her unstoppable will. This girl would run – and try every trick she could think of. I took two slow steps back into the trees shadows, my eyes locked with hers. 'Go on', I thought, my own intensity dial revving up. ***_

And Rosemarie leapt to her feet; yelling to Vasalissa and becoming a general blur in the room as she grabbed a duffle from under the bed and began throwing things into it, then shoving her out the door.

"Code Is red, I repeat, code is red. All sides close in. Targets on the run." I stated the command firmly into the earpiece. Our man in the SUV asked for confirmation as per protocol, but he and the rest us knew we were already converging on the house. I gave the confirmation anyway. The two girls had woken the boy and now had his car keys. Again, this piece fitted in oddly with the rest. What reason did he have to hand them over? They hadn't forced him. He wore a bemused expression, but looked in no way scared or alarmed. But that would have to be examined in better detail later.

I heard Alvin ask where the car had been parked and for a confirmation on the make and model. Steven replied that the vehicle was 3 blocks down in a private parking lot reserved for this group of houses. They were all too small and the yards too close together to park in most driveways, and the curb was a tow-away zone. That definitely worked in our favor.

Two more of us were going in the back door and clearing/securing the house. I heard them yelling and the surprised boy responding in my earpiece. Alvin and Steven were closing in on the front just as Vasalissa and Rosemarie exited. I heard them shouting too, and the girls yelling to each other, and then I saw them take off. I cut though several nearby yards to avoid going around the corner to the parking lot where the car was parked. The girls had either never plotted this short cut out, or were too frantic and caught off guard to remember it. A rookie mistake for them too – the first thing you did in a new unsecured and unwarded location was plot the quickest way out, in multiple directions. Rosemarie should have known that.

I spotted the car and waited just around the corner of the apartment building across from it. I heard the girl's feet on the sidewalk coming straight towards me. It sounded a little slow, but maybe they hadn't gotten shoes on before leaving the house. I heard a warning in my earpiece then gun shots and then the girls shrieking.

"They're shooting at us!" one of them yelled in disbelief.

"Keep running! We're almost to the car. We can lose them then!" The second one had to be Rosemarie. Alvin and Stevens' footsteps were gaining on them. I listened carefully and when they sounded close enough, I stepped around the corner, ready to close the net around them between the three of us. In my earpiece I heard Stevens telling the other two where we were and the confirmation that the house was secure, with Damien staying to watch the kid and Connors coming to give us back up.

As I stepped out my gaze went immediately to Rosemarie. She was the wild card here, the one to stop. Her eyes widened at the sight of me, and her mouth dropped open, but again, instantly, I saw the wheels turning in her mind as she reviewed he options, not slowing down. She and Vasalissa had a death grip on each other and both were white and sweaty and looked about ready to pass out. I felt the guilt again. These two looked ready to drop where they stood – but no. They were going to attempt to keep going anyway. That was why we had to take them in. This was too pathetic for words for a Guardian and her Moroi who should be graduating in 9 months. I knew the odds of it affecting anything here were slim, but it was time to introduce myself.

"Im Dmitri Bellikov. I'm here to escort you and the Princess Vasalissa Dragomir back to St. Vladimirs Academy. You_ will_ come with me." My resolve had finalized; they were coming in. This was the right call. But it seemed Rosemarie's resolve had finalized to. I saw the decision as the fight or flight moment turned into fight. She hauled Vasalissa behind her as though I would hurt her and faced me.

"Stay away from her!" she screamed, and as I took a step forward, attempted a poorly executed takedown. Not only rusty, although still very recognizable which in itself was impressive with a 2 year absence, but exhausted and not set up with anything in front to distract. I parried her away easily – a little too easily in fact. I was shocked by how light she was. She felt as though she weighed no more than the Princess probably did. Her body was sailing to the curb and she hadn't quite managed to catch her balance in time. She would hit the curb and at that angle probably break a hip. _Not_ my goal. So I reached out an arm and caught her wrist on its way down, pulling her smoothly back up to her feet before she impacted the concrete. The abrupt change in her direction caused her hair to swing to the side and the bite mark was now glaringly obvious, even in this dim street light. As I stared at it, I wondered how much the negative effect of the drug and blood loss was to blame for how pitiful she seemed, and how much was not training these two years. Only time would tell I supposed.

Rosemarie saw me staring at them and her face flooded with emotion – panic and fear as she realized what I saw, not knowing I'd already known, anger for who knows what reason, then a practiced arrogance that was surely her go-to method for facing authority figures of all kinds. She met my eyes full on and tossed her head so her hair covered it again. Her gaze dared me to judge. And oddly enough, I found that last expression the most compelling of all. She had no intention of apologizing for what they'd had to do to survive and wanted me to plainly see she felt no shame or guilt. She was standing by her decision. That attitude I could honestly admire. And it wasn't quite a Genene thing to do – so it felt like a truth particular to her and who she was as a person and as a Guardian.

But this interlude lasted under a second. In fights, or other situations of high adrenaline, our minds often slow things down in our perception. But it can also speed things up, as it did now. The next few seconds felt like less than one. As she attempted to take me down by punches and kicks, I blocked them all and one surprisingly solid deflection accidentally clipped the side of her face. She stumbled from it, Vasalissa grabbing her and steadying her. The fire was still in Rosemarie's eyes and I could see she had no intention of stopping as long as any of her could still move – but I could also see that point wasn't very far away.

I made eye contact with Vasalissa, my expression stern. I wanted her to help me help her friend. Nothing good could come of her continuing in this state. I don't know if she read my message, or if she was coming to the same conclusion on her own, or if the sound of the others catching up finally did it. But as Rosemarie attempted to stand on her own, unsupported, her whole body quaking with exhaustion, Vasalissa grabbed her back in a tight bear hug from behind and held on to her. The fact that a Moroi was succeeding in holding her was the final evidence in just how done her body was, even if her will was not. I spoke quietly in my earpiece, seeing the other start to lunge forward, telling them to back up and wait. She would be hurt if they came in because she looked like she wanted to keep going, but in reality she was so tired that one of these guys restraining her, when our usual students were so hardy and conditioned, was certain to result in unnecessary harm. We'd been sent on a rescue mission. We had no reason to treat them like hardened criminals. So the others stepped back again to about 8 feet, and waited, eyes watching.

Meanwhile Vasalissa was taking to her. "Rose, No! Please! We can't fight anymore!" Rose? Was struggling hard against those arms and protesting, but Vasalissa held grimly on.

"Liss, I won't let them take you back! I promised to keep you safe!" I watched the two struggle with each other, hoping they would wear each other out enough to stop fighting, but then a funny thing happened. Another 15 or 20 seconds passed, but although Vasalissa said nothing more, Rose craned her head slightly towards her as if she was. And slowly her expression changed from desperation to one of quite sudden defeat. She went limp in her friend's arms, almost toppling both of them to the pavement at the sudden change, and she muttered barely loud enough to hear.

"Ok Liss. We'll go back."

My eyes widened for a second, then narrowed as I thought. Vasalissa, Liss? Had communicated with her without using words. This was interesting because there's close and then there's this. Ivan and I had been close and could read a lot in each other's silence and expressions, but Rose had had her back to Vasalissa. And if Vasalissa hadn't spoken to communicate with her and Rose couldn't see her face, how had she done it? And suddenly, I remembered the nightmare and how Rose had jumped out of bed and started running to Vasalissa's room _before_ she had woken and cried out. I had missed the importance of that sequence of events earlier because it had happened so quickly and I'd been preoccupied by my own surprise and thoughts at what happened next. I was off tonight, I thought, on everything. But now the pieces fell abruptly in place. Hadn't I noticed it already though? I'd thought of it as a bond of love and trust. Which there clearly was. But now it hit me that there was also a Bond between these two girls.

Holy shit. Holy shit. How long had it been since the last recorded one? Centuries? And here was one staring me in the face. Holy shit.

But even though I knew with a certainty I was right, I also felt the need for more concrete data. I would wait to say anything for now.

As Rose collapsed into Vasalissa they both had stumbled. The other Guardians lunged in to catch them before I could signal, and now we all escorted them back to our SUVs. I reported in to our guys still waiting for us and we settled the girls in the middle seat with Alvin and Damien sitting on either side to keep them there. I waited outside the driver's side door and scanned while the others found duffle bags and suitcases and started loading up more of the girls things, quickly packing whatever they could easily find – clothes, shampoo, toothbrushes, etc. We'd send one more team back tomorrow to collect the rest.

Steven talked to the boy they'd been rooming with while the rest of the team worked. Interrogating actually. In the earpiece we all heard the kid explain they'd answered an ad about 8 months ago for roommates wanting to sublet. They were fellow students at his college, paid their share of rent in cash and on time, and helped cook and sometimes clean. My mouth twitched when he said that as I thought back to the mess in Roses' room. Clearly that part had referred to Vasalissa. He knew nothing else about them.

Steven informed him the two were runaways from Virginia and out men were charged with locating and returning them to their families and that for his benefit he should forget about ever seeing them since he could be charged federally for aiding and abetting in the kidnapping of two minors. He had the kid shaking and nodding and 'yes sir'ing in no time. I nodded in satisfaction even though Stevens couldn't see it.

"Let's wrap it up and head back," I said in the earpiece and heard 5 confirmations. We were all ready to go home and drop these two off and go to bed. This was the opposite sleep schedule for us and what our bodies were accustomed to. I got back in the SUV and looked in the rearview mirror. Our captives were whispering heatedly to each other. I immediately ordered them separated and Rose gave me a death glare. She was looking less and less every minute like she would pass out and I had no desire to thwart another beak out attempt. Better to keep them away from each other until back on campus. I had her put up front with me, and another one of us sat in back in her old spot next to Vasalissa.

In no time our SUVs were moving and we were off to the schools private jet, and home. I glanced over periodically to check on our hostages. Vasalissa looked small and frightened, more so the longer we drove. Rose looked pissed and like she was still plotting. As we pulled into the airport with the jet I saw Rose twitch a little and go very, very still for a minute. The she suddenly turned around and looked at Vasalissa. Her voice was authoritative and calm, but underneath it trembled just a little. She was secretly unnerved, but determined not to show it.

"It's going to be ok Liss. It won't be like it was before. I promise I'll protect you. It'll be better this time, you'll see." She sounded so desperate for Vasalissa to believe her and glancing back in the rearview mirror I saw that after a minute, she relaxed. There was a bit of silence and intense eye contact, then Rose relaxed a bit too.

I wasn't sure if this backed my suspicion of a Bond or not but it was interesting. I really wanted to know what had happened before that had had both girls so terrified that they believed they needed to run away, and kept them so scared of returning a full 2 years later. It had to be more than just property damage.

When we boarded the jet I ordered Vasalissa to the front with 2 of us and me, and Rose to the back with the other 3.

"Don't let them near each other until we are back on campus," I murmured to them. The others varied between amusement and disbelief.

"What do you think they can do now?" Alvin asked, one of the disbelieving ones. "You can't think they'll escape again."

"They haven't even talked to each other," agreed Damien. "Now you want them separated even more?"

"I don't know if this is separate enough," I said in response, my tone dark. "These two are very resourceful." The others shook their heads, clearly thinking I was going out on a limb here. To their minds, this had been a pretty easy catch. But they hadn't seen everything I'd seen. But they humored me. It was officially my op, plus, they really didn't care much either way. 'Let Bellikov have his delusions,' their faces said. 'It can't hurt'.

But I was sure. I knew I was right about the Bond, and about Roses' spirit. The look of pure venom I'd received at keeping them separate on the plane just confirmed it for me.

About halfway through the flight back I gave in to my curiosity and told Damien to switch seats with me for a while, leaving me sitting right next to Rosemarie Hathaway. The puzzle.

She gave me a look of hate as I sat down and went back to staring out the window again.

"Were you really going to try and fight all of us?" I asked finally, deciding to start with my easiest question first. She shrugged in response. No eye contact. I continued. "That was very brave." Now her face registered shock and I got the eye contact I was looking for. I felt a curious warmth flow through me for a second at the intensity of having her full attention on me. She had dark brown eyes I saw now, with mascara smudged around her lashes and a faint, faint tinge of blue on her eyelids from the makeup she hadn't removed before bed. And wow, the fire in her gaze was phenomenal. I'd rarely come across people with a gaze this fierce, and never in a young person. Still, she said nothing.

"Stupid," I added, lest she get the wrong idea about what I thought of her plan. "But brave." Now she snorted and went back to glaring out the window. I was quiet for a bit, pondering my next question. I wasn't sure I wanted to ask her about the Bond. I supposed to was entirely possible she wouldn't even know it by its name anyway. I studied her profile, her jawline, tensed veins and tendons in her neck, her strong cheekbones. I also didn't want to ask about the bite I decided. So that really only left one thing.

"Why?" I asked finally. This also got a reaction and she looked at me puzzled.

"Why what?" she snapped.

"Why even try that fight? There was no way for you to win – and get away. So why try and run with her at all?" I was leaning forward a bit, eager I discovered, to find out the answer. She now wore a look of disbelief.

"Because I'm her Guardian." She spoke like it was the stupidest question in the world. "It's my job to protect her. And I _do_ my _job_." She turned back to the window again and this time her jaw clenched. I waited a minute to see if there was more, but that was it. Maybe it really was just that simple. For whatever reason, they both clearly believed Vasalissa had been in some sort of trouble at St. Vladimirs, so Rose had found a way to leave, and was clearly pissed at having given in to her friends request to stop fighting and just go back. She in no way thought the previous problem was solved. And she was mentally gearing up for battle, I saw now. Battle to protect Vasalissa, from whatever might come.

Again, I found myself thinking how pure she was in this – the simplest, most fundamental part of being a Guardian – protecting your Moroi come what may, without flinching, no matter how outnumbered you were or if all logic seemed to say it was unnecessary when your heart knew it was. I thought back to Ivan again, and I knew I'd found a kindred spirit in this girl. Someone to whom this wasn't just a job, but a real calling. That we didn't just do a Guardians duty because we agreed to do it; we were called to this, and felt it in our core, in the very center of our being and responded to it. Pure, I thought again. Pure motive. Pure passion for her Moroi, and anything that that duty required. Pure train of thought, with no extra, frivolous extras.

And as I thought all this I felt like a teeny, tiny pebble had been dropped into the abyss left in me by Ivan's death. That feeling of loss at the death of the one person I knew in my heart I respected and trusted completely. A kindred spirit. I'd been so sure I wouldn't run across anymore. I hadn't in the last 24 years. But now, nearly a year after Ivan's death, I felt a faint stirring of hope that maybe; just maybe, there was another one after all.

After a few minutes of neither of us moving or speaking I got up and went back to the other end of the plane. Damien raised his brows at me.

"Got what you wanted?" he asked, curious at my talking to her. I shrugged.

"She didn't say much," I replied and went back to staring out the window myself. Damien shrugged and left me alone. They all did, and talked among themselves instead.


	3. Chapter 3

When we landed – 12 hours ahead of schedule – Stevens ran ahead to alert the Headmistress of our early arrival. It was breakfast time so I wanted to make sure Kurova had a few minutes to prepare herself. There were a few things that would require sorting out now the girls were back and none of them were easy. The others flicked their eyes to me before we exited, waiting my direction. A mere second of thought had me weigh options and decide we'd go straight through the middle of campus. One reason was because it was the shortest route to her office which left less time for unexpected trouble between here and there. Another reason was it would be good for the student body to see the two girls returned and safe, not beaten or pregnant or turned or any of the other speculated rumors that still fluttered through the school after all this time.

Actually, as we walked another reason came to mind; there was a chance that starting to assimilate the girls back into the school right away would slightly lessen Kurova's options on any major consequences she chose to dole out. She was Headmistress and they had some severely poor choices to account for, but Alberta had pulled me aside before we left and told me in hushed tones that anything I could do to make this go smoothly would be appreciated. She felt that Kurova had developed an especially negative opinion of Janine's daughter over the years and might possibly be inclined to overstep her bounds a little bit in regards to punishing her. And Janine was very well known in our world and her opinion very much respected – Alberta felt that if Kurova went too far Janine had the power to influence enough other people's opinions about this school to affect enrollment, which was already down because there were simply less Dhampires being sent for training now (a growing concern across the world, not just our one little school).

So Alberta had asked me to look out for Janine's daughter during this transition back. I'd listened to her, and trusted her judgment, but felt that it was maybe a little unwarranted. Still, it seemed wise to start establishing their return to the student body now.

Before we'd finished crossing the front lawn, Rose was running up and calling to me.

"Dimitri! Wait up!" Dimitri? First name only? I winced. I had a bad feeling about the potential antagonizing for this meeting. It was extremely presumptive and demeaning in our culture to use a first or last name with no title in front of it without being granted permission first. Even ruder if that person was an elder or superior rather than a peer. Rose had caught up to me and jogged at my elbow in order to keep up with my longer strides.

"Now you want to talk?" I responded. It wasn't necessary to goad her about refusing to talk to me on the plane, but I was irritated that she'd gone straight to using my first name. I wasn't going to establish a pattern 2 hours into our meeting where we did things on her terms. She had an unaccountable disregard for authority and I wasn't in the mood to indulge it.

"Are you taking us to Kurova?" She asked me now, ignoring my statement completely. She sounded angry and anxious now. Well. She had to know it wouldn't be a pleasant social call type of visit.

"_Headmistress_ Kurova," I corrected in my sternest voice, hoping she'd get the hint.

"_Headmistress_ Kurova," Rose amended, rolling her eyes. "Whatever. She's still a self-righteous bi-"she stopped suddenly, words, footsteps, breathing, all, before finishing her thought. Good God, this girl sought out trouble. Maybe Alberta had read the Rose/Kurova situation more accurately than I'd given her credit for.

I glanced back at her prepared to take an arm and force her to keep walking if needed. Her face showed absolute disbelief. And again, I saw a touch of that uncertainty, that almost fear.

"We're going through the _dining hall_?" she asked incredulous. It was full to the brim with students, teachers and other Guardians. Loud noises were coming through the closed doors we stood in front of. Laughter, talking, dishes and glasses clanking, the sizzle of more food being brought out. Rose stared at it all with dread and then suddenly looked worried and glanced at the Princess, who was now right behind us with all the other Guardians in tow. I glanced back and saw Vasalissa was ghostly white and looked terrified and overwhelmed. Rose reached out and squeezed her hand tight and held it so, looking unwaveringly at her, offering solidarity and support until Vasalissa nodded at her, then let go. Again I found myself satisfied with what I saw. A real Guardian moment: looking after her friends emotional well-being, patiently, insistently, not just her physical well-being.

I made a quick scan of the other Guardian faces, and they were all standing in a phalanx around the girls like they should have been. I nodded at them and we went in. Walking through all those students, the sight of us all brought the noise level down to almost nothing, but before we'd reached the other side of the hall it was back up to almost double what it had been before. Vasalissa was cringing noticeably and Rose was marching right beside her, shoulders squared, chest out and massive smile glued to her face, her eyes challenging everyone she made contact with to do or say anything she didn't like. I suspected she was just as overwhelmed as Vasalissa, but she would be damned if she showed it. Brazenness was apparently another main component in her personal makeup. The more I observed, the more I wondered what kind of Guardian Rose would make, if this raw, unfocused potential could be brought to heel and properly trained. There was so much potential there, and the Bond – it was mind-blowing to think the sort of Guardian she could be for Vasalissa one day. But right now it was only potential, and very angry potential at that.

I kept a very brisk pace to our destination and once we were all outside the office, I mentally prepared for an ugly battle. I knocked on the door, then put my head in and saw both Kurova and Alberta inside. I made a slight head incline to Alberta, hoping she'd be able to interpret the caution I was trying to convey with no face muscles, and then made eye contact with Kurova.

"We have them Headmistress Kurova. Whenever you want to see them."

Her face was dark with anger, Alberta's smooth, polished stone, designed to be in the background and then I saw Victor Dashkov sitting in a side armchair looking anxious in a happy way. This was slightly unusual because he was Royal and normally at court, not involved in anything at the school. But he'd come last night to visit with his daughter today and had apparently heard the news of our return. Kurova couldn't really tell a Royal no if he want to be here for this – which she clearly resented – but it was odd that he would want t be here. He wasn't related to either girl very closely. A second cousin of some sort to the Princess I thought. So, another unknown in this equation.

Kurova was tart with her reply. "Bring them in then." I bowed to her and stepped back, holding the door wide opened now and telling two of the Guardians to stay outside the door once we went in. The others waited until the girls were inside and I'd nodded my dismissal as I closed the office door before they left. Alton and Stevens stayed one on each side of the door in case they were needed.

I settled against the wall next to Alberta, right behind the two chairs with the runaways in them, and got comfortable. Alberta's micro expression told me we'd be here a while. She stood discreetly behind Rose and I wondered for a second if this was maybe to quiet her with a hand over her mouth if needed. But that was ridiculous, it wouldn't happen. But Alberta was very wary of what was going to happen here and I took my cue from her. She'd worked at St. Vladimir's for 15 years, and known Kurova when they were both kids in school themselves. She knew her, knew this school, and knew Rose and Vasalissa. I respected Alberta a lot and she was clearly proficient in her job as Head of the Guardians but over the last 6 months I'd also seen what an accurate weathervane she made for anything happening around here.

Meanwhile, Victor was hugging Vasalissa and talking to both of them in a very warm and familiar tone. As I listened to him and the Princess talk, I understood his request to be here. Alberta's eyes were on Kurova though and when I glanced that way I was surprised by the growing anger on the woman's face at having to wait to start the discipline for their offense, and possibly angry that her feelings were being upstaged by such obvious delight by the two Moroi's.

It wasn't long before she called everyone's attention back. I was curious to see her plan here to deal with this. There obviously had to be consequences for running away but what exactly? It didn't happen often. In my school in Siberia a large part of the punishment would have been corporal, coupled with the most distasteful menial labor they could find. But Americans as a rule didn't do corporal punishment.

Kurova was delivering a very charged lecture to both of them. Vasalissa looked at her lap, clearly uncomfortable with anyone being angry with her while Rose looked angry and annoyed. When Kurova mentioned the expense of sending a team in to bring them back Rose started putting in her two cents. Then Kurova mentioned me, and Rose exploded.

"Who the hell is he? Cheap foreign labor?" well. Guess she was still angry with me. She'd turned in her seat and was giving me a death glare, but like the ones earlier, I brushed it off.

"He is Princess Vasalissa's official Guardian, Ms. Hathaway. Not you. You're not a Guardian at all." He tone was dismissive, designed to belittle Rose. I felt a little bad for her. What Kurova said was true, but very harsh.

And now she was bearing down on Vasalissa in particular, telling her exactly why she was wrong to leave the Academy. But not placing blame on her, I noticed suddenly. Not one bit of it. I started to frown and then schooled my face to stillness. Rose looked like she was zoned out, clearly adept at this point in her life to letting lectures slide off her like water on a duck. No doubt she'd been through hundreds of these things since being enrolled here in pre-school.

But her attention returned to its full effect once Kurova turned on her a minute later, accusing her of putting a Moroi, and not just any Moroi but the last Dragomir in danger for fun. Even though every adult in the room knew this was true, Rose looked beyond outraged, and personally offended at the idea that anyone could think she'd do that, rather than be angry at being lectured. And as she argued louder and louder with Kurova about whether she'd been wrong or not, I saw my suspicion had been right Kurova only held Rose responsible for their leaving. Vasalissa tried to cut in and take some of the blame and Kurova stopped her cold.

"A real Guardian wouldn't allow their charge to do something so reckless, no matter what their Moroi wanted," she said firmly, shooting daggers at Rose with her eyes. "Especially the last of a Royal line. If Ms. Hathaway was the Guardian for you she claimed to be, she would have taken your concerns to me."

Alberta set her lips into a thin line. She didn't like the direction this was going any more than I did. I felt this was an unfair view to make in this situation. Maybe if the two were 30…but when they'd left they'd barely been 15. How fair was it really to expect Rose to shoulder the entire responsibility for this?

I resisted the urge to say anything though. It wasn't my place, really. I was Vasalissa's Guardian, but I was still the new guy here. The only power I had was in regards to the Princess, not to discipline them. I watched the argument continue and was struck again by how different the two girls were. Vasalissa had taken her lecture in quiet submissiveness while Rose had lit up like a bonfire at the opening line and now was letting loose with her opinion, punching her statements with many colorful swear words. Alberta and I had both winced at the first one before we got ourselves braced, and they kept coming. Rose simply refused to admit her wrong doing, despite neither girl being able or willing to articulate what the hell they'd been so afraid of in the first place, and instead stood up for her belief that she had, impossibly, taken the safer course of action for Vasalissa.

We watched the words fly between the two, the Dhampir girl in hastily thrown on, worn out old jeans and hoodie that had seen better days and the carefully put together, not-a-hair-out-of-place, fully grown Moroi woman and sleek business formal clothes. Bother their faces were by now red with exertion, emotional and verbal. I saw Alberta's forhead wrinkle the tiniest bit in a carefully concealed frown as she watched the verbal tennis match continue to play out. We'd been here for over 45 minutes already and were no closer to a resolution. Victor sat calmly in his seat, a pleasant expression on his face, which struck me as kind of odd, but then he wasn't a Guardian. He had no responsibility here for the outcome.

Suddenly Kurova had had enough and broke into Roses' tirade, telling her she was no longer allowed to be a student at the school. She sounded both completely serious and slightly gleeful. Alberta's eyes widened a fraction and she went tense. This was what she'd been afraid of, I realized suddenly. There was total, shocked silence in the room for half a second, then all hell broke loose.

Both girls exploded in protests, Vasalissa almost hysterical and Rose in complete shock and disbelief. Victor had lost the amused smile and was frowning heavily now and leaning forward in his seat, getting ready to put his thoughts in the mix. Alberta had also opened her mouth and was saying something to Kurova, who was ignoring everybody and continuing on with what she was saying.

I stood there in shock, the only one not speaking. In truth, I wondered what could be said. It wasn't an entirely unjustified move by Kurova, although I felt certain her reasons were more personal the more I watched rather than professional. Rose was not a star student and _had_ purposely taken a Moroi out of safety and run away with her, effectively kidnapping her instead of guarding her, even if it had been welcome by said Moroi. Any Headmistress of any school would find that inexcusable. There was nothing to save Rose except looking sorry like Vasalissa had. And she hadn't.

But now her eyes were looking around – I thought for Alberta – to ask for help, but they passed right by her and found mine. And held. And, shockingly, they begged. They begged me with complete desperation to stop her, somehow, from being sent away. Not sent away from the school, but from being sent away from her Moroi. The one she so desperately wanted to protect. Her fingers on the hand closest to Vasalissa twitched and then clenched the arm of the chair she was in, as if she thought holding on to her friend would somehow keep her from being sent away from her. Watching her, and the agony on her face, my heart ached. I thought about Ivan, about how devastated I'd been when I heard the news. I hadn't been there, and he'd died. And I firmly believed that if it had me there that day, rather than Olenz, he would have lived. I had failed him with my absence. I was supposed to be there to protect him and I hadn't been. And he'd died. Rose was terrified of the same thing happening to her friend if she was forced to leave. There seemed to be no evidence that this was true, but she believed it with everything she had. They both did.

I'd wanted to wait to fully confirm this before I brought it up. Probably only to Alberta. But this was all there was to save her.

"They have a Bond." I said the words clearly, toning my voice to carry over the others without being too loud or aggressive. Calm. Authoritative. Sure. It was a gamble, but I didn't think it was much of one.

Total silence fell. Alberta was watching me with a frown that meant she was thinking about something. Victor was leaning forward…expectant? And excited, I thought. Eyes shining with excitement. Rose and Vasalissa were staring, faces a blend of shock and fear. Rose threw in some of that patented anger she carried around for good measure. Kurova looked completely caught off guard, then angry as well. She was the first to speak – and deny it.

"That's impossible," she said flatly. "No one has heard of one in centuries." It was a reactive statement, out before she'd even thought to say it. Well, I'd wanted to wait for some kind of hard proof, but here I was, jumping in feet first, all because those eyes had begged me for my help. Mine, not Alberta's, or even Victor's – and that would have made the most sense for her here because he was a well-known favorite of the Queen. While I was merely the 'cheap, foreign labor' sent to steal them away from their makeshift home and bring them back here. She'd refused to talk to me or even really look at me the whole way back. What had possessed her just then to look to me for help? I suddenly really, really wanted to know. Lucky guess? Instinct? Some impossibly small observation she'd made that had her think I _might_ do it?

My thoughts were spinning out of control, too fast for me to keep up with and everyone was staring at me, waiting for my next words. Rose was staring at me. The room felt like it was shrinking. But my face displayed none of it. Smooth like river polished stone, my mentor had always told me. Display nothing of what you think or feel. I had been grateful many times for this lesson she'd pounded into my thoughts and body. Now was definitely one of those times.

"It's obvious," I heard myself saying, my confidence leaving no room for argument. "I noticed it within moments of observing them." It wasn't actually that quick, but for now all I had were a few vague seconds here and there. Nothing solid. No proof. I had to make up for it with confidence – or the girls had to confirm it! And like the sun coming out after a bad storm, my thoughts stilled and I knew I had my answer. I continued on seamlessly.

"Rose knows what Vasalissa is thinking and feeling. Don't you Rose?"

At the sound of her name we locked eyes again. This was it. Either she'd take my hint, and the lifeline I'd thrown her, and confirm it…or she'd completely take me by surprise and do the opposite. I realized suddenly wouldn't be surprised by either one. Clearly they'd kept it a secret until now. But she's asked me for help and Id thrown her the only rope there was. Surely she'd be smart enough to grab it?

She did. Her face was a thunderstorm of clouds and she was now glaring at her lap. If I was right, then she was probably listening to what Vasalissa was thinking right now before saying anything. I looked over at her, and Vasalissa looked as though she was becoming ok with the idea. She looked anxiously at Rose, clearly wondering if this would allow her to stay. Kurova was also looking at Rose, but not in a friendly way. Alberta was a statue and staring into space. Victor was leaning forward on his cane, looking…hungry, of all things. How strange. He was waiting for Roses' confirmation. We all were.

'Come on Rose,' I thought.

"Ms. Hathaway –" Kurova started. It seemed to kick start something inside Rose because without a second of warm up she switched seamlessly from refusing to speak to full on battle mode. She sat up straight and looked Kurova dead on.

"Yes, ok? Yes, we have a Bond. I can hear and feel was Lissa feels, but not the way around. Its one-way."

Really? One-way? I hadn't expected that. The stories had never specified really, so I'd always assumed it was a two way street.

Kurova didn't look convinced. She looked at Vasalissa. "Ms Dragomir –"

But Vasalissa was nodding. "It's true. It's been that way for a while, but we kept it a secret." Kurova looked about ready to call all three of us liars but then help came unexpectedly from the left.

"Oh, my dears, what a marvelous, precious gift!" Victor Dashkov clapped his hands delightedly. "The stories are full of legends about this!"

"Yes. _Stories."_ Kurova all but snarled.

"History," I corrected firmly. "They are our histories, not fairy tales. And in them, all the best Guardians had them."

And then we were off. Kurova, I and Victor Dashkov going to bat for our respective beliefs on this matter while the girls watched, their heads (or eyes, in Alberta's case) followed the fast paced trajectory of our words.

Now I was supporting our 'fairy tale' with other, more solid facts: girls were rarely trained to be Guardians and it would be a travesty if we sent one away that was already here. Her training prior to leaving showed lots of potential. She was Vasalissa's age so was a perfect match to be her Guardian after graduation, provided she could catch up in time.

Victor was nodding along and verbally agreeing, subtly lending the influence of his nobility and name to my statements, while bringing up his own research into Bonds between the Guardians and Moroi of our past, giving multiple examples of how Bonded pairs had been saved from hopeless situations because of this unique connection. None were recent of course, but he also pointed out that we didn't know what made Bonds happen, and it was entirely possible that there were other out there who like Rose and Vasalissa had simply chosen to keep it a secret.

And Kurova repeatedly brought up Roses' past disturbances and the running away.

"She is too u_ndisciplined_ to ever be a Guardian!" she snapped. I was losing patience now, feeling like we'd gone around the same circle of arguments at least 3 times by now.

"Then teach her discipline," I said, getting testy myself. In Siberia we handled kids like Rose very differently, and as such, they never got as bad as her. My own opinion of Rose based on her records and what I'd seen, was that she was spoiled. Not in the sense that Royals are, but she acted out because the consequences for it never outweighed the fun of living it up. And instead of trying a different method of punishing her, the school had kept doing the same thing that hadn't worked before. I felt like this was a problem with 's as a whole, and possibly all American schools, rather than a problem with Rose per se. And some general irritation at the way things were done here was starting to surface. I got a warning look from Alberta and took a deep breath to calm down.

"And the class time she's missed? Two years!" Kurova really was a broken record.

"Then tutor her!" I snapped, still trying to calm back down. But in Siberia things were just so different. They had a separate section of staff just to tutor any student who underperformed in any area until they could meet expectations again. It was done immediately after every quarter so they wouldn't get too far behind, and because the students knew to expect it, there was no stigma associated with it like there was here. "Have someone work with her, before and after classes until she catches up. Her record shows she shouldn't have a problem with that." Honestly, you would think I was asking to send Rose to the moon in a milk crate.

"And who's going to put in those extra hours? _You?"_ Kurova's voice was biting and sarcastic. And it brought me up short.

"Well, I – that's not what I meant –" I felt a rare moment of uncertainty. I'd never taught anyone. Not really. A few tips here and there to my younger sister, or fellow classmate. Ivan, when he'd asked. But even then, we'd both agreed only a few weeks in that it was best to stop. A whole year? With the responsibility to make up 2 years of curriculum? Where did someone even start with that?

Kurova scoffed at me now. "That's what I thought." And the satisfied way she said that felt like I'd been slapped by a Strigoi. I knew I'd just lost major ground in my argument because Id hesitated. Because I'd been afraid. And now Rose, who hadn't made eye contact with me since I'd brought up the Bond half an hour ago was watching me again – they both were – pleading coming from Vasalissa's eyes and downright panic and dismay from Roses'. She knew I'd just lost ground too and was back to imagining being sent away. The desperate glance she gave in Vasalissa's direction before looking back at me stabbed me painfully in the heart. And now her eyes were burning into mine fiercely, even as her hand twitched again, even her subconscious wanting to grab onto Vasalissa, to physically tie herself to the Moroi she'd sworn her life to at the thought of being made to leave.

And Ivan's voice spoke to me, a piece of an old memory.

'_You're not afraid of anything'._

'_I'm afraid of this'._

'_Is it really fear though? Or just feeling uncertain of the outcome?'_

'_Is there a difference?_' I'd asked the question bitterly. But Ivan had remained calm and answered with serious thought like always. It was his best quality, the way he took any question I asked of him seriously. A quality I'd hoped to one day emulate.

'_I think there is a great deal of difference. One is… paralyzing. And based on knowledge of bad things happening in the past. The other is… human. A tearing of the heart and mind between what you want and what you know. And the sadness that accompanies anytime you have to choose between them. But it's not paralyzing the way fear is. It's only a transition in time. It will always pass, no matter what you do or don't do, where fear does not always go. And has no facts to be based on – just ideas about the future.'_

It had been one of those moments where Ivan had changed me for the better. And now I spoke to Kurova but kept my eyes on Rose.

"I will train her." Her shoulders slumped a minute in relief, then she squared them again. I'd interrupted Kurova so I spoke again, this time with my eyes on her. "I will train Rose."

Kurova's mouth opened in shock. And she grasped at whatever argument she had left that Victor and I had not already beaten. "And what about the consequences for leaving? For damaging school property? There has to be punishment for that!"

In my periphery I saw Vasalissa flinch at the mention of damaging school property. But not Rose. It was odd enough to catch my attention, but not enough for me to dwell on now. We still weren't completely in the clear here. And I was rapidly losing the energy for much more of this.

"Find some other way to punish her." My tone was almost black now and I knew my control was slipping. My control – Ivan's gift to me. The old me was fighting hard but I breathed slowly through my nose, forcing my heart rate back down. Vasalissa was speaking to Kurova now and Victor Dashkov was leaning forward again, looking ready to speak up also. Kurova looked like she wasn't being moved.

Ivan's voice came again to my mind. _'Stay calm, Dimitri, old friend. They have no power over you if you stay calm'._ Another memory. Or a piece of one. God, there were so many. My chest was tight and at the same time felt like a huge hole was ever expanding inside it.

And then, finally, just when I'd about given up, Kurova broke. She laid out the strict terms on which Rose would be allowed to stay. They were restricting, to say the least, and Rose was angry again – no surprise – but we'd done everything we could. Alberta had verified that she'd count my sessions with Rose as credit for the missing years. Victor had added credibility to the Bond. Now it was up to Rose. Kurova wouldn't keep the offer open much longer.

Rose glared around at all of us, and caught my eyes again. It seemed accidental this time but it held. Silently I tried to talk to her with just our gaze. 'Take the deal. Don't be stupid. This is the last chance you'll get'. Her face showed puzzlement and then with a sigh, resignation. I felt myself relax finally and glanced at the clock again. Two and half hours. It felt like years. Rose looked back at Kurova and when she spoke her voice was the quietest it had been the whole time I knew her.

"OK."

'_Atta girl,'_ Ivan's voice said.


	4. Chapter 4

We left the room, finally, but my job today wasn't done. Alberta and I took Rose to get her schedule and ensure she actually went to class today, while Alton and Stevens who were still waiting outside the office door took Vasalissa to her first class.

We all walked to the guidance counselor's office in silence where the Moroi working there made out the schedule and added her name to the roster so the teachers would know to expect her. I wondered if the reason we were really here was so the teachers would have a heads up that it was Rose who would be joining their classes; Vasalissa hadn't been taken here after all. She'd simply been dropped into her first class.

Rose then followed us silently to her first class – a sulky silence, not a respectful one – and had said nothing to the man who made her schedule, not even a sarcastic thank you. Alberta had made a few sentences of small talk and I had waited quietly by the door. Now Alberta and I walked side by side without speaking and I was starting to wonder if I was in trouble with her.

We were on our way to Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques in the gym, and it was a Senior level class. I wondered if Rose knew what was in store for her now. No doubt this first week was going to be a very rude awakening for her. I remembered all too clearly how bruised and beaten my own body had felt each year after a mere 2 months off for the summer, and her classmates had had two full years of practice that she had missed. More, actually, because she hadn't quite finished her Freshman year before they had run away. Rose was definitely in for some serious suffering. Glancing back at her over my shoulder I saw she seemed completely lost in thought, and unaware of what was to come. We passed a group of Moroi girls going the other direction and they all stared openly at Rose before whispering viciously to each other. It wouldn't just be the physical toll of getting back in to training that she had to look forward to it seemed. But for now Rose seemed unaware of either.

Alberta still had said nothing to me, and I was curious and growing nervous. I knew she'd asked me along because she wanted to say something, but seemed to be in no hurry to do so. My mind tried to guess what it could be about, and I kept going back to the meeting in the office and how there had been several times where I'd come close to losing my temper and I knew she had seen. I also wondered what she thought of the Bond, and of my bringing it up.

But by now we'd made it to the gym and I was pulled out of my head and into the room. Rose walked in and stopped, taking a slow and deliberate assessment of her peers. Her body language screamed her desire to reestablish her dominance with everyone she slowly made eye contact with, exuding an exaggerated air of ease and casualness. I wondered how many of her classmates bought this act. To me it reeked of nervousness and overcompensation. But, in addition to that, she seemed to feel more confident about her position here at the school, and without Vasalissa here to worry about, a fire seemed to suddenly burn in her, straightening her backbone even further. She continued to gaze around frankly, both observing and allowing herself to be observed. Quite a different mood from any of the others she's shown earlier today. Night. Whatever we were on right now until we all went to sleep and let our bodies adjust to the new schedule again.

And suddenly I noticed to my horror the way the boys were all looking at her. Not like she was a ghost or a juicy piece of gossip like the Moroi girls we'd passed earlier had, but like a juicy piece of meat on a hook. My insides churned and seemed to turn to stone as I looked around at all of them. All boys except for two girls. And while the girls were both attractive, it was clear they didn't hold a candle to Rose. And the boys obviously agreed with me. 20 of them. All salivating as they walked up to her in pairs or singles.

Well, it wasn't as if I hadn't known those were the typical ratios, I chided myself. I hadn't lied to Kurova when I'd said me needed to keep all the girl Dhampirs we had because there were so few now. But still, as I studied the boys studying Rose I realized I'd forgotten how base and uncivilized they were at this age. How openly their faces and bodies displayed their thoughts. And how express their thoughts about girls were at that age. No wonder she'd had no trouble getting in trouble with them before she left. And now, she looked older and very much like a grown woman, a far far cry from her appearance when they'd left. I felt an extreme unease settle over me. How was I going to keep her from breaking probation all year, her_ senior_ year, the one everyone wants to party through? Especially when it was clear to a blind man that these boys wanted to party with her? And on her? And - no. Just stop right there. I forced my rambling thoughts to a standstill, just in time to hear Rose speak – and feel my stomach hit the floor in dread.

"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time."

Oh God. She didn't. She couldn't have. She had. With an extremely feminine and flirty tone of voice and just the right amount of smart-ass in there to be absolutely devastating. And her opening line, the first words out of her mouth to these boys after a 2 years absence, was to talk about thinking about her naked in her personal time?

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

And she was smirking at the boy with flaming red hair and freckles and the gushiest puppy dog eyes I think I'd ever seen. The only good thing here was that one look at Mason told me I didn't need to worry about him trying to get in her pants right away. The poor boy was smitten. I would only need to worry about him if Rose decided she liked him. And it seemed as though she didn't. But that left the other 20 or so guys to keep an eye on. In this room. I hadn't even considered the rest of the student body yet. Fuck. And her words had most definitely piqued their interest, sharpened their gazes on her.

And the worst part here, the part that had me wanting to run back to Kurova and beg to be released from my insane agreement, was that Rose had been the one to initiate talk of being naked. She had no intention of playing hard to get.

The next words to break through my thoughts was worse, confirming all my fears, and dread.

"It's always a good time to think about you naked." All the boys laughed, and smiled hugely. Rose seemed not the slightest bit upset at being looked at by this pack of wolves, not a single concern that maybe this wasn't the best sort of attention to have. If she had been one of my sisters and doing this, I would have been marching her out of the room and into a basement somewhere with no windows where I had the only key. And then proceeded to give a multiple hour long lecture, with graphic examples. Maybe even photos.

Instead, Rose looked quite happy to be swallowed up by the group, who were all taller and bigger around than her, so that now I could barely see her. I was done. I couldn't stand here any longer and watch this, seeing my future career slowly circling the drain like this. I would lose it. I wasn't sure yet if it would be at Rose for encouraging trouble to find her, or at the boys for the inevitable trouble they'd end up being.

'_You were trouble at that age,'_ Ivan reminded me. His voice was gentle and amused. _'You went on quite a tear there for a little while. It's a stage all boys go through before they become men.'_

'_They can go through it with a girl that isn't her – anyone else but her.'_

'_That sounded a little possessive there my brother. Not to mention, there aren't very many others to choose from here.'_ Ivan's smile was spilling over heavily into his voice and I growled at him. _'You can't seriously expect them to leave her alone – a pretty girl, newly returned from an illicit adventure? And as open with her thoughts as that? You need to go find that bat you used to tell Vika you'd use on her boyfriend's when she was young. You're going to need it.'_

By now Rose was fully immersed by the male admirers, not even the top of her pony tail showing.

'_Fuck you Ivan,_' I growled again. _'For leaving me to deal with this fucking shit.'_

'_That was out loud, old friend. In Russian, but still. Be careful. You and I are not the only native speakers of it here.'_

As he chastised me, Alberta met my eyes and sharply inclined her head toward the door, wordlessly telling me to get out. With immeasurable relief I did.

I stood outside the building and concentrated on taking deep breaths, feeling my heart beat, and studying the starts above me. I'd named a dozen of them before I felt my cool come back, and I could allow myself to relax. My shoulders and neck were stiff with all the restrained emotions and tension of the last 12 hours especially and I realized how tired I really was, how ready to sleep and not to think.

Once Alberta had spoken to me I would be able to slip into that wonderful, dreamless oblivion for a few hours before my first session with Rose this evening…morning… I needed it. Everything was always better after sleep.

It had only been a few minutes before Alberta finished and came outside to stand in front of me. By then I was relaxed and eager to go to my bed. Her face was expressionless as she quickly examined me, but she nodded a quick approval at the change in my demeanor before speaking.

"I know all of you have been up for a full day, and some of you longer, but I need to put all of you to work now rather than tomorrow. Victor Dashcov is visiting and his opinion ranks highly with the Queen. We're too short handed to fill all the required shifts without you all. Both Headmistress Kurova and I want to avoid a bad report to Queen Tatiana."

I fought back the urge to groan and protest. I should have expected this earlier when I first saw we had a Royal visiting.

"Where would you like me?" I asked instead, meeting her gaze fully, obediently. It wasn't her fault. This was just part of the job. St. Vladimir's had certain requirements of its Guardian responsibilities laid out in its charter, and to have a high ranking or Royal Moroi here, we had to always have enough on duty and in the appropriate spots. I was one of several new hires to make sure the school could do that, and have enough of us to allow everyone one day off a week. And since the Royal in question was here visiting his child, and was so highly favored by the Queen, we had to put our best face forward. It didn't matter how tired – or irritated and anxious – any of us felt. I knew my obligations and I would not shirk them. My bed would have to wait.

Alberta was pursing her lips, considering. "I've put the others on classroom detail. No walking the perimeter – you all are tired enough. I can do the same with you, or you can do the walk if you prefer. The only classroom left is Guardian Altos."

"I'll go wherever you think best. Although, Guardian Alto's a knowledgeable instructor here, and I enjoy listening to his lectures. "

Her lips pursed some more. "You may not enjoy it today. Rosemarie is scheduled to be in there next period." I said nothing, not sure what she was hinting at. "Guardian Alto and Rosemarie have a difficult relationship. I expect him to be especially stern with her today. And I expect her to be especially argumentative."

She seemed to be waiting to see what I would say to that. But really, what could I say? "I'm responsible for her good behavior. If you think there might be a scene today, then I should be there."

I said the words firmly, but inside I wanted to punch or kick something repeatedly. Very hard. I'm not often tempted to complain about an assignment, but I damn sure was now. My nerves felt too raw after everything. I'd been awake now for almost 48 hours, chased down two runaway girls and prevented a secondary escape plan, engaged in an emotional battle of wills for 2 hours and then turned around and had to watch the girl that I did all that for be all but buried under a hungry, horney pack of testosterone laden wolves in boys clothing. With a huge smile on her face. And then to top it all off, the corollaries I'd seen between Rose and Vasalissa, and Ivan and myself had become unbearably painful to keep witnessing by the end there; like a bruise being punched over and over, the first few had been tolerable, but then they just hurt. And now, I had a feeling that the attitude side of Rose was only just beginning to raise its head now that she was feeling safe and home here again. And I was tired and cranky. Very cranky. And the final piece here was being told that I should expect my first fire in less than an hour.

Alberta had offered to let me walk the perimeter, but I couldn't. If something were to happen in Stan's class between them, I had to be there – to stop it, or at least witness it. And do damage control after. Shit. Alberta nodded again at my choice, this time with approval hinted at in her posture.

"Very well. I need you there. After classes are over you'll have your first session with her, then on the perimeter in spot J until 8. Then we'll sit down and workout a permanent schedule tonight.

I nodded my understanding and agreement and she clapped a hand on my shoulder once before heading off to her next duty without a backwards glance.

'_Long day,'_ Ivan said sympathetically.

'_Yeah.'_ We were both quiet for several long moments, enjoying the peace and emptiness of the night air while everyone was in class. The background had the sounds of kids in the gym training and of a single owl in a tree nearby.

'_You're doing the right thing my friend,'_ Ivan finally said. _'With Rose.'_

I shook my head ruefully_. 'It's going to be a fucking disaster. You heard her in there? Practically inviting them to try and have sex with her. I'll have to watch her every minute to see that she doesn't break the rules of her probation. And even then, I can't watch all the time. I'll have to enlist help with it.'_

Ivan shook his head now_. 'She told them to think about her naked on their own time. That's not quite the same thing.'_

'_On their own time. Their own, free, private time. And they will. A lot. And then they'll want to do more than just think about it.'_

"Guardian Belikov?" The voice brought me out of my head and into the present. I looked at Guardian Kruz. He was medium height and build for a Dhampir, with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes. Military style haircut, always smelled like soap. A good guy – but way too much of a gossip for me to want to get to know better. He loved a good story, almost as much as telling one. I stifled a rude response and smiled instead.

"Guardian Kruz. Good to see you. It's been a week or so. Been busy?" Polite, unnecessary small talk.

"The word is that you've agreed to mentor Rose Hathaway." So, no small talk from him. This was unusually direct for him too. I bit my tongue to keep from taking out my general frustration and irritation at the whole world out on him.

"I have."

He grinned. "You have no idea what you're in for," he said it like he was imparting me with a huge, important secret. I resisted the urge to groan.

"I've read her entire file and watched her actions closely since we got her. I'm as prepared as I can be." I said it politely still of course, but my tone suggested that I was done with the conversation. Kruz laughed at this and again I was reminded that I didn't really like him. His laugh always sounded like it was at someone else's expense. Like mine.

"You're never prepared enough for Flyaway Hathaway'." He said, shaking his head. "That girl is a nightmare." He suddenly gave me a serious face, something unusual for him. "Don't let her do too much damage." I opened my mouth to respond but he cut my reply off. "To you. She's gotten a bunch of people to quit or have a nervous breakdown over the years. And none of them were solelypov responsible for her like you are." My mouth closed for a minute while I tried to think of a response.

"It won't happen to me," I finally said, not sure what else could be said.

"Sure, sure." Kruz was unconvinced. "Anyway, good luck man. I mean that. We're rooting for you." And before I could respond he'd walked off. I found myself glaring at his retreating back, feeling slightly like I'd been threatened somehow.

I checked my watch and sighed before heading off to Stan's classroom.


	5. Chapter 5

I slid into the back of the room, in between Damien and another Guardian named Sadowsky. They both nodded their acknowledgement of my arrival and I stood between them. Sadowsky leaned over to whisper in my ear as the students started filing in.

"Good to have you back, man. I heard about the retrieval. Sounds like it went smooth."

"It went ok." I replied with a shrug. "We had to move in a little early but we got it done."

"Man, I wish I could have been there. I hear all your ops go smoothly. I mean, the stories I've heard –"

"It was nothing. We had a good team and everyone studied the blueprints and other information beforehand. Any operation can go smoothly as long as everyone on the team is adequately prepared." I had interrupted him, and yes that was rude, but really, it wasn't the most impressive work I'd done. It was only hard because of the hours of surveillance and the possibility of them fighting back. Rose being bitten had taken that threat right out. And it wasn't all me. We had had a good team, like I said. And after a few years you knew the sound of someone about t start in on a long recounting of tales they'd heard. Most of them were no doubt exaggerated, and even if they weren't – all the events involved loss. Loss of Dhampir life, Moroi life, human life…and of course Strigoi life. I knew Guardians who reveled in reliving their greatest hits over and over, but I didn't. Victories here, with what we did, they didn't feel like causes for celebration to me. It was just a job and it was sad that it was a necessary one. I got no joy from hearing about it.

Sadowsky grinned broadly, not at all upset about me cutting him off. "That's why everyone likes you Belikov. You never try to hog all the credit." Damien nodded as he said this. "And rescuing the Dragomir Princess, and getting to be her Guardian – that's going to look good on your resume. I mean, you could probably get anyone you wanted after a couple of years of this."

I smiled a little but shook my head. "I have to survive Roses' probation first," I said quietly.

"You will." He sounded confident. "You're not like the rest of us here. Most of us don't have much experience outside these grounds or the court. You're one of the only ones with years of personal Guarding in the real world. And 6 Strigoi kills. I mean, pretty much all of the rest of us only have 1 or 2, and some don't have any. Hathaway will be cake compared to all that."

It was nice to have at least one person who felt sure I'd succeed here. Damien bit his lips and looked ahead, obviously not agreeing. I wasn't sure I did either, for that matter, but it felt good all the same.

Stan called everyone to attention just as Rose stumbled in with 2 other almost late comers and slid into one of the few available seats in the middle of the room. I fought back a smile. Already she looked like she was moving stiffly and she slumped in her seat, clearly glad to let the chair do the work of holding her up.

'_It only gets worse from here,'_ I told her silently. _'Hopefully keeping you sore and tired will discourage you from getting creative with any of these boys.'_

I noticed that even the Moroi males were looking over at her, leaning around their friends to get a better view. And I felt a sudden discomfort as I realized her slump had left her knees spread wide apart, much like a guy might slouch, and the skirt of her uniform wouldn't be doing much of anything to protect her modesty if it wasn't for the black leggings she wore underneath. She seemed completely unaware, surprisingly, but a few of the boys in her row were making not very subtle efforts to try and see if there was a view anyway. Behind my back, my hands balled up into fists.

Stan spoke up now, however, calling her to stand at the front.

"No one told me we had a guest speaker here today! Rose Hathaway. What a privilege!" Rose jumped in her seat and sat up straight, thankfully closing her legs, causing the boys in her row to sigh and lean back, very disappointed.

'Thank you Stan,' I murmured in the back of my head.

"Well, come on. Come on. Don't sit there! Come up to the front so you can help m lecture the class." Stan was making hard eye contact with Rose, not a flicker of a smile on his face. Rose was facing away from me but the dismay she felt was obvious from her posture even before she spoke.

"You don't really mean – "

"I mean _exactly_ what I say, Hathaway. Go to the front of the class."

'_Oh, this should be interesting._' Ivan commented, leaning forward to see better.

'_Sure. Interesting is precisely the word I would have chosen, definitely.'_

'_It's good to see you've maintained that sense of humor you used to have,'_ Ivan replied to my sarcasm with complete seriousness.

Stan and Rose had about a 15 second showdown of not blinking before Rose sighed and went to stand beside his podium. She tried to hide her uncertainty and discomfort with a bold smile and massive flick of that dark, wavy hair over her shoulder. I fought back a flinch, afraid she'd accidentally show the bite mark from this morning.. last night…but thankfully the hair was plenty thick enough and it stayed hidden.

Suddenly her eyes that had been scanning the room landed on mine, and locked into place, frozen, and I noticed her knees suddenly knock together once before she adjusted her stance to stop it. She looked suddenly ill at seeing me and I wondered why. I wondered if I was supposed to give her a look of encouragement, she looked so pitiful now, but I thought back to my own mentor in Siberia. No. A mentor's job was to teach. To be fair, but very stern. I wasn't here to be her friend. So I watched her, and did not smile.

"So, Hathaway," Stan's voice was falsely cheerful now as he walked to stand beside her. I knew that tone. It was the sort teachers used when they intend to make an example of someone. "Enlighten us about your protective techniques."

"My…techniques?" Rose sounded uncertain. And young. Very young.

"Of course. Because presumably you must have had some sort of plan the rest of us couldn't understand when you took an underage Moroi Royal out of the Academy and exposed her to constant Strigoi threats." Stan looked around the room, making eye contact with each student before looking pointedly at Rose.

"We never ran into any Strigoi." Her voice was soft, and stiff with embarrassment and hurt pride.

'_Of course not,'_ I thought_. 'You wouldn't be alive right now if you had. But that was just dumb luck.'_

"Obviously," Stan was saying with a snort. "I already figured that out seeing as how you're still alive."

'_She looks so embarrassed.'_ Ivan whispered to me.

'_She should be. Her ability to keep Vasalissa safe is practically none at this point. Not from a Strigoi anyway. They needed to be brought back so she could finish her training, not just so that the Princess could be kept safe.'_

"So what did you do? How did you make sure she stayed safe? Did you avoid going out at night?" Stan was quizzing her, making a point and driving it home, or so I hoped. I had no doubt Rose wanted to try and escape again still, if they could. But even if she didn't we still needed to make it crystal clear why their leaving had been such a dangerous idea. I approved of what Stan was doing here.

"Sometimes," she said softly.

"_Sometimes."_ He repeated, incredulous. "Well then, I suppose you slept during the day and stayed on guard at night."

"Er, no."

I flinched at that one. It had been very clear how much the girls loved each other and wanted Rose to guard Vasalissa, but not it was being laid out for all to see that the desire well surpassed the actual ability of it.

"Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because _you. Weren't. Here."_

'_All this is true enough, old friend, but it still took some real intelligence to disappear for 2 years. And to have so many people looking that whole time, and not even find a trace until now?'_ Ivan had always had a thing for the underdog.

'_Look, I agree with you. She's not a stupid girl. She just acted like it. But the potentials there. I just have to find a way to harness it and do something productive with it.'_

'_You mean, like how I did that with you?' _he asked me now, slyly_. 'You were all raw potential and rage when we met. And look how well you turned out with my influence.'_

I said nothing to this. It was true.

"It's safer than you guys make it sound." Rose was arguing back now, red-faced with the exertion and she and Stan were leaning in toward each other and practically screaming in each other's faces.

"Safer? _Safer_? We are at _war_ with the Strigoi!"

Scratch that. Now they were yelling at each other. I shifted uneasily. Should I go down there? How much further would this go? I'd never seen Stan loose his head like this. He'd been stern with kids before, mocking and caustic, even. But I'd never seen him scream at one.

Sadowsky put a hand gently on my arm and shook his head minutely without stopping his gaze from the slow casual scan it had been doing all class. "Don't worry Belikov. This is normal for them. If he doesn't stop in a few minutes he'll have her spend the rest of class out in the hall."

My eyebrows narrowed and I glanced at Damien for confirmation. He nodded once. I forced myself to relax and looked back at the pair in the front of the room. Rose looked close to tears and was staring at her shoes.

"They are deadly and they are powerful. And do you know what makes them more powerful?"

Rose looked up and met my eyes again. And held. I kept my face smooth and stone like. I looked right back at her, hoping it let her know she wasn't alone. She deserved this – _needed_ this. She needed it driven home why their life outside had been so wrong, and couldn't be allowed to happen again. Why not completing her training was such a bad idea. But she also deserved to know I was there. I was her mentor now. And the life we had, it was hard. But with a partner, at least you never had to face it alone. And after Graduation, we might be partners, if all went according to plan. But for now at least, we definitely were. As much as this was humiliating her, and I knew it was right to let it happen, I couldn't let her feel like she was in it alone. So our gaze held for several long seconds.

"Moroi blood,' she whispered now, and I knew she was talking to me and only me. Her eyes stayed locked on mine and there was a weird crackle of energy in the air between us. Damien and Sadowsky were shooting me curious sideways glances.

"What was that?" Stan asked loudly. "I didn't catch that."

She spun around to face him and yelled back. "Moroi blood! Moroi blood makes them stronger!" Her voice cracked once, giving away just how close she was to breaking down.

"Yes," Stand said calmly, stepping back a bit to allow her space to gather herself back together. "Yes it does." He kept speaking but Sadowsky nudged me.

"What?" I whispered mouth not moving, words barely audible.

"What was that?" he asked me. "It was like you two were talking across the room."

"Just looking at each other," I said.

'_Really now? See, that's what I thought, but I thought it was a different kind of looking.'_ Ivan decided to choose that moment to be a smart ass.

"That was some telepathic shit there, man. I told you you had nothing to worry about. You'll get her trained. I know it."

We dropped silent again but I wondered. That strange energy charge had lasted just a few seconds, but it had been…definite. Definitely something.

"And as the Moroi disappears…" Stan's words trailed off and he looked expectantly at Rose.

"So do the Dhampirs." She finished his sentence.

"Well," he said, his energy now fully shifting back to its normal levels. "It looks like you learned something after all. Now we'll have to see if you can learn enough to pass this class and qualify for your field experience next semester."

He seemed satisfied by her slightly sick looking expression that he'd made his point clear. I hoped so. I hoped it would help her want to take her training seriously, especially ours. Her eyes met mine again as she walked back to her seat. Her face suddenly held a funny expression, one I couldn't readily identify, and then she blushed, her cheeks turning a mild pink, before pointedly breaking our line of vision and lowering herself stiffly into her seat. To my relief this time she crossed her legs and hunched her shoulders in protection against the eyes of the class. She didn't move for the remaining 40 minutes and Stan didn't put her on the spot again. Overall, I felt that had gone pretty good.

There were two more periods to wait through before lunch and I was starving. Damien and Sadowsky and I made small talk in between classes and I listened to Stan lectures while scanning during them. It made the time go by faster and he really was a good instructor. He wasn't the kids' favorite because he was strict and allowed no talking except to answer questions and made no jokes. But he knew his stuff and was very thorough in his presentation – two things more important for preparing these children than being the most popular teacher.

We were all three walking down the aisle to the doors at lunchtime when he called to me.

"Guardian Belikov. A word if you would? It'll be just a moment." He stood behind his podium, watching me. I slapped the others on the shoulders to bid them well before turning to walk to Stan. I stopped a foot away, hands clasped behind my back.

"Guardian Alto. Let me say, I enjoyed your lessons today. Thorough and precise as always."

"Thank you." He said calmly but moved immediately to his main purpose in speaking to me. "I hear you volunteered to be mentor to our young Ms. Hathaway in order to get her caught up?"

I lifted an eyebrow but nodded. "Yes. Volunteered is maybe too optimistic a word though. Kurova asked me to and I agreed."

It was Stan's turn to look unconvinced. "Well, whatever word you like for it." He said dryly, then leaned forward on his podium, closer to me, and studied me for a moment before speaking again. "I like you Belikov. More than most around here. Not that I like many people. Too flighty and eager to complain…lazy. People get lazy working here. They forget what guarding is like out in the real world. Without wards and dozens of other guardians for backup."

"Thank you, sir." I wasn't quite sure what he wanted, but I knew a compliment when I heard one, even if it was oddly phrased.

Stan sighed. "Have you had a chance to interact much with Ms. Hathaway yet? Directly? One on one?"

I shook my head. "We've spoken about 4 sentences to each other. And they weren't all in one conversation."

"She can be quite… frustrating." He said dryly. "God knows she's made me want to rip all my hair out on many occasions." I felt a smile pull at the corners of my mouth as I took in Stan's balding crown. Unexpectedly he grinned back, noticing where I was looking.

"Well," he said gruffly. "Metaphorically speaking. In reality I try to keep what little I have left."

"Did you have some advice for me?" I hinted, feeling my stomach growl in hunger. He nodded, accepting my hint.

"Be very careful with her Belikov. Don't leave an inch of freedom for interpretation. She doesn't do as she's told and the more important something is, the more she tries to fight it. This could make or break your career here, for the next decade or so. If she graduates – if you can keep her from being expelled and caught up, in time – once you have put in your time with Princess Vasalissa, you will be able to go anywhere, choose any assignment that you want. That's not true for very many of us. But, fail to bring Ms. Hathaway to heel and your name will only be said in derision. It's not fair, but there it is."

"So I've been told." I muttered. Stan shrugged.

"Truth is what it is."

"Do you think it can be done?" I asked now, suddenly curious. "Today, with her, you didn't have to go to all that extra effort. To make your point would only have taken a few minutes. You waited until you knew you had made an emotional point. Took 20 minutes out of your lecture to do it. It seems as though you must believe it can be done."

We were looking at each other frankly now, observing and assessing.

"I do." Stand sighed now. "But not by me. Maybe, if I was younger and had more time. But I'm old now. I teach because they retired me from the field. I've got the marks and the scars and the aches and pains to prove it. One thing I don't have is the sort of patience required to put into someone so headstrong as Rose. Not on a daily basis. Not to the extent that she needs." He looked at me, unblinking.

"But I do," I guessed. "I'm young but still have a fair share of experience with the outside world. And I'm assigned to her one on one every day."

"And known by reputation for your patience and unwavering code of conduct and good work ethic." He added seriously.

"Thank you."

He waved me away. "Thanks are not needed when someone tells you the truth. Your reputation speaks loudly for you. And that is because of your hard work, not because of anything I've done for you to be thanking me for."

We watched one another for another moment. "Do you believe I can train her?" I asked finally, suddenly needing the belief of someone I respected. Someone older and with real experience, both of what our lives required, and of Rose. I needed to hear it could be done.

"Train? Of course." Stan scoffed at that before once again turning his complete attention to me. "Tame though.. to tame her, and her tongue, and impulsive actions.. that's really what she needs. And that… I do not know. I hope so. For all our sakes. I believe you might be her last chance at it. Her mother, a wonderful woman and an exceptional Guardian though she is… I think Rose could one day be better. If someone could tame her." He studied me before adding softly, "But no one's done it before. And she's running out of time. After this year, no one will want her."

I pondered his words for a moment then nodded at him. "Thank you, for your advice." He nodded back, then waved me away.

"Go. Go eat. I hear your insides rumbling." I laughed slightly at that and started to turn away, then turned back.

"I would like to keep up our practices together, if we can. I have to see Alberta tonight after my shift ends about my new schedule, but if it's possible to fit it in, I would very much like to keep practicing with you. I think we both benefit greatly from it."

Stan nodded a smile on his face as well. "I'm sure I'll hear what the new schedule is one it's done. We'll find a time."

As I was walking to the cafeteria I noticed a stiff, slight figure walking ahead of me, long dark waves draped down her back catching the sun and throwing off highlights that looked red as fire.

'_She has beautiful hair.'_ I thought to myself. It was meant to be a private thought, but Ivan joined in.

'_Yes. And you've always had a thing for dark hair, haven't you?'_

'_It's not like that. It was just an observation. I'd have to be blind not to notice.'_

'_Just saying.'_

'_Well, don't.'_

Ivan saluted me, an ironic smile on his lips, which I ignored. Instead, I lengthened my stride to catch up to her. I was curious to see what effect the day had had on her so far.

She barely glanced at me before increasing her speed slightly as I slowed mine to match hers. "I suppose you saw what happened in Stan's class?" she hadn't bothered with my title, or my name I noticed, amused. She also knew I had noticed. I was glad to see it was still on her mind. He must have done fairly well at getting his points to sink in. But, I thought it best that I test the waters a little bit, to make sure.

"Yes."

"And you don't think that was unfair?" She looked over at me again, and again I felt that weird crackle in the air between us.

'_A mentor's job is to be strict but fair. Not a friend.'_ I reminded myself.

"Was he right? Do you think you were fully prepared to protect Vasalissa?"

She looked down at the ground now and her steps were slowing. I slowed with her. "I kept her alive," she mumbled. The same argument she'd used in Kurovas office, and in Stan's class.

"How did you do fighting against your classmates today?" I asked gently. I knew the answer without having to ask her teachers. Her sullen silence told me everything she thought about that. "If you can't fight them –"

She cut me off. "Yeah, yeah. I know." She snapped the words at me and strode off faster again. Again I sped up to stay with her. She only maintained it for a few steps before her aching muscles forced her to slow down again. I saw her wince with each step, frustration at how she felt, and at her performance today written openly on her face. I slowed down with her and decided to try another tactic.

"You're strong and fast by nature. You just need to keep yourself trained. Didn't you play any sports while you were gone?" I hoped she'd say yes. Surely she hadn't really gone 2 full years without any exercise at all?

"Sure. Now and then."

"You didn't join any teams?" Maybe she'd been worried about drawing attention to themselves. They were on the run after all.

"Too much work. If I'd wanted to practice that much, I'd have stayed here."

What? Seriously? What kind of work ethic was that? I'd really expected more from her. I let my exasperation show on my face. Time for another reality check it seemed. The quicker we broke through these illusions that she seemed to harbor about doing the bare minimum and that being enough, the better for both of us.

"You'll never be able to really protect the Princess if you don't hone your skills. You'll always be lacking."

"I'll be able to protect her!" I'd hit a nerve with that, but again, the reality didn't match up to her desire. She needed to see that. So I kept on, making my words as plain and fierce as I could. I took Stan's advice and left no room for her to argue with it.

"You have no guarantee of being assigned to her, you know – for your field experience or after you graduate." Her face fell as she looked at me. She knew I was right. "No one wants to waste the Bond – but no one's going to give her an inadequate Guardian either. If you want to be with her, then you need to work for it. You have your lessons. You have me. Use us, or don't. You're an ideal choice to guard Vasalissa when you both graduate – if you can prove you're worthy. I hope you will." 'And I hope that you heard what I said. What Stan said. I hope I wasn't wrong about you.' I added the last words silently, only to myself and Ivan.

She frowned at me and when she spoke, I felt my mood boil over. She hadn't heard a word of it.

"Lissa, call her Lissa."

I looked at her only a second more, then had to walk away before I let my temper get the best of me. All the warnings people were giving me about her were starting to wear me down… and now they seemed justified. I'd been hoping it was an over exaggeration, that people were blowing it all out of proportion because they'd had two years to talk about her exploits unhindered. But no, it seemed I was doomed to waste my time after all.

'_Fuck.'_ I said angrily. I envisioned going into a random classroom and smashing furniture until I was tired.

'_Calm, my old friend. Calm. It's her first day back. Half a day even. It will take some time for her to let you in, to let anyone trying to help her in. She's been on her own for a long time. She won't adjust to being told what to do again in a matter of hours. Be patient. Have faith.'_

'_Easy for you to say.'_ I muttered, and went to get food. I'd feel better when my stomach was no longer trying to rip itself apart for sustenance.


	6. Chapter 6

I found her again at the end of the day when she was supposed to be having her first lesson with me. We hadn't actually set up a time or place to meet, so I went to the building her last class of the day was in and walked around it a few times until I saw her and Vasalissa sitting on a bench outside. I knew that they would be wanting to catch up after the first day back and not being in the same classes, so I hovered around the corner. I thought about not eavesdropping, but then I decided that was a privilege she hadn't earned yet.

"I saw you Rose. I saw you talking to that other novice during class, talking about practice. You miss that." Vasalissa was speaking now, and I felt myself smile at her words. I knew Rose's first day had been painful, and tomorrow and the day after would be even worse, but I didn't want her to be miserable. And if she really had enjoyed her training again, it made it much more likely that she'd stay put and behave.

"It's not worth it. Not if you…you know..." Rose was arguing, but I couldn't make sense of what she was saying.

"It might be better," Vasalissa relied gently. "I haven't had many.. you know, things happening in a while. I haven't felt like anyone was following or watching us." That caught my interest immediately. Was this the reason they'd left? It was a question that had not been answered yet. Why had they felt it was safer away from here? Was it because they thought a person here was after them, trying to hurt them? Who would want to do that?

"What's wrong?" Vasalissa sounded worried now.

"Huh? Oh. Nothing. Just thinking." Rose sighed and it sounded like she was shifting her book bag on the bench. "Liss, we can stay, I guess, but there are a few conditions."

I was glad she seemed to agree that staying was better for now than trying to run again, and I almost walked out to make myself known, but I was curious to see what was next.

"A Rose ultimatum huh?"

"I'm serious. I want you to stay away from the royals. Not like Natalie, or anything, but you know, the others. The power players. Camille. Carly. That group."

Were these the people the ones they'd been worried about? The people who were after them? Other royals?

"Are you serious?" Vasalissa sounded astonished.

"Sure. You never liked them anyway."

"You did."

"No. Not really. I liked what they could offer. All the parties and stuff."

"And you can go without that now?" A good question, I thought. Could she? She had to, at this point, but would it be willingly?

"Sure. We did in Portland." I felt a sigh of relief try to bubble up as Rose said this, but kept it inside.

"Yeah, but that was different. Here…here I've got to be a part of that. I can't avoid it." Vasalissa sounded…sad now. And determined.

"The hell you do. Natalie stays out of that stuff."

"Natalie isn't going to inherit her family's title. I've already got it. I've got to be involved, start making connections. Andre-" She wasn't wrong, I realized. As the last Dragomir she would be pulled into the world of politics at some point, by other people wanting to float on the prestige of her family name. If she wanted to have any real power of her own at some point, she had to start polishing her skills now or she would be used by anyone who she talked to. It was sad but true. And these children she was in class with would one day be the power plays in the adult world. While their opinions on things matter not at all now, they would in 10 years.

Rose didn't agree with either of us. "Liss," she was groaning now, obviously an old argument between the two. "You aren't Andre. "

"He was always involved in all that stuff." Vasalissa argued, defending her position. Not the best argument for that, but that was why she needed the practice. Why she needed to interact with the other royal children here. She only had one more year to practice before it mattered for real.

"Yeah, well, he's dead now."

There was silence as all three of us waited in shocked silence after Rose spoke. The words had been cruel, and the tone she used made them even more so. I was shocked. This was uncharacteristic of Rose to do to someone she was so fiercely protective of.

'_There must be a reason she's so afraid of the royals,'_ Ivan murmured. Make that 4 of us that had listened to her harsh words.

"You know, sometimes you aren't very nice," Vasalissa finally said, her voice hard. Her own words hadn't been very hard at all, but the voice she used to say them more than made up for it. It had steel in it. I found myself suddenly feeling very proud of the Princess. She had seemed too weak and fragile up till now that I had been harboring a few minor concerns in between all the moments of thought of what I was going to do with Rosemarie. But I hadn't had the spare time yet to really think about my future charge out in the real world, and how I would need to prepare to do my best by her. If I had, I think most of it would have been plans of keeping her out of harm's way with people's words. But this showed me she had fire in her just like her friend did. Her own fire. It just needed more practice too. And it made me glad to know it was in there.

"You don't keep me around to be nice," Rose was saying now, voice low, but tinged with apology in it, even if she wouldn't come out and say the words themselves. "You want nice, there are a dozen sheep in there that would rip each other's throats to get in good with the Dragomir Princess. You keep me around to tell you the truth, and here it is: Andre's dead. You're the heir now, and you're going to deal with it however you can. But for now, that means staying away from the other royals. We'll just lie low. Coast through the middle. Get involved in that stuff again, Liss, and you'll drive yourself…"

"_Crazy?"_ Vasalissa's voice was harder now, and an open challenge was in her word. The heavy silence that followed her question told me there was something specific here that they were referring to. Something that had happened before that neither of them wanted to openly talk about. Again, I wondered why they had run away. I had to know. Rose wouldn't have left just for fun. She'd been having fun here, as her disciplinary record could attest too. And Vasalissa felt an obligation here, to her future and family name. So what the hell had happened?

"I didn't mean..." Rose sounded more apologetic than before, and hesitant. She must not like fighting like this. There was another silence.

"It's ok.." Vasalissa sighed now and there was another sound, probably another book bag being shuffled around on the bench. "Fine. We'll stay, and we'll keep out of all that stuff. We'll 'coast through the middle', like you want. Hang out with Natalie, I guess." Neither of them sounded too thrilled with that idea and there was more silence. I was about to walk out again, and tell Rose it was time for practice, but Rose spoke up again.

"All right. We'll see how this goes. If anything goes wrong, anything at all, we'll leave. No arguments." No, they wouldn't. Time to interrupt before any planning could be done. I walked around the corner.

"Rose?" I stopped when I was only a couple feet away from them both, making sure I stood straight and used my full height to look formidable. The way the two involuntarily shrank back a bit told me it worked. Vasalissa looked nervous and I saw she had been fiddling with the end of some of her hair. She had it almost knotted up in her fingers. Her uniform they'd had her change into looked pristine, like it had been ironed for hours before she put it on. Rose had jumped at her name and shrank back only temporarily before she rallied and turned on the bench to face me, squaring her shoulders. Her hair looked black in the light of the lamps, and thick and luxurious. Her uniform looked like she'd left it balled up under a rock for a month and then put it on.

"You're late for practice," I said, making sure my tone was even and gave nothing of what I'd heard and felt away. I didn't miss the frantic looks they exchanged, both wondering if I'd heard the part about leaving and if they were going to be in trouble. I looked at Vasalissa, and bowed to her politely. "Princess."

"Guardian Belikov." She replied politely, though her eyes showed hints of uncertainty, and while not quite distrust, because I was a Guardian after all, not exactly openly trusting either. That was fair. I hadn't spent any time with her yet and she knew nothing about me. But I made a note to change that in the next few days.

While we were on campus it didn't really matter that I was her official Guardian. It would matter once we were off the property. But I didn't want to wait until then to start building a comfortable relationship with her. Part of being a Guardian meant making sure that your Moroi was comfortable with you, and that you developed a good working relationship. And the Princess seemed like a very sweet girl. I had had no desire to keep guarding after Ivan's death, but it was what I did. What I'd trained for, what I was good at. It was my obligation. I hadn't spent all those years getting to be one of the best just to stop in the prime of my life. But I hadn't been too excited when I first heard my new assignment. I'd been at the school for several months, which is what the council did with Guardians who were 'recovering' from injury or loss of some sort. They relocated you to a new area, with no triggers for old memories, and they put you in a low risk environment to recover – physically or mentally – until an assignment they felt was a good fit turned up.

I wasn't sure exactly what reason they'd had to think I would be a good match for Vasalissa. There were other Guardians available who were older than me, and even ones who looked a little more like her. When out in the world, it was important to blend in with your Moroi – or be invisible. At my height, it was difficult to do either, but with Ivan I had learned how to disappear, because there was no way we could have been related. But in Vasalissa's sake, I was too young to be her father, too dark everywhere to be her brother, and too old to be her friend. That was why Rose would be a perfect choice, if we made it that far. They were clearly the same age and could pass easily as good friends wherever they were. And that was without the Bond.

But then I'd been told I would be assigned to her, once they relocated her back to school. They'd only just found her after a 2 year absence, along with her Dhampir friend who had orchestrated the escape. I hadn't known anything of either girl before that, before I'd delved into the school records and before everyone had felt the need to tell me Rose horror stories to get me prepared. My initial response had been one of shock. Why of all people had they chosen me to be the Guardian to the last Dragomir? I still wondered that. I wondered whose idea it had been. I had a good, clean record after graduation, but nothing so amazing that a titled royal would look for me in particular, even one from a large family. It was a mystery for another day, but one I very much wanted to solve.

In the meantime, I told myself to make sure I found Vasalissa on her own sometime and got to know her, and ask about her preferences for guardian/Moroi interaction. Some Moroi liked you to pretend you couldn't speak. Some liked you to talk a lot. Some didn't know what they wanted. It was important to establish pretty early on what made your Moroi happy, so you could have a pleasant work relationship. I hoped eventually it would turn into genuine affection. Those were always the best. And Vasalissa seemed to have the same genuine nature that Ivan had. It made me glad.

We had been walking back to the gym together, Rose and I, in silence, each of us contemplating our own thoughts. But now Rose stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned, ready to argue with her, about…whatever she had to say… but then I realized in shock that she was staring into space. Her muscles were locked tight, rigid, keeping her upright, and her face was frozen also. Her eyes were glazed over and when I snapped my fingers in front of them, very close to her unblinking eyes, nothing happened. Not a twitch. That scared me. There was no way to fake that – anyone who is conscious will have to blink if you move something so close to their eye like that. I eyed her up and down, not sure what was happening. Was she asleep? Like, sleep walking? How could that be possible? I knew some people really did sleep walk, but there was no way to go from being awake to this deeply asleep out of nowhere, right? I wondered if I should page Alberta. Then I thought again, and decided I wasn't sure if I should. What if this was just a trick? A way to make me look incompetent? She hadn't really fully lived up to her reputation to me yet, and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Was this the drop? The first of many? I snapped my fingers by her eye again, closer this time. No. No trick. There was no way she was that good. But then, what did that leave?

"Rose?" I asked, hesitantly. I bent down and looked into her glassy eyes. She hadn't even blinked. I checked my watch. 5 minutes. Surely it wasn't healthy to go 5 minutes without blinking? I looked around, but saw no one around that might be able to help. It was half an hour after classes were over. Most people would be showering or eating dinner. There was barely anyone around. I looked back at Rose. Reached out, touched her cheek. It was cold.

'_Oh, dear…'_ Ivan said quietly.

'_Shit. Ivan, what the hell?'_

'_I don't know, old friend…. I couldn't even offer up a guess.'_ He sounded grim.

"Rose. Rose!" My voice was louder now and I reached out tentatively and gripped her shoulders, hoping physical contact would wake her. Wake her? Was she asleep? In a trance? Under a spell? No response.

'_Try…shaking her?'_ Ivan suggested uncertainly. I swallowed.

"Rose. ROSE?" I shook her gently. Nothing. Her head flopped around a bit before drooping forward, her chin resting on her chest. Oh God. What was happening?

"ROSE." I shook her again, and was about to pull her head up by her hair when suddenly she seemed to snap out of it. Her hands suddenly moved up to grip my hands and her legs wobbled a bit as she tried to catch her balance. I held her shoulders tightly, waiting till she seemed secure and steady. Her head looked up and her gaze met mine. She seemed disoriented, but present, at least. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her blink rapidly several times. No doubt her eyes were dry.

"Are you all right?" I felt stupid asking her that. But what the hell could I say? I didn't think she was hurt.. but what had just happened? What did one call that?

"I…yeah… I was... with Lissa." She said now.

I didn't know what I'd expected. Maybe for her to say she didn't know what had just happened. But that was not what she'd said. What she said was the farthest thing from what I think I'd expected as you could get. I didn't even know how to respond to that.

Rose moved one of her hands from mine to put it to her forehead like she had a headache. My own hand suddenly felt ice cold where hers was no longer touching it. I gently removed my hands from her shoulders, suddenly aware of a pair of passing Dhampirs walking by giving us funny looks. I put my hands behind my back to keep from reaching out to touch her again.

"I was in her head." Rose looked up at me, suddenly seeming weary. But alert. Not fuzzy, not unfocused. Just…weary. Like she had nothing left in her to try and explain the weirdness that just happened.

"Her…head." Ok. Not my most eloquent response ever, I knew. But really, what else was there to say? Rose seemed to expect my response, and grimaced.

"Yeah. It's part of the Bond." She finally said. It was clear she didn't feel like saying anything more. What the hell? I knew we didn't know much of Bonds, but really, what was that about? In her head? What did that even mean? Then my stomach tightened. Part of the Bond.

"Is she alright?" I was suddenly anxious. If Vasalissa was in trouble, maybe it had been so powerful that it dragged Rose into it somehow. I remembered the vague references she girls had made to people following her before, and their seeming fear of the royals. My worry must have broken through whatever thoughts of her own Rose was having.

"Yeah, she's…." The pause she made had me almost ready to shake her again. "She's not in danger." Rose finally finished. She looked unhappy as she said that. I wondered what that was about.

I looked around and saw the time on my watch. "Can you keep going?" I was tempted to send her home for the night after this, but she seemed fine now, physically. And back to being completely aware of her surroundings. If there was nothing wrong with her, then we needed to either be done for the night, or get to work so we could be done for the night. I had more work to do afterwards, and she would need food and sleep. Hell, I did too. But I looked at her squarely now as I asked this, wanting an honest answer. Wanting to see also if she would use this as an excuse to take the rest of the night off, even if she didn't need to. I wanted to see if she would be honest with me.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She sounded like she meant it. She looked like she meant it. I nodded briskly and we went the rest of the way to the gym. She left to go change into workout clothes, and I waited by the weight racks. She would be too tired mentally today to retain anything we worked on tonight. It would be better to go ahead and start with conditioning. Something that worked her muscles, but didn't require thinking. I didn't have to wait long, thankfully. She apparently wasn't one of those girls that takes half an hour to change. She was walking back in in 5 minutes, in a pair of shorts in sweat pant material that looked too big and a baggy t-shirt that was obviously too big. Something that someone had scrounged up that was somewhat close to her size. I knew by now that someone would have figured out her room assignment and dropped off the belongings we'd packed up. No doubt she'd go through them tonight after she got done here. But for right now she looked so young. Like a kid wearing her dads workout clothes. Her hair was still down, and I was about to suggest she put it up, but I remembered the bite mark that would still be there, and held my tongue.

"Hey, Dimitri, I'm actually pretty tired today. Maybe we should just take it easy tonight and it hard again tomorrow."

I couldn't help it. I laughed at this. I wasn't sure what had happened earlier, but she was fine now. And dressed out. And tomorrow would hurt so much worse than today.

"Why is that funny?" She looked annoyed. She'd been serious? Seriously? All the talking Stand and I had done about responsibility and having to work for what she wanted? And she was serious about asking for the night off?

I crossed my arms and looked at her sternly. "Oh. You were serious." Her words from earlier came back to me. 'Didn't you join any teams while you were gone?' 'If I'd wanted to work that hard I'd have just stayed here.' I felt my mood darken.

"Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days! Why do we have to start training now? Let me go to bed. It's just one hour…" Her voice had gone almost instantly from outrage to outright begging. I hated begging. I'd always hated it. And whining. I should have known she'd be a whiner. I felt my mood drop even lower.

"How do you feel right now? After the training you've done so far?"

"I hurt like hell." She responded instantly. Good. She was being honest at least. It helped me reign in the words I wanted to say and use something a little softer.

"You'll feel worse tomorrow."

'_That's your idea of softer?'_ Ivan asked me. I grimaced at him.

"So?" She asked me.

"So, better to jump in now while you still feel…not as bad." I knew I was right. I had years and years of this to show me I was right. But a part of me also felt like she deserved to hurt. She wasn't strong enough mentally or emotionally to deserve to be Vasalissa's Guardian. Maybe hurting this much would bring that out in her.

"What kind of logic is that?" She all but screeched. I wanted to snap back at her. Did she think she was any more rested than me? Than the rest of us who'd gone to get them? Did she think today had been easy for anyone? Was she really this selfish?

'_She's only 17,'_ Ivan reminded me. _'And she's been out of this for 2 years. She'll toughen up. You can't really get too mad at her for complaining. You know how much she has to be hurting right now.'_

I ignored her response and pointed at the first machine. She sighed and walked over. I put her on shoulders today. I showed her three different exercises and the weights and reps I wanted her to do. I thought it would probably be too much after everything else today, but she set to it, and even though she stopped and rested more than I would have liked, she got through it all, without asking to lower the weight. I sat on a throwing mat a few feet away and tried to read the book I'd brought. I carried one with me at all times because you never knew when you'd have a few minutes of downtime. And because it was the only thing nowadays that really seemed to calm me.

I waited while she worked, sure she'd start complaining again, or asking for help, or saying she didn't remember how to do something…all the little tricks that people used to try and get out of something, or get extra rest time. She didn't.

'_You see?'_ Ivan asked me now as she started her last set_. 'No complaining after she got started. You're being too hard on her. She'll come around.'_

'_We'll see.'_

When she finished, I called her over and showed her some stretches that I knew would at least help her to feel less sore tomorrow. She did them with me silently, and I wasn't sure if she wasn't talking to make a point of some kind to me, or if she was just too tired. I didn't care what the reason was. I was too tired too. We were sitting down to do the last ones, for hamstrings when she finally spoke up. But her question surprised me.

"How'd you end up as Lissa's Guardian? You weren't here a few years ago. Were you even trained at this school?"

I looked at her, and decided it was honest curiosity rather than her looking to pick a fight, so I answered, the best I could. I didn't really know myself what had made me the choice, but I could give her the facts that I had.

"No. I attended the one in Siberia."

"Whoa. That has got to be the only place worse than Montana." She smiled at me as she said this, and I felt myself try to smile back, but my lips wouldn't quite do it. In truth, I missed Siberia. I missed Russia. I missed Ivan. I missed it all. Montana was nothing to me. So I continued as though she hadn't spoken.

"After I graduated, I was a Guardian for a Zeklos lord." I stopped for a second before continuing. "He was killed recently." I swallowed the big ball of fire in my throat. I couldn't cry any more over his death. I'd tried, many nights, but it wouldn't come out. It just sat there in my throat, keeping the big hole in my chest company.

'_I'm sorry, my friend. I'm sorry I died.'_ Ivan's words were soft whispers in my ears_. 'I'm sorry I had to leave you.'_

"They sent me here because they needed extras on campus. When the Princess turned up, they assigned me to her, since I'd already be around. Not that it matters until she leaves campus."

I stared at my shoes now, but didn't really see them. I concentrated on the laces hanging down, on the feel on my hamstring enjoying the stretch. I concentrated on hearing our breathing. Anything I could bury myself in so that I wouldn't be drowned in the memories of that day. The day I'd heard the news. That day I'd dressed for his funeral. That day I'd been told to pack my bags and fly to America.

Rose spoke quietly, tentatively. "Did this lord die on your watch?" She said it in the same tone she used when talking to Vasalissa on the way here. Like she was comforting a scared rabbit. It surprised me to hear it being used on me. Did I look like I needed comforting? Was it that clear how much this hurt me?

"No. He was with his other Guardian. I was away." I couldn't stop the bitterness that came out with my words. I couldn't stop the resentment and anger. I felt myself shaking slightly as I tried to repress it all. Ivan was saying something to me now, trying to comfort me but I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't hear it. Nothing he could say would bring him back. Nothing he could say would make this hole in my chest go away. Nothing.

'_I don't blame you.'_ Ivan said firmly_. 'It wasn't your fault.'_

'_You would be alive if I had been there. You would still be alive.'_

'_But, would you be?'_ Ivans words were coaxing.

'_I don't care. I don't care if I would have been or not. You would be.'_

'_You would want me to live without you? Feel what you're feeling?'_

I said nothing. I had no response to that.

"Hey," Rose said abruptly, drawing me back to the present. I looked at her, startled. I'd forgotten she was there. "Did you help come up with that plan to get us back? Because it was pretty good. Brute force and all that."

What? Seriously? I raised an eyebrow at her and her own shot up almost into her hair as her gaze zeroed in on it. She looked fascinated. I felt incredulous. The plan had been very basic. It was nothing special. The only part that was out of the ordinary was how many of us had been allowed to go. And that hadn't been anything to do with me.

"You're complimenting me on that?"

"Well, it was a hell of a lot better than the last one they tried."

Now I was really incredulous. "Last one?" The whole reason so many of us had gone was because they hadn't been found before. No one wanted to risk messing this chance up.

"Yeah. In Chicago. With the pack of psi-hounds."

Psi-hounds. What was she talking about? What kind of plan would that have been? "This was the first time we found you. In Portland."

She sat up and looked at me funny. "Um, I don't think I imagined psi-hounds. Who else could have sent them? They only answer to Moroi. Maybe no one told you about it."

Like that would happen. Like they would send anyone out to retrieve them and not mention that this was the second attempt. But I decided to humor her. "Maybe." It had been a bad attempt. Her face said she didn't fall for it and we said good night on stiff terms.


	7. Chapter 7

It was later that evening after all the students had been secured in their dorms for the night when Damien came to relieve me from my post on the border.

"Alberta told me to take over so you guys could go over your altered schedule." He told me. Right. My altered schedule. The extra lessons with Rosemarie Hathaway.

Somehow, fatigued as I was, his saying those words felt like the proverbial bell tolling my impending doom. Maybe they'd put her name somewhere on my tombstone as cause of death. I shook the silly image out of my head. This wasn't a big deal. I'd been expecting it anyway in an hour. It was considerate of Alberta to find a way to do it now so I could go to bed an hour sooner. Surely my usual schedule pre-Rose wouldn't have to be changed that much. It was only an extra hour before and after classes.

Damien gave me a strange look as he waited for my acknowledgement. I said thanks, finally, and waited because it had been obvious all day that he had something on his mind. We were alone now, and our work for the day was almost done. I could take a few minutes now and hear it. I didn't have to wait long.

"So, why'd you do it?" Curiosity was heavy in question. And it was almost exactly the same question I'd asked Rose on the plane about 24 hours ago I realized.

"Do what?" I countered, even though I knew.

"Volunteer to work with Hathaway one on one? I mean, I get doing what you're told, and it makes sense for it to be you, what with your history and you being the Dragomir girls Guardian. If Hathaway gets it you'll be working together too, so it makes sense for Alberta to ask you to train her – but everyone's saying you volunteered. And that's just… suicidal. She drives everyone crazy. And she's not going to listen – because she never listens to anybody. You saw her arguing today with Stan. And that was nothing compared to the ones they usually have. "

"She'll try to run again. And even if she doesn't, she'll never get caught up in time to graduate. And that's nothing on you; _we_ all know that because we know her. But you know all this will be on your permanent record." His face was genuinely concerned now and his words were rushed as he came to his real point. "Hathaway will go off the rails again and_ you_ will be the Guardian on record responsible for her. She's a career killer Dimitri. She's going to bring you down."

He finished now, and waited, worry and tension plain on his features, hands defensively shoved into pockets like her was afraid of what my reaction was going to be.

"You're the third person today to talk to me like this about her," I observed, noncommittally. His brows furrowed. He waited for me to continue. I liked that about Damien. Most Guardians around each other were terrible gossips. My mother always said it was because we weren't allowed to be heard around our charges – seen, but not heard. So we tried to make up for it on our down time. I had a different theory. I believed that we acted like grown up high schoolers off the clock because we never had a real life of our own. We graduated and became whatever our charges needed of us for 4 months at a time. Our 6 weeks leave was all our time we got to grow up. So we never really did. We didn't get enough time.

I hadn't made much more than a minimal effort to get to know my co-workers off the clock for several reasons, but I did know all of them casually by now and Damien was one I genuinely did not mind talking to. He was earnest and meant well in everything he did. He might listen to gossip too much, but he didn't start it and he didn't spread it. It wasn't his oxygen like it was the others. So I decided to really talk to him – as best as I could bring myself to do it.

"I didn't volunteer exactly. Kurova wanted to expel her. I went through her files and records prior to our leaving for our mission to return them, and her record shows a lot of unfinished potential. And she loves Vasalissa – more than anything. She really will do anything to keep her safe. As the last Dragomir, that's exactly the dedication she has to have from her Guardians. And there is a real shortage of young, female Guardians. We really can't afford to throw the ones we have away. So I told Kurova she needed a tutor to get caught up. Kurova didn't think anyone would volunteer to do it, so I 'volunteered' so she wouldn't have an extra reason to expel her."

Damien had listened, fully taking it all in. "But, this is an impossible task Dimitri. I'm not sure even Alberta thinks it can be done. And she's Hathaway's strongest supporter."

I shrugged. "At home, we don't throw something out just because it's broken, until we've tried everything we can to fix it. So that's what I'm going to do." I wasn't sure where the comparison had come from just then, but as I said the words, they felt right. Just because the girl had a troubled history didn't mean she deserved everyone to treat her like a pariah the rest of her life. She was only 17. She could turn it all around. She deserved a shot at it, the same as anyone else.

"Fix it. Like a vacuum or something." Damien said voice dry.

I nodded slowly. "Or something."

Damien sighed. "It won't be easy you know. If it's possible at all. And there's not chance you'll come out of this without at least a few marks against your record. You know that."

I waited a minute, pondering what he said. My professional record was spotless – almost unheard of for us. My school record hadn't been, but with Ivan's help I'd gotten it together by graduation and kept it together. But he wasn't here anymore to help me. For me to lean on. To tell me truths I already knew in a way that I needed to hear for it to sink in. He wasn't here to talk to, joke with, be a confidant to or protect. His voice in my head wasn't really him. It was a slim, fuzzy replacement for the real Ivan. I had nothing now it seemed. A spotless record, memories of the past and bad dreams about past kills and the victims of those I'd killed, and great black hole in my chest that just kept growing and growing as time went on, not getting smaller like people always said it would.

But I did have his gift to me: my iron self-control that had been hard-won. My reason and sense of duty had always been my own, but they were fortified now into something much stronger with his gift. And for now, my duty was to Vasalissa, once she graduated, and in the meantime to Rose, until she graduated. I flashed back now to the two of us sitting on the plane.

'_Why did you do it?'_

'_Because I'm her Guardian. It's my job to protect her. And I __do__ my __job__.'_

I looked at Damien now, who was still waiting for an answer. I thought back on all the things people had said to me today, all the things I'd thought. I thought about the plane.

"None of us is spotless forever my friend. Reality catches up to us all eventually. And it's my duty. She needs training. She deserves training and a shot at graduating, however small. What she does with that chance…" I hesitated here, really wondering how this was all going to play out. 9 months seemed interminable now. "I'll do my job."

He looked doubtful as I finished, but a little less worried for me perhaps. "And it's that straight forward for you? That simple?"

'_Yes,'_ I thought. _'It really is that simple.'_

I knocked then entered Alberta's office and sat on the chair she indicated.

"Dimitri," she greeted, smile warm and friendly. "Did Rose get her first practice session in with you today?"

I nodded. "She tried to talk me out of it, but went along with it when I persisted. She's rusty now, but I think it won't be long before her natural talent starts showing itself."

Alberta nodded and leaned back in her chair fingers interlaced and a thoughtful look on her face. "I wanted to commend you on your handling of this morning's situation. That was a very tricky meeting and you really helped to provide a solution and smooth it all out. I appreciate your decorum."

I nodded in acceptance of her words, but I was slightly surprised. I'd expected a bit of a lecture about that but I was too tired to ask her anything. And I knew she wasn't done speaking so I just waited in silence.

"Rose is…a difficult child." Alberta finally said. "But your right about her potential. I've worked for a number of years to keep Rose off Kurova's radar, but –" she suddenly gave a wry smile. "But Rose tends to make that all but impossible." She paused, collecting her thoughts.

"Have you thought at all about what you're going to do with her?"

"I've thought about it a lot," I admitted. "But I'm still not entirely sure where to start. Everyone has been more than happy to give me their opinions on what's going to happen with her, but no one's really been very helpful with giving me advice. Except Guardian Alto. So I'm not really sure where to start. Do you have any suggestions?" I hoped she did. She clearly liked Rose and believed in her, and Alberta was very perceptive and very smart. If anyone could give me something useful for my situation it would be her.

"Yes," she said. "Find a way to make peace with her first. Rose tends to fight with anyone, about anything. And it usually works. None of the teachers here enjoy it or have a lot of patience for it, and all of them have experience teaching headstrong, hormonal teenagers – experience you don't have."

I nodded. This was a true statement.

"You're not telling me to befriend her." I asked now. I didn't think so, but I wanted to make sure. Alberta shook her head.

"No. Certainly not. But Rose figures out in a few days what buttons to push on everyone. And then she pushes them, just to see what happens."

"So, don't let her push?" I suggested. Alberta shook her head.

"She will, not matter what. And she's very good at it. Don't let anything _happen_ when she pushes. Don't react at all. She feeds off of that reaction she gets. So don't give her anything. Once you find a way to make a truce with her of sorts, where she stops pushing, you'll have a shot at getting her to listen. If she'll listen, she'll learn. And learn everything you throw at her." Alberta looked at me now, waiting to see if I understood what she was saying. I nodded slowly, thinking it over.

"And what for curriculum?" I asked now. Alberta shrugged.

"You were top in your classes at your school, and always performed admirably as a Guardian. Teach her what's been useful to you." She paused thinking about something and added, "And put some muscle on her. She's downright scrawny right now."

That was true enough also. I remembered how light she was, how easily I'd thrown her off without even meaning to.

"Thank you," I said now, and meant it. "Between you and Guardian Alto, I have some ideas now." She nodded.

"Good luck, Belikov. I won't lie. You've got your work cut out for you. Be patient with her, more than anything else. It's what she needs the most I think. What she's never really had from anyone before." Her expression turned grim now as she kept talking. "And, fair or not, you are responsible for her – during practice, and every other time. Anything else she does or tries – it goes back on you. So keep her on track." I nodded again at those words, my stomach churning a bit.

Alberta now turned her computer screen to face both of us. "Alright, now to the real business at hand. We have to adjust your schedule to accommodate those extra hours you signed up for." I found myself ridiculously glad that she hadn't said 'volunteered'.

An hour later we'd worked out a weekly plan that fit my training times with Rose and also the multiple patrolling schedules of the school. Alberta finalized the changes in the program and sent the new schedule out to everyone's phones. A few other Guardians schedules had also had to be revised, which we'd worked out through their ear pieces and her speaker in her office.

She sighed now and leaned back, stretching and yawning. Then she gave me a concerned look. "I know that's the best arrangement we could make and still be fair, but you won't have a lot of downtime anymore. And most of that will be spent sleeping."

I shrugged. "I can handle it."

She looked at me, serious. "I believe you can. But make sure you_ do_ take that time to take care of yourself. And if you ever need any help with Rose, my door is always open for you."

I smiled politely and told her I appreciated all of her help. Then I left.

She was right, my new schedule left limited free time, but that was fine. I missed Ivan the most when doing nothing. But right now, all I could think about was my bed and sleeping and never waking up. I'd been up for close to 72 hours now and I only had 7 to get some sleep before my next session with Rose. And with my schedule the way it was now, it would take me days to catch up on what I'd missed.

I convinced myself to take a quick shower – barely – before falling onto my bed and passing out. I didn't even bother turning off my lamp. And for once, my dreams were not filled with faces and voices of the past. I had no dreams at all.


	8. Chapter 8

When my alarm went off the next morning I felt much better. Not totally caught up on the missing hours of sleep but much closer to my usual, functional self and I wasn't dreading seeing Rose first thing quite as much as I'd thought I would the night before. I thought about what I should do with her while I showered and dressed and decided to follow Alberta's advice as far curriculum went and focus soley on conditioning for a while first. Her group classes would be covering the skills/drills side and that would improve the most once her strength, stamina and mental endurance improved. Also, I would ask her other teachers in a few weeks where she was the most lacking at and then we could spend our practice time working on just those areas. Right now she was so rusty everything would be sucking.

So I had her stretch and run laps around the track. Her flexibility definitely needed improvement, and stretching would help ease her muscles back into our hard training routines that our lives required of us. I sent a silent thank you to Galina for showing me the importance of stretching every day and maintaining optimal flexibility. She was no longer among us, but I still told her thank you from time to time, in honor of her memory. There had been numerous times I'd been spared severe injury by simply being fluid and flexible enough to avoid it.

Rose staggered out to the track stiff and wobbly from yesterday. She wore her own clothes now, a pair of sweat pants that had been turned into long shorts and an old t-shirt with the sleeves cut off so that her sports bra peeked through as she had raised her arms and leaned to the side with me. Because of the lack of pant legs and sleeves I could clearly see the faint purple and blue splotches that covered her arms and legs from all the hits she'd been unable to stop yesterday. They were so fresh still they hadn't even fully darkened. I'd expected and prepared myself for more complaining but it seemed that despite her day ending almost a full 4 hours sooner than mine had yesterday, she wasn't enough of a morning person to talk much yet. It was a full hour before breakfast even so it was pretty early. The most interaction I'd gotten from her apart from the groans and pops of her body as we'd loosened up was to return my 'Good morning" with a death glare that looked like it had some pretty creative energy behind it. I'd felt a small urge to smile at it. It was amusing to see such venom put into a look, when she barely was able to keep her eyes open and her mouth from yawning. Whatever torture she'd imagined a suitable punishment for my good manners, she clearly didn't have the energy to put it into action.

I started her out easy today with 2 miles, and no time limit. I'd give her a week to ease back in before I started pushing her to improve each time. I didn't bother telling her that this jog would actually make the rest of her day feel much better. I doubted she'd believe me and as long as she wasn't arguing or speaking to me, I didn't feel the need to waste my breath. I'd stood in the doorway of the gym, watching her jog around the track, her steps getting a little more loose and easy each time she went around. Then I showed her some more intense stretches, and ignored the muttered grumbles she made about them and sent her limping off to eat breakfast and get to her first class.

I also ate, then set out on my own mission. I had a full 3 hours before my shift today on the elementary wing of campus and I needed to put that time to good use. If Rose and I were going to make it to graduation, I needed to set my backup plans in place.

In future I planned to use this 3 hour gap to attend to my own personal training, but today I sought out several of the other Guardians that I felt a good rapport with starting with Damien, and explained what I needed. As I asked them to help me keep an eye on Rose and let me know if they saw or heard anything about her getting into stuff she shouldn't, I was mostly met with amusement. They agreed, but their faces clearly said 'Poor Belikov. He's already struggling.' That was fine. I wouldn't let their perceptions alter my plans. I'd agreed to this, and we would graduate in the spring if it killed us.

Damien was the only one not amused. He grimaced at my request but agreed instantly.

"If you think it will help, you know I will." He told me sincerely.

"I think I can't possibly be everywhere she is, and I don't have room in the arrangement to give her the benefit of the doubt," I said honestly.

"So, you're setting up spies," His eyes were a blend of incredulousness and repressed humor.

"I believe it's the best way. If you see or hear anything you think I ought to know about her or what's happening with her..just let me know. I can't handle what I don't see or hear."

He nodded, eyes scanning the milling student body in the hallway we stood in. "I can do that." He was on hallway patrol right now, making sure kids went where they should and didn't do what they shouldn't between classes. Then he would be walking he main buildings while classes went on. It was one of the easiest shifts. Alberta was doing her best to let those of us that went on the retrieval mission ease back in after sending us straight to work yesterday instead of to bed.

"Thanks." I looked him full in the eyes when I said it so he'd know I meant it. He nodded and we fist bumped, once, lightly, before going our separate ways. I had 5 more people on my list to ask.

I found my last one about an hour later standing in the back of Freshman Geography. I slid in a few minutes before class was scheduled to start. Sadowsky raised an eyebrow at me and greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, Belikov. What brings you here? I didn't think we were scheduled to work together today."

"We're not. I have a favor to ask you." I had to be curt; we didn't have long and I wouldn't have him get into trouble because of me. Sadowsky was one I didn't know as much as the others yet. He was a recent hire here, but I felt that he was a good man. He was also one of the youngest ones here and this meant he was still eager to please and enthusiastic about all his duties, even the ones the others dreaded. And I was pretty sure there was an element of hero worship n the mix towards me, judging from our last conversation. I felt confident that even though we barely knew each other that he'd be eager to keep his eyes and ears open for me.

He smiled now, hands behind his back like a Guardian at ease should be and rocked back on his heels. "Sure. Ask. If it's something I can do I will."

"I need help keeping an eye of Rose. I can't shadow her all day – I've got my own work I have to do. And there's zero tolerance in her probation from Kirova. I just need to know if you can keep a watch out, and tell me if you happen to see or hear anything you think I should know. If anything looks or sounds like she's planning to break the rules – or already is, so I can come in and do damage control."

He was nodding as I spoke, long before I finished. "Yeah. No problem Belikov. Anything I can do for you. Man, I can't wait to see what you can make of her. She's so lucky to have you as her personal trainer. I'd give anything to be in her shoes. I mean, I know the others all pretty much think you're gonna fail, but I don't. I've heard the stories of your other ops and how you plan for everything in them and what you've done. And now you're planning your training with her the same way? I admire you. You take everything so seriously and do it right the first time. Do you think some day when we're not on duty I could ask you –"

I had been growing a bit uneasy at all this praise from him and our time was almost up. I smiled a bit to soften my refusal but held up a hand to stop him talking. He instantly hushed.

"I appreciate what you're saying, very much. And thank you for agreeing to help me. But now I've got to go to my own shift, and leave you to work yours." I was relieved to have that excuse. His enthusiasm and praise had been a bit overwhelming.

He grinned broadly at me, his teeth gleamed super white and even. A little unusual for a Dhampire, even more unusual for a Guardian. We didn't typically have the time or money in our families to have the same sort of dental care as Moroi. Braces while you were training was a bad idea. I wondered briefly if he'd done it anyway, or if he was just simply on of the lucky people born with perfectly white, even teeth. "Yeah. I'll see you around man. Good talking to you," he said now.

I smiled back and nodded before slipping out the door just as the teacher called the class to attention. I checked my watch. I had an hour and half left before my shift started. I could still fit in a really solid weight lifting session and quick shower. I'd tracked everyone down and gotten yes' from them much faster than I'd anticipated. And a workout felt like just what I needed to finish boosting me out of my bad mood from yesterday. It would feel good to throw some weights around and get that adrenalin rush. I was halfway to the gym when my earbud broke my train of thought. It crackled for a second and then Alberta's voice was in my ear.

"Belikov. Come in."

"Guardian Petrov. I hear you. How can I help?" I paused on the sidewalk while I spoke, finger on the button. I took several seconds to look up at the stars. The best part about Montana was the stars. They weren't the same constellations as we had back home, but being in the middle of nowhere meant there was no pollution or a full cities worth of street lamps to dim the light they made at night. Looking up now, the sky was just as clear and bright as it was back in Baia. I could almost fool myself into thinking I was home. Then the earbud broke the moment.

"Headmistress Kirova would like to see you in her office." There was a slight pause. "Immediately."

I stopped looking at the stars and was now frowning at the ground. Alberta didn't sound upset, but I felt the pause in there was meant to warn me somehow, of something. And what could Kirova want? She rarely dealt with us. Alberta was the one in charge of the Guardians. Typically anything Kirova wanted from us she told to Alberta who then told whoever needed to know. It was very unusual for Kirova to talk to any of us specifically.

"Just me?" I finally replied, puzzled.

"Yes. The sooner the better." Again, her voice had a slight tone to it. Not like she was upset with me in anyway but like there was a small warning being given to me.

"Yes ma'am. I'll be there directly." I said now, sure my hesitancy had come across and instantly regretting it. I had done nothing wrong.

"Good. I'll let her know. Over and out." And the earbud went silent. I shook my head vaguely and changed course.

"Enter." Kirova's vice was overly formal I felt, especially since she was expecting me. But I ignored the brief burst of irritation and made sure my face was smooth before I went in. I closed the door securely, checking it to be sure. I wanted privacy for whatever was about to be said.

"You asked to see me, Headmistress." I told her, standing in front of her desk.

Kirova looked up from the papers she was glaring at. She gave me a sharp look and nodded. Then abruptly, she sat back and crossed her fingers, placing them on her desk. She pursed her lips and studied me, top to bottom. I felt the urge to shift under her gaze, to protest at the way she was eyeing me. I didn't. I remained statue still.

"You and Alberta arranged your hours with Ms. Hathaway?" She asked suddenly, her voice sharp.

"Yes. Last night." I waited, wondering where this was going.

"And you're still fulfilling all your other obligations as a Guardian here?" her words sounded slightly accusing now and her gaze was hard and unfriendly.

"Yes. We worked out a schedule last night that satisfied both agreements." I answered the question but was annoyed by her suggestion that I'd planned on using Rose as an excuse to slack. I forced myself to keep my voice pleasant and my face professionally blank.

"And sis she attend her practice times with you last night and this morning?" Kirova went on, her eyes not blinking.

"Yes," I was getting confused now. Was I really here for an hourly breakdown of my day?

"And what have you two started working on to get her… up to speed?" Kirova asked now. It was a simple enough question but the way she asked it said she didn't believe there was a real plan, or that I had any serious intention of fulfilling it if there were. And it made anger blaze up in my chest.

"We are spending the first few weeks on conditioning, since her group classes will be addressing combat, but not that. This way she starts working on both right away. Once her endurance improves a bit, and I can find out from her other teachers what her weakest areas are, we will start using our personal practices to work strictly on those areas."

I looked firmly at Kirova, not in the mood today to let myself be put down by someone who didn't have any real knowledge in this area of expertise. I had a feeling she wanted to try and dictate the direction and pace of these lessons and I wasn't going to allow that. Kirova wasn't a Guardian. She was a Moroi, which meant she'd never done any of the physical training that the Dhampires did. She knew nothing about what went in to it, and what was needed. She might know everything about running the school as a successful business, but she did not know what Dhapmires needed to become efficient Guardians. My gut resisted the idea of letting her have any say in how we got Rose ready. So I found myself unable to stop there and the next words came out sounding a bit harsher than I'd intended.

"I have already discussed this strategy with Guardian Petrov as she is the Head of the Guardians, and it was approved." I hoped I'd sounded polite when I said that but I really wasn't sure. Maybe I just sounded pissed off.

Kirova's flashing eyes at my words and hinted refusal to play her game told me that may have been the case. She leaned forward now, elbows resting on the desk.

"You will report to me here, and give me a detailed report of your progress – both with training her and her behavior – every other day. We have 9 months to make up for 2 years. I expect you to keep me informed on your progress of doing just that."

I was sure my surprise showed on my face as I answered. "With all due respect headmistress, why am I reporting this to you and not Guardian Petrov? Wouldn't she be the more reasonable choice of supervisor?" _'Because she actually knows about all this shit and you do not?' _I finished silently. I felt Ivan shake his head at me.

'_You always did have trouble going along with the system quietly.' _He said now.

Kirova was giving me a cold look. "I am in charge of this school. Ms. Hathaway is here – barely – on strict probation. I want to be told everything about her. She already has a history of not doing what she is told. So I want to know everything she is doing and I want you to report it to me, so I know you are doing your job properly. Or else I cannot justify the expense of one of my employees putting in so many extra hours each week with a single student. And a severely troubled one at that."

I felt shocked at what she'd just said. It had the appearance of reasonable, professional reasons, but it felt false. It felt personal. And it felt like an insult to me to have to report in every other day so she could verify I was indeed doing my job. Anger blazed inside me hotter than before, but I didn't let it show.

"As you wish, Headmistress," I said, feeling how stiff and foreign the words felt as they came out.

"Good." Kirova picked up her mug which smelled like a strong tea rather than coffee. She waved sharply at the door. "We're done for the day then, Guardian Belikov. I look forward to a more… thorough… report from you on Friday."

I bowed stiffly and forced myself to leave before I said anything more. I checked my watch again. I damn sure needed a good workout now. It was too late to get a full weight session in but I could still blow off some steam on the heavy bag for a good 20 minutes. I remembered the strange pause when Alberta had told me Kirova wanted to see me. She'd known what Kirova had wanted and she hadn't liked it either.

I sighed roughly and jogged to my room to change into sweats. It didn't matter if we didn't like it or not. That's how the world ran. The Moroi ran it. We were just second best underneath them, or so they told us. I grabbed my wrist wraps on the way back out. Hitting something as hard as I could a whole lot sounded like heaven right now, but I had no desire to have arthritis in my wrists before I turned 30 like so many of us did. Our bodies were tough, but our jobs were tougher. Guardians who didn't take basic safety precautions during training regretted it down the road.

I stared at the bag, letting the music I'd put on wash over me. 80s stuff was always so upbeat and positive. The stuff that came out nowadays was all depressing and angry. Nothing could quite get me going and motivated like the music I'd heard in our house growing up. Mama would sing along as she worked, and when I'd come back to visit last time and Vika was at school and my other 2 sisters were at work, I'd helped her out at the house with whatever needed to be done, and I'd sung right along with her.

Happy days. My last visit home had been years ago, but it was like no time had passed in that house. Mama had put me to work making the black bread I loved so much for us that week while she scrubbed every surface in our kitchen clean and Yeva had sat in her rocking chair doing some mending. It had been two years at that time since I'd last been home, but it felt like 2 minutes. Mama and I taking turns singing the verses of her favorite songs, the smell of bread and cleaning supplies. The feel of the wood floor under my feet. Mama's smile as we moved around each other in the kitchen – her to scrub the spotless table and me to put the bread in the oven. The afternoon sun streaming through the big kitchen window.

'_I loved your family,'_ Ivan said softly, a smile on his face too at the old memory.

'_They loved you also,'_ I answered.

'_They only met me once,'_ he laughed.

I shook my head. _'It doesn't matter. They knew I loved you.'_

'_I hope you get to see them soon Dimitri._' He told me now, voice serious. _'Time goes by so fast, and then suddenly it's over. Make sure it's not too long before you go back.'_

I started to hit the heavy bag now, several times, loosening up. Single shots. Half speed. I rocked on my feet, watching the bag swing, timing my next hits. But it was all in the background. My body ran on autopilot, warming up and hitting harder. Combination, different angles, circling the bag, adding knees and kicks to the mix. My breathing timed to match each hit.

In the background, I knew I was getting a good workout. But my mind was on the music playing, and the old memories it invoked. Ivan was silent, watching my memories with me like we were in a private movie theatre. We both watched them play out, enjoying the peace that came with them. Peace that was hard to come by now, and had been for a long time.

I sighed as my stopwatch beeped frantically, letting me know my time was up and I had to go shower and change and go to work. I watched the last memory as it faded; my mama teaching me to waltz in our living room. I'd been 7, maybe 8, and stood with my feet on hers as she moved us around, letting me feel the steps. The memory faded completely and I grew angry as I remembered what came next, that that particular night had been the last time we had ever done that.

My dad had come home that evening, and in the actions that followed his arrival, my mama's ankle had been broken. She couldn't support my weight on her feet after that, even once it healed. And after I'd said no when she asked me to dance with her the usual way, with both of us on our own feet, she'd never asked me again.

I felt my limbs blitz now, hitting the bag over and over, as fast as I could, channeling my anger over those last bittersweet memories into it. I hit until I no longer saw my dad's face or my mother's limp as her ankle healed. And then I stopped, grabbing the bag and resting my forehead on it, panting.

'_I never knew you could waltz.'_ Ivan looked over at me, arms crossed_. 'How come, with all the formal events we went to, that never came up?'_

'_Because I don't waltz anymore,'_ I growled. _'I don't want to remember.'_

'_But that was a happy memory!'_ he protested. '_I know you enjoyed it. I was right here watching you.'_

'_I remember after that night too.'_ I closed my eyes, not wanting to see him but still talking_. 'She was different after that. That beating… it changed things. It changed her. Before that, he never really hurt her. Just pushed her around, yelling at her… bit her. But after that, she kept having things broken. That night, everything changed for the worse.'_

'_I'm sorry.'_ He was quiet now and sounded sad.

I shrugged_. 'Me too. I'm sorry it ever happened. I'm sorry it took so long for me to stop it.'_

We were both quiet after that. Eventually he said, _'You better run if you want that shower.'_

I opened my eyes and stood up, releasing the bag from my hold. I grabbed my things and hurried to the shower. I made a mental note to write them all a letter a tonight. It had been too many months.


	9. Chapter 9

It was after the weight training session with rose – arms tonight – and I was on my way to my room to shower and maybe read for a little bit before sleep when Sadowsky slid into step beside me.

"Belikov." He greeted me cheerily.

"Sadowsky. Off for the night?" My mood wasn't as black anymore as it had been after Kirova and I found myself not resenting this unexpected conversation like I would have earlier in the day.

"Yeah. Some of us are going to the Guardians Lounge to chill for a bit. Play some darts, have a few beers. You wanna join?"

"Thank you. But no. It's been a long day and I need to catch up on some of the sleep I missed getting Rose and Vasalissa here. Another night though." I didn't mind him talking to me, but I knew I wasn't in the mood to be social, or pretend I was, tonight. I remembered telling myself I needed to write a letter to my family. Maybe I would do that instead of read.

He took my refusal easily, thank God and nodded. He started to tell me today's guardian gossip, something about someone who heard some things that were happening at court, but I was mostly tuned out as we walked. My attention came back however when he said a name I actually recognized.

"and Mikhail had an official order sent out that he has to come back and take the assignment within 3 weeks or-"

"Mikhail Tanner?" I interrupted. It wasn't a common name but it was possible it was not the same one who had graduated from here last year. Sadowsky nodded.

"He's still convinced he can find her and kill her. It's been several months. I'm surprised the council let him go this long before passing out a direct order. He refused a couple pretty good offers right after graduation, even in spite of what happened you know."

We'd come to a stop now, under a massive tree that overshadowed the walkway. I turned to look at him now, and my words were grim. "So he hasn't had any luck then."

"No." Sadowsky sounded less upbeat than before as well. "It's a crazy mission. I mean, how do you even look for one? It's not like they have bank accounts you can track. They just disappear."

"They do," I said softly, thinking back to my own memories now for a split second. Then I thought of Mikhail. It was a sad situation. He'd been in trouble after it had been discovered he'd had an inappropriate relationship with one of the teachers here, Sonya Karp, and had barely escaped expulsion. But by the time it had been discovered, Sonya had already gone crazy and turned Strigoi and left. No one had seen her since. Well, that we knew of. Presumably some people had seen her, somewhere, but not lived to tell about it. Mikhail had gone crazy himself when he heard, which was how the relationship had been discovered in the first place. In the end, since she was gone and he only had a few months left, they'd allowed him to stay and graduate. And apparently he'd gotten a few offers, even after the news of the relationship, and the end of it, had broken. But a week after he'd gotten his Promise Mark he'd packed a bag and left, leaving a note saying he was going to fine her and put her out of her misery. He'd disappeared, and I'd forgotten about him. I'd barely had time to learn his name when I'd first come here before he was gone.

"How did they contact him?" I asked now, surprised and curious as the thought occurred to me. "They know where he is?"

"Yeah. Well, he came back for 2 months because he ran out of money. And I guess he found someone sympathetic to give him more, because 2 months after starting as a guardian for one of the lower ranked Contas, he told them he had a lead and he had to follow it. So he gave notice. The council heard and told him he had three weeks to take care of it for good, or they'd denounce him if he wasn't back and ready to do his duty. That it was time to move on."

Our gazes met, both of us serious now. Being denounced by the council ended your career. You could never be hired as an official Guardian again. The only option left to you were free-lance mercenaries or personal body guards hired by individuals, unless you got a royal pardon, and those almost never happened.

"I hope he listens. If he doesn't – even if he succeeds in finding her and staking her – his life is over. And he's only 19." I said slowly.

"Who knows? He said he would come back in time, but." Sadowsky shrugged. I shook my head sadly. I really hoped he returned. He'd been talented from what I could remember, and carving out a survival as a free-lance Guardian was hard, almost impossible. And now it was on his record that he quit a job 2 months in. Not good. He'd been a nice kid. And while I could understand wanting to do the one you loved justice in that situation… I also knew that eventually you had to stop. Eventually you had to find a way to move forward with the rest of your life.

'_If that had been me?'_ Ivan asked me now_. 'If I had been turned Strigoi? How long would you have searched for me? What would you have been willing to do?'_

I hated him for asking me that. I also hated that I didn't feel completely confident in my answer._ 'I don't know, Ivan. I want to say forever. That I would have looked for you for years, if need be. But I don't think I would have. I still have a duty. There's Moroi out there who are alive who need protecting still. I didn't want to come here after your death. But I have a duty. But I don't know. Maybe it would have been different if you'd turned, instead of being laid to rest in the ground.'_

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," Sadowsky's youth and easy personality wouldn't let him stay somber for long before returning to its usual demeanor. "Rumor has it that Jesse Zeklos has his eye on your girl."

"She's not my girl," I found myself automatically protesting, much as I would with Ivan, and instantly felt foolish even as I said it. He hadn't meant it literally so there'd been no reason to get defensive over a figure of speech. Then the name sank in. Fuck. "Jesse Zeklos? Are you sure?"

'_One of my kinsmen,'_ Ivan commented lightly.

'_Believe me, he's nothing like you were.'_

'_Most of us aren't. I was always a bit of the black sheep of our family.'_ He was unbothered by this statement. He'd never been much bothered by how different he was from the rest of the people in his family. I'd been jealous of that absolute certainty and confidence he had even as children in who he was. Later I'd grown up and admired him fiercely for it.

"Sadowsky nodded. "Positive. It wasn't just me who noticed. He seemed to pretty much follow her around all day trying to talk to her. Several of the other Guardians saw him checking her out and were talking about it."

I fought back a groan. Jesse had a well-earned reputation almost as bad as Roses'. The difference being that while Roses' record was all over the place in terms of what she was in trouble for, Jesses' was very streamlined. He liked girls, and he liked them with their clothes off. He seemed incapable of keeping his hands off them, or his clothes on his body. And now he was pursuing Rose. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Any rendezvous been set up?" I asked the next obvious question, dreading the answer. Best case scenario here, Sadowsky wouldn't know. And that was best case scenario.

"Well, I happened to be in the classroom with them earlier and I did hear him tell her about a get together in the woods tonight at 8:30."

I sighed in relief. At 8:30 Rose had been with me, lifting weights and muttering about how getting shot would feel better. "She didn't go." I stated, my relief probably obvious.

"Yeah, when he asked her to go she said she would be with her Russian jailor." He was laughing now as he said this. I felt a strange twinge when he'd said that. It felt like.. happiness? Or pride? It was weird. But I felt a smile creep onto my face despite my analyzing.

"And she was."

"It gets better." Sadowsky grinned hugely, anticipating the next piece of news he had to share. The rising sun hit his extremely white teeth making them sparkle. "Zeklos asked if she could get off for good behavior." My smile had dropped now and I knew, just knew I wouldn't like whatever came next. "And Hathaway says, 'Sure. If I was ever good.' " He laughed loudly now like he'd told the funniest joke in the world. I felt a cold chill sweep over me.

'_This girl will kill me, Ivan, one way or another,'_ I said through gritted teeth. Ivan didn't bother to reply; he just chuckled at me. Sadistic bastard.

"Well, thank you for the heads up, Sadowsky. I'll keep an eye on Zeklos." I hoped he'd take the hint and leave now. I was suddenly very ready to be alone. He did.

"No problem. Let me know if you change your mind about hanging out tonight. And I'll save you a beer."

"Sure thing." We waved and I stomped off to my room, the storm cloud from earlier back in full force. I'd write the letter tomorrow. Tonight, I would read for a few minutes and then sleep. At least there I had some peace and quiet, Rose free.

My dreams that night might have Rose free, but they were far from pleasant or restful. In them, Ivan and I were back in that hotel, surrounded by Strigoi. In reality we'd been children still, only 15, and there'd only been 2 of them. But in the dream we were 24 and 25, our real ages, and there seemed to be 30 or 40 of them. I spent my sleep slashing and killing and being drenched in their blood. Then I turned to kill the last one, and it was Ivan, all red eyes and chalk white skin and a cruel smile that had never touched his lips in real life. He raised a clawed hand to me, beckoning me to get closer.

'_You can't save me, Belikov. You can't save anyone. Look what you let happen to me.'_

In the back of my head, I knew this had to be a dream. Strigoi didn't turn instantly. It took a day or so, and even then the first few days they were confused and uncoordinated. He couldn't have been turned in this battle and already be moving like he was 100 years old. But it didn't matter what rationalities my brain spouted out at me. My heart lurched and cried out at this horrible sight. This evil figure wearing the face of someone I'd loved so dearly. Someone it had been my job to keep safe, to make sure this _never _came to pass. He seemed to read my mind.

'You failed, Belikov. Because you're not a real Guardian. Because your weak. Now I'm going to turn you. I'm going to make you just like me.'

I tried to run away, the only thought that was even slightly coherent in my head, but my feet were frozen and wouldn't move. My stake seemed to have disappeared somewhere, as had all the bodies I'd already killed. I looked down and saw myself covered head to toe in blood. I stared at Ivan walking closer and tried to speak, to scream, even just to breath, but I couldn't. It was like I was suddenly turned to stone.

'_You like that? All that blood on your hands? That's what you are, Belikov. You've always been a sadistic person. That's why I'm going to turn you. You were made to be one of us. You'll be perfect. And I will watch you drain the life from everyone we come across. It will be just like it was meant to be. A perfect killing machine and I will be the one who turned you.'_

I strangled a cry as I stared again at my blood covered hands. I looked down and the bodies were back. But they weren't the Strigoi bodies I'd spent hours killing. They were the bodies of those victims I'd seen over the years. All the victims I'd ever seen from Strigoi kills. They're dead, fogged eyes stared up at me from their unnatural positions on the floor. Some of them, I'd known their names. Most I hadn't. The blood from my fingers dripped down and landed on the face of a young blond girl, barely a teenager. I remembered her. That day had been very bloody. And now the blood from my hand had dripped onto her face, her dead white face, like it was me who had killed her.

'_You will._' Ivan told me now, and the certainty in his voice was terrible. Like hearing the future being written_. 'You will kill so many and you won't care. Your hands will be covered in the blood of your food. You're going to love killing women the most. They taste the sweetest.'_

I stared into his red eyes and wanted to die. Suddenly he lunged at me, mouth open, fangs out.

I sat up in bed covered in a cold sweat, my heart beating out of my chest in panic. _'IVAN!'_

'_I'm here old friend. It's just the dreams again. I'm not a Strigoi. I never was.'_

''It felt so real…" I whispered out loud, burying my face in my hands.

'_I'm here. I'm here with you. You're not alone.'_ He said, voice soft. He didn't know what else to say. I didn't either. The dreams came back regularly. Bits and pieces of my worst memories added into my nightmares, just enough to make it hard to tell real from not, even after I woke up.

'_I'm sorry,'_ I said again, face still in my hands. I couldn't look up. I didn't want to see him. _'I'm so, so sorry.'_ He said nothing. He knew I was apologizing for not being there. For letting him be killed. I'd apologized many times before.

After several long moments of neither of us speaking, I sighed, and checked the time. My alarm would go off in under an hour. I had no desire to go back to sleep. The dreams waited there. Instead I washed my face and dressed for the gym. I could sneak in a quick weight workout before I had Rose again. The dreams wouldn't follow me there.


	10. Chapter 10

"Dear Mama, Yeva, Sonya, Karolina, Victoria and Paul,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. I miss you all very much. I thought it would be hard leaving Russia to come here, but I didn't know how much. I think often of all the things I took for granted: our home and the routines in it. Mama's singing. Sonya's cooking. Karolina's smiles. Pauls' games. Yeva's understanding. Victoria's teasing. But I even miss the land itself. It's so different from where I'm at now. I miss our mountains and our stars. I miss the smell of our flowers and our little town where everyone is so neighborly and thoughtful and no one is in a rush. I miss the food, the language the quiet. I know Vika in particular can't wait to leave some of those things, but tell her she doesn't know how good she's got it. How easy it is to take all those things, and seeing and talking to all of you for granted when it's there every day. I miss it; I miss my family and I love you all very much.

I'm in Montana now. It's one of the 50 states in America. Will someone help Paul find it on the globe? I want him to know where I am. I am currently employed at a school here – St. Vladimir's Academy – both to guard the school and as a personal Guardian to Vasalissa Dragomir once she graduates in the spring.

I don't know yet where we will go after that, but it you all want to write me while I'm here, I would love it very much. Work is good. I get along with many of the other Guardians here and its important work. Like you always said Mama, 'our children are our future', and I'm protecting our future. Keeping it safe. Also, mama, because I know you worry, this is a safe place. We have many Guardians here and are inside wards, so you do not need to worry about my safety at this job. Even though I know you will anyway.

In your last letters, you all asked about when I could come home and visit… I still don't know the answer. To be honest, I should have spent my leave after the funeral with you all, but I couldn't. I felt like I needed to be alone to get better. Now I don't know when I'll have my next chance. Certainly not before graduation. And I don't know yet what will happen after, where Vasalissa will go.

Keep thinking of me, and tell me about how all of you are. I can't wait to hear it. I love you all. And Vika, stay in school. Don't get into trouble because I can't be there anymore to look out for you. Sonya and Karolina, don't let her make too many stupid mistakes while she's growing up. Tell Paul I miss him and when I do visit we will do anything he wants to do.

And Yeva, I miss our talks. I miss hearing what you have to say. When I do visit, I won't really feel at home until I've heard you chastise and berate me for whatever I've done that you don't approve of. I'm sure you'll think of many to choose from.

And Mama. I can't express how much I miss you. The first thing I will do whenever I come is hug you as hard as I can. I'm proud of you. You are my inspiration every day to be strong and do my best. I hope one day I find a woman half as special as you to love and care for. If I do I will be truly blessed.

Stay safe and think of me often. I'm always thinking of you.

Love Dimitri

I sat at my desk the following morning in my 3 hour break after working with Rose, well, sending her to run laps. I wrote carefully, making sure my writing was the best I could do. I knew the girls all put a lot of opinion on handwriting. Too sloppy and they felt you rushed and did not care. If you cared about what you were saying you wrote neatly they said.

I had smiled the whole time at being able to write to someone in my native tongue again. The reports I did every week were all in English and I rarely kept up with my journal, the only other place I could write in Russian. I had thought once that it would feel strange and rusty when it was so rarely something I got to do, and I had used it even less after Ivan died. Our silent conversations were in Russian, the language we'd primarily use in life, but I hadn't written it in almost 6 months. Still, it didn't feel strange or rusty; it felt like coming home.

I'd also been careful to include everybody, although I knew it would probably only be Mama and Victoria who wrote me back. Karolina might add a paragraph or two to the bottom of mama's but that would be it. Still though, I tried not to have favorites.

Once I was done I contemplated reading it again to double check before I mailed, but I was running late now. They'd figure out what I meant if I'd written something poorly. I folded it up, addressed it and stuck in in my coat pocket to give to Alberta to mail for me.

'_You're about to be late for your meeting with Kirova.'_

'_Shit.'_ I touched my pocket again, just to be sure the envelope was in there, and ran out.

"So tell me about how Ms. Hathaway has spent her last two days." Kirova was looking at me steadily, seeming less angry and impatient than she had two days ago. I stood in front of her desk again.

"She's been to all her classes, on time, and come to all of our sessions. We are building up her strength and endurance with those while her other teachers get her grounded on the necessary skills again before we refine them." I answered her question, trying not to be irritated. It was a redundant meeting. I'd said much the same thing last time. And I was sure in 2 days' time it would still be the same answer.

Kirova nodded but I suddenly felt she was too calm. Her next words therefore only came as a slight surprise. "I have reports of her back talking, to both you and Guardian Alto during classes. Can you explain that to me?"

I started to frown and stopped myself. "She and guardian Alto got into a discussion of methods yesterday."

"A discussion? I wasn't aware his class was a discussion class." Her words were sharp now, seeking, like a shark sensing fresh blood in the water. First blood, I thought.

"It was resolved quickly. Ms. Hathaway had her questions answered in more detail and that was the end of it." Actually, the argument had been amusing for the Guardians in the class that day to watch. She had been nit-picking his words for presumably no other reason than because it irritated him and she was bored, but Alto had kept his calm and reiterated his point in words a 5 year old could have followed, and no one raised their voices. I only knew about it all because Stan had mentioned it to me last night during our sparring session and I'd tracked down Stevens to ask more details.

Kirova sniffed. "And her arguing with you? Would you say she has been defiant of your authority?"

What? Where was this coming from? This one was a double edged sword, accusing Rose of acting out and me of not being able to handle it. Still, I stayed calm, at least on the outside. Inside I was starting to boil. "No. She has done everything I've asked of her, completely." And then, because I couldn't stop myself, I added, "I wasn't aware grumbling was against the guidelines you laid out for her probation."

I wasn't wrong to add that in there, I felt. Everyone complained a little bit, it would be insane to expect otherwise. And she would be fair to Rose with this; I would make sure of it. And if I was honest with myself, Rose had complained and argued much less than many of the other students in the group classes I oversaw, and she was doing more than they were. I couldn't imagine how much all this had to be hurting her still after such a long absence in training, but she wasn't slowing down, and after our first night practice, she hadn't asked me to let her take a class off. Grumbling seemed like more than a fair compromise to get her to do what I wanted. Alberta had been right about finding a way to make peace with her and not let her get a rise out of me.

"You're saying it's acceptable for students to say whatever they want to their teachers?" Kirova shot at me now. "When they are supposed to be learning discipline and the control to hold their tongues?" Her eyes had an odd hard gleam in them now. I wondered what had happened for her to be so personally offended by Rose. It just didn't make sense with the facts as I understood them and the undercurrent of venom she always seemed to have her for Rose. Another mystery to work on another day.

"No, headmistress." I said instead. "I'm asking if grumbling about aches and pains is grounds for expulsion from this school. If it is, I suggest you make sure the student body is informed of this, as well as the other Guardians. I'm not sure they know."

'_Someone's in a feisty mood this morning._' Ivan commented amusement mingled with pride in his eyes. He'd always enjoyed it when I stood up against the double standards our society imposed.

Kirova gave me a hard look. "That sounded like an order Guardian Belikov, but surely I am mistaken?" I had better be, was her suggested tone.

"No, Headmistress. Just an observation. I just don't believe your policy is known by the rest of the student body and the schools employees." I kept my voice and face impassive, no emotion. She was scraping for excuses now and we both knew it.

"So you believe you are doing everything possible to bring her to heel then?" She fired back at me, her voice clearly stating that she disagreed with that belief.

'_Bring her to heel. Like some dog,'_ I thought bitterly. "Rose has broken none of your rules for her continued stay here. She has also completed every task anyone has set before her, including the extra ones with me that the other seniors are not responsible for completing as well."

I was trying, really trying, to keep calm and not sound as outraged as I felt. Some of the outrage was because of her determination to find fault, any fault, to use against Rose. It was unfair and unprofessional. But most of this outrage was against the general attitude she displayed towards Dhampires as a whole which was indicative of how were thought of in our society. Vasalissa was not being threatened with any sort of punishment over their 2 year escapade. It all fell on the Dhampire girl. And I doubted very much that there would have been fair treatment even if the Moroi had not been royal and the Dhampire not been Rose.

It was a broken system, one that had existed so long without changing that now even though there were groups of royals and high ranking Guardians pushing for a reform nothing was changing. Too many didn't want the system changed because it was unfair in their favor. Many more just didn't care enough either way. And both groups outnumbered the ones who did care and want change, and outranked them.

So as mad as I was at Kirova for her vendetta against Rose, most of my displeasure was aimed at a much larger scale. I had to keep myself from letting it bleed over onto this situation I was currently entrenched in. they were two separate wrongs being done, not one, and I had to remember that. Kirova looked as pissed off as I felt but she didn't have anything to fight against me with and dismissed me, reminding me to come back in 2 more days and report our progress all over again.

The rest of the week went smoothly enough. Rose showed up to our sessions and we established a routine of cranky silence for our morning one and a lively, creative banter for our evening one. My own body and sleep patterns had finished adjusting to the new schedule I was keeping and the following meeting with Kirova had been of the same sort of attitude as the previous two.

This time she caught me fully by surprise by bringing up the constant reports of flirting with the male students that I'd also been hearing. It wasn't so much a surprise that she knew it was happening, because, Guardians like to talk, but it was a surprise some of the details she knew about the incidents. And it was then I realized she also had people watching Rose and reporting to her the same way I did. This had been upsetting to realize because it made the chance of covering up any slip Rose might make unlikely, but I had the tentative hope that so far she had behaved and_ might_ just continue to do so.

Kirova had also mentioned Rose asked her for permission to go to church on Sundays, which seemed at least to be an equal surprise to both Kirova and myself. But while she clearly expected Rose to disrupt services, I thought it more likely she wanted to escape from being only in her room, classroom or cafeteria. Also, I knew Vasalissa would be there. Overall, I felt I'd been the one to leave that meeting more informed.

But now it was finally Sunday, and it was the first full 24 hours without work I'd had in almost three weeks, since my last day off had been scheduled during our retrieval of the two girls. I intended to make the most of it. Apart from one 40 minute session with Stan, and the heavy bag and unsatisfyingly short weight session earlier this week, I hadn't gotten anything for my personal training in. I planned to do it all today. Stan, Yuri, Damien and I had planned to get together for a fun sparring session an hour after church was over today, and who knew how long that would go for before we got tired of it. And then I would see what felt good for a workout today, and take as long as I wanted. And then I might read one of my books, uninterrupted, for hours this evening before falling asleep whenever I felt like it, instead of when I was allowed to. So even though my dreams had been invaded by death again last night, I felt calm as I lay in bed, thinking through my outlined plan for the day.

It was a few hours later when I saw Vasalissa and Rose enter the church with a few of their classmates. Natalie was in tow, along with the puppy-eyed red head Mason. I watched silently from my pew on the far side, set right against one of the many pillars and as secluded as possible from the hundreds of others here today for the service as it was possible to get.

Rose seemed glad to be with her friends, but sunk back in a bored stupor as soon as the service began. After watching for a few minutes I saw nothing to suggest she was planning a rebellion or causing a scene like Kirova had suggested. So I sat back as well and let the priest's words flow over and around me but gave them no real thought. Some days I came here to hear the message. Other times I simply needed the routine and quiet place to think, to try and channel my spinning thoughts and slow them down and tame them. Today was the second.

I let my mind drift off on its own accord as the service continued, Ivan of course coming along for the ride. First I simply reviewed the main points of interest from the week, then thought about my letter and imagined them getting it soon. I could clearly see Mama calling all of them into the living room to hear her read it out loud, the girls crowding around her on the couch, Paul in Sonya's arms, Yeva in her rocking chair. She'd be preparing to comment first on something I'd written. She was the queen hen in our house and liked to remind us of this frequently by getting in the first word or comment on any piece of news that came to us about anything.

I imagined I was there, watching their faces. Seeing them laugh or cry or tease me. I tried to imagine what was going on their lives right now but I couldn't. It had been too long since I'd last heard from them, since they'd last had an address to write me back at. Ivan and I had traveled a lot the last 2 years I was with him, for the politics he was stuck being involved with. I'd had a new address every few months. And after the funeral, I'd been in limbo for a bit, just traveling around for several weeks until I'd been assigned here. And then with settling in and then hearing about Vasalissa and getting that assignment, it had been so long since I'd written to them, since they could write to me, I had no way of knowing what was happening in their lives anymore, or if they were even ok until they wrote back to me. It would most likely take a couple weeks for them to get mine and for me to get theirs. I thought about how those few weeks seemed like forever now, and I was deeply disappointed in myself for having let this go so long.

I hadn't ever really felt homesick before either, I realized now. But it was definitely something I'd been feeling these last few months. Before, I'd always been glad to hear from them and I'd loved my last visit home before of course, but I'd never longed for the familiar smells and sights and interactions the way I did now. I wondered why that was, what had caused the change.

'_Me.'_ Ivan answered. '_Before, at school, after, you had me. Now you only have them.'_

The pit in my stomach opened up and it felt as though my heart had dropped right through to the bottom of it. He was right, damn him. Ivan had been my brother in all ways but blood, so in a very real sense I'd never truly lived without family before now. I'd never truly been alone this long.

'_You need to be making new friendships now, new family.' _He said gently. _'You can't mourn over me for forever.'_

'_I don't want to make new ones,' _I told him stubbornly_. 'I haven't found anyone worthy enough for that.'_

'_Well, that's a little biggest of you.'_ He replied, partially amused, and partially reprimanding. I sighed. _'What about the other Guardians here? 53 of them, surely you can find a few worth talking to just for fun.'_ He suggested now.

'_Sure. But none that I feel comfortable getting close to,'_ I replied. '_I have several that I like to train with, you know that. But it's…not the same.'_

'_Because that's not the sort of bonding that you're missing._' He told me firmly. _'It's important, yes, but if you want the hole to go away you have to fill it with new relationships. Ones that involve talking about topics that matter to you and aren't about work.'_

'_I can't ever replace you Ivan. Don't even think about asking me to do that!'_ I responded hotly. His words had hurt.

'_Not like that,'_ he soothed_. 'But maybe, instead of looking or similar dirt to fill the hole with, you should try looking for... I don't know, a tree or a flower to plant in it, and let it grow.'_

I rolled my eyes as he dragged out the metaphor to the extreme, but when he said flower, my eyes landed on Rose and I stopped them there, watching her. The candles in here always gave the church a warm and friendly atmosphere, but now I found myself admiring how the flickering lights caught on the waves and curls cascading from her head and my eyes drawn down the full length of it as it draped over the back of her pew. Dark, dark brown waves but in this light it seemed to be highlighted with all the colors of the rainbow, for milliseconds at a time.

I stared, entranced. She'd started to put her hair into a thick, wonderful pony tail during our sessions a few days ago and I suddenly realized with a painful start that I missed seeing it down. I thought back suddenly to two days ago when she'd pulled a hair band from her wrist and started battling with it to put it up and pull it through. It was our morning session and she was grumpy as usual.

She'd glared at me as she caught me watching amused at the battle of wills before me; her wanting her hair up and her hair wanting to remain free.

'What?' she'd snapped.

'Nothing. I just didn't know what an effort it took to put it up. But I probably should have.'

She'd looked at me suspiciously, grunting a bit with the effort of pulling it through the band one last time. 'Why?'

'Because it's a part of you,' I grinned, the first time I'd let it show to her. She'd instantly scowled.

'What are you trying to say exactly? That it has a great body? Or maybe that it's too wonderful to be forced to do things against its' will?' She was referring to the running of course. She'd finally succeeded and now had crossed her arms and looked up at me; one hip shot out and was waiting for my answer. I shook my head a bit, fully amused by her.

'No. Because it's full of attitude. And stubborn as hell.'

Her scowl had dropped and a curious expression replaced it. I struggled to put a name to it. It was almost.. approval? Did she like what I'd said? I hadn't really intended it to be a compliment. Then her scowl returned.

'Then you should know better than to make either of us run.'

I shook my head and pointed to the door. '3 miles today.'

'What the fuck Dimitri?' She moaned. My smile left my face now, even though secretly I was still amused. I was getting used to her frequent bad language and wasn't as offended by it anymore. I had a bad habit of swearing as well, just in Russian, as Ivan had kindly pointed out the other day. I also didn't always say it out loud. I pointed again.

'Out. Now. Run.'

She'd left grumbling and she turned I saw the smooth skin of her neck, now bare. Where the bite had been was fully healed and I suddenly realized why it had been three days before she pulled her hair up. She'd gotten so good at causally covering the bite marks that I hadn't thought anything of it, not even to suggest she might be cooler if she wore it up, until she'd done it herself. She'd had 2 years of practice after all. I was so startled by the revelation that I was still staring at her neck when she turned once more, probably to whine again. Seeing where I had my gaze firmly set, she stiffened and looked startled for a mere moment, before coolly turning back to walk up to me, holding my gaze unwaveringly. She stopped only inches away from me and turned around, using a hand to move her ponytail out of the way. She'd caught me out, and was now calling me on it. She looked over her shoulder at me before demanding, 'See something interesting there?'

I decided to go with it. No point in pretending I hadn't been doing exactly what I was doing. And we never had talked about it. 'I was seeing if your time on the run had left you with any sort of scars.' I answered, knowing she knew exactly what kind of scars I was referring to although neither one of us wanted to come right out and say it.

'See for yourself.' She said coldly. And waited for me to bend over and look closer, on both sides, just to be sure. When I stood up again she tilted her head back and looked at me, both angry and proud. Then she turned around, dropping her hair and hitting my arm with it as she faced me. The smell of her shampoo suddenly invaded my nose and it was wonderful.

'Well?' she asked now. We stared at each other for several long seconds. It almost felt like we were talking without words, except I wasn't sure what we were saying. But I didn't want to stop talking.

'No scars,' I finally said and stepped away from her to get some space and some clarity to my thoughts. I had gestured to the mats and we started to do our cool down stretches.

'Thank God for that,' she said suddenly sounding cross and annoyed with me.

'Yes. Thank God.' I had said evenly, and she stopped and looked at me for another moment. We both knew what would have happened if any of those bites had left scars. She swallowed hard and attempted a joke.

'I told Stan it wasn't that dangerous.'

I had bit back the very long winded reply I had on the tip of my tongue to that and we had stretched in silence until time for her to leave.

Ivan called me back to the present_. 'She could be a flower,'_ He observed_. 'You think highly of her.'_

I looked ahead now, mulling over his words. It was true, I did have a high opinion of Rose, or of who Rose was growing up to be. But right now, she was just a kid_... 'Not as an equal Ivan. She's only 17. She's still so young. And I'm responsible for helping her grow up. That's not the same sort of level connection you and I had.'_

'_Maybe it will be in time. The potential is there. The Pull. I felt pulled to you when we first met, remember? I told you. It was why I decided to start talking to you. I saw you in class and I felt pulled to you. Like you were going to be important in my life.'_

I was uneasy with this but I nodded at him_. 'I remember. I said I felt it to.'_ It was true, I had.

'_So does she,'_ he said simply now, nodding his head towards where Rose was sitting.

I said nothing to this, and neither did he. We passed the rest of the service in silence.


	11. Chapter 11

Service had ended and I had found myself not rushing to get out before the crowd. I had to meet up with Yuri, Damien and Stan in an hour, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I was watching Rose. I tried to tell myself I was watching her to make sure she left the church without causing a scene of any sort, but that wasn't really it. I was watching her because I wanted to. And that was dangerous.

But it seemed justified when only a minute or so after the service she was leaving Vasalissa and her friends and shoving her way determinedly to the front. I swallowed hard, and stood up next to the pillar, waiting to see what she was up to. This didn't look good. I silently thanked the Gods for making me so tall. Most of the time it was a bit of a bother and inconvenience – even our SUVs could feel a little too snug if I didn't put the seat all the way back before getting in – but there were times where it came in handy. When I was guarding Ivan it had always helped to be able to scan over the crowd. It helped now too. I saw her catch the priests attention and the two exchanged several sentences.

They were too far for me to hear, so I watched Father Mathews face as they talked. He started out looking surprised, then moved into annoyance and I almost made my move to come up there and haul her back to her room right then and there, but then his face turned thoughtful. And after a minute he walked away. Rose stood there looking uncomfortable, which was the only reason I wasn't walking forward to fetch her now. If she was feeling mischievous, her face would have looked very different. So I waited, and it seemed that she was as well. When he returned he held a large, thick leather bound book. He handed it to her with a few words and she looked distinctly put out by them. Finally she seemed to bid him well and walked out, not noticing me in the pillars shadow (something we would need to work on once we started her real training in our sessions. She couldn't afford to not see things like that.) and joined Vasalissa and another boy whose name was unfamiliar to me who were still hovering outside the church's' front door.

I checked my watch now and shook my head. I didn't have time to wait around for them to chat and follow her to make sure she went back to her dorm. It was Sunday. If she wanted to spend a little time talking to her classmates, I didn't see a problem with that. I'd track her down in an hour once I was done with my own training session and make sure she'd gone back to her dorm. I went out the side door that was a more direct route to the field where we were all meeting and left her there.

The guys all greeted me cheerfully and after smiles, fist bumps and pleasantries had been exchanged, we all warmed up and stretched a bit. Then Yuri looked around at us and grinned.

"Rules for today?" he asked, kick starting our practice.

"1 against 1 for now," Stan answered him. "Until we're all pretty warmed up. Then 2 against 2, then 3 against 1. No weapons today. Let's go empty handed and see where we're all at. Especially you, Yuri. It's been three weeks. You're bound to be pretty rusty." Yuri shook his head in mock annoyance at Stan while the rest of us laughed at this. But we all quickly agreed to Stan's suggestion, and after laying out the rules for when to stop and declare the winner, or survivor, we all picked a number between one and ten to figure out who would go with Stan to make the first pair. Damien got that honor.

It was probably 20 minutes later and we were all collapsed on the ground, breathing heavy, sweating and chugging the water we'd all brought with us. Everyone was in a great mood, relaxed yet still amped up, clothes rumpled, smeared with dirt and covered in grass stains. We were about ready to start the 2 against 2 rounds and were catching our breath first so we'd all be a bit more fresh.

"That last hip throw was pretty damn perfect," Yuri told Damien now. Damien's ears turned a bit pink. He was one of the youngest Guardians here, and Yuri one of the most experienced, almost as much as Stan. This was a high compliment being paid to him by someone whose opinion carried weight. I smiled at him, lounging back on my elbows.

"Th-thanks," Damien stuttered a little, looking more embarrassed by the stutter. Yuri punched him in the shoulder now, rocking him to the side.

"Gotta work on that hand speed though. We've been picking you apart because of that. And you're too predictable. You start out good, but once it gets intense, you rely on the same 2 or 3 combination over and over. Makes it too easy to stop you. Take Belikov for example. He keeps you guessing every time. And then, just when you think you do spot a pattern, it's a trap and really he's baiting you. That's how you got taken down the last 2 times by him."

I raised an eyebrow at that. Yuri had just given me a pretty high compliment as well. Damien looked over at me and nodded. "Yeah, I saw that. It was too late though. My feet were already in the air."

The other 2 laughed heartily at him, Stan slapping the ground beside him while he did so. "And when someone 7 feet tall lifts you up and drops you down again, you're feet really are in the air. We practically had time to run around campus before you hit the ground again."

"You two have great defensive footwork," I said now, figuring the best way to change the topic was to give my own personal compliments. It was true. Yuri and Stan were masters at not letting you get close enough to land or try anything. They're footwork was impeccable, mirroring yours and always staying just out of range. I'd figured out pretty quickly the only reliable method to use with them was to wait for them to come in with something, and intercept or slip past it, and be ready to immediately follow their entry with your own attack. This meant your personal reflexes had to be top-notch, because you couldn't plan what your attack would be until you saw what and how they were entering with their own.

The two men looked pleased by my words. Stan stood up and dusted the glass and dirt off of his pants seat. "Well? Are we ready for pairs?" we were. All of us stood up.

"Ugnh." Yuri said, the air being suddenly pushed from his chest by my own body weight. I wasn't worried about hurting him. Yuri and Stan knew how to fall, and how to breathe to keep any real damage from being done. But he was definitely going to be out of breath after that. It took me only a second to press my sudden advantage and go for the choke.

"And done." Stan decided firmly. "Good work Dimitri." He checked his watch as I stood up and offered Yuri a hand to help him up. He accepted good naturedly and nodded at Damien, silently asking him how he was doing. I'd taken him down first of the three, and it had been a much harder fall than I'd mean to do. But it had been so perfect, everything lined up so evenly, and the throw itself had felt so effortless. The best ones always did. Damien smiled at me and nodded, but he had a hand on his rib and didn't remove it. "3 minutes, 5 seconds." Stand decided now, giving me my total time it had taken to incapacitate the three of them. Not a bad time. We were all getting pretty tired though. Our first times had been much better.

"Well, I don't know about you boys, but I'm about done for the day I think." Yuri announced. "I'm out of water, and I want a hot shower. And I've got grass in places no plant should go, no thanks to you Stan." We all chuckled at this, remembering the face plant and slide across the grass from 10 minutes ago. Damien nodded.

"A hot shower sounds good right now. And lying down on a bed sounds even better."

"Dimitri?" Stan asked, looking at me. I nodded.

"I'm going to call it also. This was fun – and very much needed – but I've let my usual workouts slide a bit more than I meant to this week. I want to keep some energy left for one of them." Stan nodded at this.

"Then we're all in agreement. Because I'm done for too. My old bones can't take this sort of abuse anymore. You buys ought to feel like shit, throwing an old man around like that. I could break something." He said it sternly, but we all smiled at his joke. Stan was only a few years older than Yuri, and even though for a Guardian he was too old to have out in the field all the time he was by no means old enough to retire. And he was tough and hit and kicked and threw like a damn beast. We were all going to be covered in bruises from him tomorrow. I welcomed it.

I felt less useless than I had in several weeks. I did my job here, and it was fine. I knew one day in the near future I'd be back in the field, Guarding Vasalissa from harm as she went about her adult life, and no doubt there would be many occasions where my skills of combat would be needed. But the campus work I did now made me feel lazy and flabby – combatively speaking. It was why we all met up as often as our schedules allowed, and many of the others had their own personal groups that got together. We all knew the importance of staying at the top of our game. Today had been good, and much needed. We'd all made more than one carless mistake with each other today that in real life would have cost us our lives, or a Moroi theirs. Towards the end there, we'd cleaned it up and gotten smoother and almost flawless.

We all were going through our personal cool down stretches in the grass, cutting up and generally talking and ribbing each other as we did so, when Damien asked a question that changed the mood entirely.

"So, does anyone know what the story with the Badica's Guardian is? Is it true? Did he really leave his Moroi for another Guardian?"

We all froze a bit when he asked that. We all had mixed emotions about this topic. In our society, it was one of the ultimate crimes. Dhampires couldn't have children with other Dhampires. So we were encouraged to have flings with the Moroi in order to produce children, while our women were simultaneously looked down on for wanting to raise those children and stop being Guardians, and even for the sexual relationship with Moroi men that had led to the child even existing. I knew firsthand how deep this double standard and its accompanying prejudices went.

My mother and grandmother had raised us all in a Dhampire commune. We children knew she wasn't a bloodwhore, and she wasn't cheap and she wasn't useless. She worked harder than anyone I knew and loved all of us more than life itself. We also knew that it was expected for the girls to follow in her footsteps, and make more Dhampire children, and to be Guardians until then. And it was expected for me to be a Guardian until it killed me or the unlikely case where I actually died of old age. But I wasn't expected to have any children. Not many Moroi women wanted to have Dhampire kids.

But the society we all lived and worked in looked down on any of us building a lifelong relationship with another Dhampire, because then we would have no children to grow up to be Guardians. And for both of them to have left their Moroi was a huge scandal, one they would never recover from in our society. I'd heard the news the other night from Sadowsky but I'd tried not to think too much of it since I'd heard. It only made me angry. Furious, even. Not because the two Guardians were breaking our unwritten rules and planning on spending their lives together, but because it was even considered to be a rule in the first place. There should have been no stigma with this, I felt.

Guardian numbers had dropped drastically in the last 25 years, ever since technology had become so advanced and common place. More and more of the Dhampires had decided this life of inequality wasn't for them. Our hard work and sacrifices for the Moroi safety that wasn't even tempered by being allowed to find our own happiness in our personal time without such negativity and threats. Sadowsky had told me about the huge uproar this had caused and how after the two had started to receive death threats, they'd decided that they were going to disappear, and live among the humans, as humans. It was horrible. It was bad enough that they had felt forced to give up their roles as guardians to be able to be together, but now they were having to remove themselves from all of this completely. A few months of being out, and they would never truly be able to come back. They'd never make up the loss of skill, even if they wanted to return, or were desperately needed to. They would be treated as less than the humans if they were to come back. An atrocity, given the amount of time and energy they had put in to become Guardians in the first place, and had been pretty good ones. Not the most well-known, but generally considered to be highly desirable.

So now, not only were the Guardian numbers dropping because Dhampires didn't want to finish school, after they realized the low quality of personal life they could expect to have and the minimal amount of thanks, but we were actively pushing out ones we did have, that had completed training and proven to be an asset to their Moroi. It was much the same burning anger I'd felt when Kirova had threatened to expel Rose, effectively throwing away another great potential Guardian – like we really had so many to spare. But of course she would be so careless with that; Kirova was a Moroi afterall. She didn't really understand. Almost none of them did. I stayed silent, too angry to trust myself to speak.

Stan and Yuri looked angry too but I could only guess at their reasons for it.

"It's true." Yuri finally said.

"It's disgraceful," Stan said, cold and hard. "Instead of standing up to what people think about what they're doing, they're running away." He spat at the grass. "True Guardians never run away from adversity, even from people they used to call friends."

"So, it is true." Damien paused and when he continued, his question was tentative and directed at Stan. "Do you think it's wrong for them to want to be together? To get married? To make a lifelong commitment to another Dhampire?" He looked scared as he finished now, clearly uncertain what Stan's reaction would be. His shoulders hunched a bit around his ears in a defensive posture.

"To want to spend their lives with someone they love? No." Stan drank the last of his water and then glared at the empty bottle like it had personally offended him. "To quit their jobs? Yes. They should have waited to be fired. And they should be fighting to stay where they're at. Instead they're acting guilty. Like they've done something wrong. Like they murdered someone." He shoved the water bottle into his gym bag he'd brought and zipped it up. "I hope I never see them in person. I don't know if I can restrain myself. Our lives are hard enough as is, without our kind giving in to the pressure from the nobles. They should never have given anyone the satisfaction of making them run away."

"I agree." Yuri's voice was soft and he sat staring into the leaves of the tree he was under, face clouded with his own thoughts. "But they should also have the common sense to know that this won't be forever. None of us are going to have a forever, with anyone. Much less another Guardian. They're wasting their lives, their skills, their training, all the time other people put in to make them good, for something that won't last. And running away like this means, when it doesn't last, neither of them can come back. It lets them win." The way he said them told all of us he did not mean the two lovers. "But really, we all lose. They're making all of us look bad. Look weak. Like we're all loose cannons without a straight thought in any of our heads. The people who are pushing for a reform in our society and its systems, they're losing some of the tiny bit of ground they've gained because of this. It makes all of us look unstable and unreliable."

"You don't think they could be happy together? With the humans? I mean, they already can't come back. No one will want them. So if they have a life with the humans, what's to stop them from living to be old and happy together?" Damien sounded torn as he asked this. One the one hand, he knew as well as us why the odds of the relationship succeeding were so low. He'd been raised just like we were. But he was young still, only 22, and he had that romanticism and hope that we all do until it's taken from us by our lives and the sacrifices and losses in it.

And he looked up to all of us. Being the most junior member in our group was hard for him, I knew. I saw how awed and intimidated he was by us. I felt the urge to chuckle, but not in an amused, pleasant way. It was a dark urge, a maddening one. Us old guys. I was only 2 years older than him but I felt like it was a decade. It wasn't just Ivan's death that made me feel this way. 2 years in our work was longer than 24 months. You saw more and did more and lost more in that time than a human or Moroi did. Yuri was significantly older than both of us at 38. And Stan practically the grandfather to us all at 43. For Dhampires, that was old. Many simply didn't live that long. Not ones who spent any amount of time in the field. And I knew just looking at the other two that they felt the same as I did. We didn't have that romantic hopefulness any more. Life had stolen that from each of us. It wasn't that we believed we had to live like monks, but we all knew the average relationship length any Dhampire Guardian could expect wasn't longer than about 5 years. Anything that lasted longer than that was extremely rare for one of us. And really, the average was more like 2.

"No." Stan said now, abrupt.

"No." Yuri finished, still looking at the leaves in the sky above him, thinking about something past.

Damien looked at me, eyes pleading with me to agree with him. To back him up in his youthful hope. "Dimitri?" He said my name so softly, it hurt to answer. It hurt to hurt him.

"No. I don't believe they will be together the rest of their lives." My answer was equally soft, and as gentle as I could make it. I felt like I was kicking a puppy. One I'd been feeding. Damien's face dropped and he looked at his own gym bag that was sitting in front of him. He'd been playing with the strap. Now he just clenched it in his fist hard.

"I had a woman I loved like that once." It was Yuri who spoke, catching all of us by surprise and we all looked at him. "She was everything to me. She was the reason for living." Stan's face grew hard. I didn't think he was looking down on Yuri for those words. I think he was just preparing himself for the sad ending, because that's all these stories ever had. Damien looked back at his bag. He'd used up all his bravery for the day it seemed, talking to us like he had. I kept mine blank and smooth. Like Stan, I knew this sort of story ended sadly.

"She left me, after 4 years together." Yuri looked at all of us now, but I didn't know if he really saw any of us. "We'd been fighting every day for almost a year by them. Stupid things. We were fighting because we couldn't figure out any other way to talk to each other anymore. So we just argued. About anything we could."

His eyes found mine now, mine alone. I wondered why he was directing it at me. He and Stan had been good friends for years before I came here. Maybe Stan already knew. And Damien wasn't looking up. Maybe he only looked at me because I was the only one willing to look back at him while he finished.

"She was killed 6 months later. In a raid. Her new partner was young, inexperienced. She never would have gotten killed if it had been me with her." He continued watching me and I felt a cold chill rush through me. His story hit far too close to home.

"Wait, she was your guarding partner?" Damien asked now; looking up, shock on his face. That was the other big taboo in our culture. Partner romances were frowned on – not as much as leaving like the Badica's Guardian was – but nearly. I understood Damien's shock, but I didn't share it. I hadn't known or suspected this about Yuri, but I'd seen his rare silent moments that mirrored my own. The ones you got when the weight of your past decisions and their consequences were too much and you fought not to fall off the edge into madness, or rage.

"Yes." Yuri sounded amused now, and looked over to Damien, to my immense relief. "I was about your age. I believed back then that the unspoken rules didn't matter, that she and I would of course be the exception that everyone admired and envied, and that it would all be easy. After all, we loved each other. What else mattered?" Now his eyes shifted back to me again and I felt myself shift uncomfortably under his quiet gaze, and was embarrassed at letting the reaction show.

"We were looked down on of course, and everything that could have been done to make our lives difficult, was." He stared off into the distance now, remembering. He winced. "At first, Damien, love is enough. Then one day, it's too hard to keep fighting for something so simple, but necessary, as being in love and being happy. And then it's not enough anymore. But we didn't want to admit that was happening to us. That we were letting them win. So we blamed each other. And argued and fought, and lied to ourselves that the reason we were failing wasn't because of giving up, giving in. We tried to convince ourselves that we had simply changed. Or the other person had. That we just weren't the same people in more." There was a long silence now before he continued words barely audible. "And we weren't. We were broken versions of who we had once been."

I looked at Yuri, and saw the crow's feet around his eyes, the wrinkles he was starting to get in his forehead and around his mouth. He had retained his youthful appearance better than most his age, and to his credit, it looked like the lines he had were not all sad ones. I believed quite a few of them were smile lines too. He hadn't let himself be destroyed by the death of his love for the woman and then the death of his loves life. He'd made sure to go on and continue to live. But the baggage was there, and tonight he let it show. He still carried it around, all these years later.

"And that's why it was stupid for them to give in." Stan told Damien, his words low but firm and cold. He'd clearly gone back to the original topic, leaving Yuri's pain in the past. "Because no one wins."

I'd had enough of this depressing talk. It hit too close to home, what with the way Yuri had looked right at me, like he was telling me something. I wasn't in the mood to figure it out now. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. And I needed to make sure Rose was in her dorm again and not out causing trouble. I used this reason as my excuse to leave, and pretended not to see the knowing look Stan and Yuri shared, and the sudden grin of amusement from Damien. I knew no one truly believed I'd get Rose to graduation without being expelled. I knew they talked about how crazy I was to embark on this job and the crazy amount of extra work and hours I had to put in to check on her whereabouts all the time.

More than the original 5 I'd asked were reporting back to me now. They were enjoying the game of watching Rose for trouble and telling on her to me. It wasn't their careers on the line. Although, if I were being truthful, I was becoming less and less concerned with my reputation and career over this and more motivated by the desire to prove to everyone that Rose wasn't what she seemed. I saw something more in her, something that was trying very hard to grow and unfold, and I wanted to know what it was. I wanted to see what this raw potential would look like once it was developed. I didn't want her to be constrained by the reputation she'd gathered at an age too young to know how damaging it really was for her. I was tired of all these double standards, and I wanted to help her overcome hers. I wanted her to beat the system and what everyone expected. I wanted her to rub it in their faces. So I was willing to put in the work.


	12. Chapter 12

A few more weeks passed, and Rose and I now had a firmly established routine. We talked no more of anything likely to be of conflict. Her bite-free neck, the boys who were not losing their interest in her in the least, the reason for her needing these extra lessons in the first place – they all went unmentioned. Instead she made sarcastic comments about the running, stretching and weights, complained about various teachers and the unfair amount of work they had everyone do and her frequent argument/debates with Stan.

And Vasalissa. I still had not taken the time to start building my relationship with her, although I knew I needed to, but I learned much about her from Rose. And I learned even more than I already knew just how much Rose cared for and worried about her. Rose talked to me about how the Royals at first stared at Vasalissa like she was a science project and how uncomfortable it made her feel, and then how they slowly started to ignore her, which Rose said made Vasalissa feel bad also, but in a different way. She told me when Vasalissa had nightmares at night and how they woke both of them up and how frustrated Rose was that she could no longer go into her room and hold her until she relaxed enough to go back to sleep. She talked about how happy Vasalissa was to be back in school, studying and taking tests and how proud she was of how quickly she was getting caught up and how much Vasalissa loved learning. It was something that Rose didn't share with her friend, except in the areas of combat.

Rose had a dozen new questions for me every day, asking about techniques from classes, and wanting me to better explain them, and to know if I had ever done this or done that, and begging me to show her more hands on skills, and one day, tentatively asking me about my own Strigoi killing experiences. It was a day where she'd come in in an unusually somber mood after Stan's class. I'd been on duty in that class, and had seen how moved Rose had been by today's topic; a more detailed lesson plan on strategies to keep your Moroi safe in an unsecured public, human area. For most of the Guardians here, this was a topic that while important, would not be a large part of their adult guarding. Most Moroi stayed in the safe zones, so their Guardians stayed with them. But eventually there would always come a time, usually during travel, where they couldn't, and therefore their Guardians couldn't. Rose had sat straight up in her seat the whole class, taking actual notes for what had to be the first time so far this year, and listening fervently to everything Stan had said. This lesson had hit close to home because of their runaway time.

And so, hours later when we met for our evening weight training session, Rose had stopped mid-rep and looked at me seriously.

"Dimitri…" She'd hesitated, and it was the hesitation that made me look up from the book I was attempting to read, although lately it was becoming hard to focus on my books when she was around. I said nothing, and waited for her to continue. Our eyes burned into each other for a long moment before she broke the contact and looked down. "Will you tell me about one of the times _you _killed a Strigoi?"

I paused, caught off guard and wondering where she was going with this. "Why?"

"It's just… We always talk about the theories and methods in classes, but.. I never hear any of the teachers talk about a real time they had to do it..you know. Kill one of them." A long silence stretched out between us as I waited for my mind to think of something to say. She looked up after the silence had gone on a while and she sat down on the weight bench, dropping the dumbbells she held. She was searching my face for something. I kept it smooth.

"What do you want to know?" I asked finally. I wasn't interested in reliving the bloody past just for entertainment sake, and I felt that she was driving at a particular question that I couldn't guess at. She shrugged now and looked down at her hands.

"Were you scared?" She whispered after another long silence. She shrank in on herself a little bit, embarrassed by her question. I looked at her carefully, surprised by this opening. It was a rare moment of vulnerability. The last time I'd seen her look even the slightest bit uncertain had been right before I marched the girls through the breakfast hall when we first arrived. And this was a more potent version of that uncertainty.

"Yes." I answered. I wanted her to know the truth. That this life was not as glamorous and easy as it sounded when you were young. It was cruel and bloody and short. It was something Galina had tried to tell me when she was my mentor my senior year, but I had had no real idea until after I'd graduated. Ivan and I heard learned a lot together.

Rose looked up at me now; seeming shocked I'd admit such a thing. "How…" she swallowed and then seemed to change her mind and asked a different question. "How did you kill them?"

"The first one, I cut his head off. The next two I staked. The next one…" I paused here. This was most likely going to open doors to a conversation I didn't want to have. But Ivan and Rose were both watching me, waiting to see what I would say. "The next one, Ivan set on fire, and then I staked him. The rest," I paused again, remembering that night. How long it had been. How terrified I'd felt. How much of a massacre it had been. "The last ones…I don't really remember. There was a lot that happened that night. I think I staked them. But when it was all over and we were gathering the bodies together to burn them, no one could say for sure which ones they had killed themselves."

I had kept my eyes on her the whole time, watching her reaction. Ivan was watching me. Rose pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them.

"Did you get a mark for each one?" she asked now, her eyes going lower and resting my throat. She couldn't see the marks from where she sat, but I still felt the urge to cover them with my hand.

"No. There is not always someone around to verify that you killed one. There is not always a good way to keep a head count." This was something I was glad of. 5 marks were enough. I didn't like having my kills branded on me for anyone to see and ask me about, or create their own stories in their heads. I would have liked to keep them all to myself, private memories. But that wasn't how this worked. So I took the marks I couldn't escape from. But there were many more I never claimed.

"Why are you asking me this Rose?" I continued now, looking at her hunched form. I suddenly very much wanted to know why she looked so uncomfortable, why this was on her mind today. I wondered if she knew something about Vasalissa I should be worried about.

"I don't know if I can do it." She said quietly, and they were the last words I'd expected to hear. "I've never even seen one before. Training, the classes here, I have fun with them. I love it. But I'm scared that…." She trailed off and her ears burned red with shame. She put a couple fingers in her mouth and gnawed on the nails.

"Scared that..?" I asked gently; wanting her know there was no shame here. It was just her and me. And I felt a sense of pride that she was putting this sort of thought out there. That she was realizing that the world after graduation wasn't a game, and that she knew she wasn't ready yet. I also felt pleased that it was me she felt able to talk to like this at all. I knew how hard she worked to make people think she had no fear or doubts, but we all did. She kept a shield up at all times to keep people from seeing her vulnerable at all and now she was letting a tiny part of it down. Letting me see behind it. I felt a tightness in my chest that was different from the one I had almost grown used to carrying. Instead of the gaping hole of emptiness that resided there from Ivan's death, I felt a tightness that felt more like… happiness. Happiness that she trusted me. I put my book down now and leaned forward a bit, wanting her to know she had my whole attention.

"I'm scared that… when the time comes… I won't be able to protect her." Rose whispered now. "I'm scared that I'll freeze." She sounded so sincere that it made me ache. I knew what she meant, and how devastating it was to doubt you could do what you wanted to do more than anything. I remembered that day at the mall with Ivan again, back when were just two kids, teenagers, and how absolutely petrified I'd been.

I stood up and walked over to her, and gently put my hand on her shoulder. I waited for her to look up at me. When she did, I made sure to speak softly and with confidence.

"When the time comes, you won't freeze. Your love for Vasalissa will keep that from happening."

There was a long minute of intense eye contact, and again I felt that we were talking. I couldn't put words to what we were saying, but it seemed like she felt we were talking to. I hoped what she heard us not say was reassuring. Finally she nodded and I took my hand away. My palm felt cold after leaving her shoulder. I made myself walk back to my previous seat and pick up my book. Behind me I heard a slow, shaky breath from her. Without looking at her I changed the mood, much as I didn't want to. "Finish those reps Rose."

It was now 3 weeks in to our regular routine, and today Rose was not in such a fragile mood. She swaggered in to practice, her hips looking about ready to pop from their sockets as she walked. I'd noticed that the happier she was, the more they swayed when she walked. I always knew when rose had gotten into it with Stan, even without being there, because she would stomp into the gym with a walk like the tin man. I wondered why the happy mood today.

"Someone's in a good mood," I commented, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically talkative. Usually I was content to let Rose open up our conversations and lead the topic wherever, but today I felt the desire to initiate. I felt Ivan raise his eyebrow at me doing so. I ignored it.

"Oh, you know, just my usual wonderful self," She replied, a huge smile almost splitting her face in half.

"Really? Because I was under the impression that your usual self was cranky, sarcastic and disrespectful." I felt a smile tugging at my mouth as I spoke and could only half keep it hidden. Rose gave me a startled look, her eyes glued to my mouth. Then she looked up at my eyes and a different smile came over her. One that was less giddy and more… something else.

"Only with you," She retorted with a wink. "To everyone else I am a dream of sweetness and pleasantries."

I couldn't help the snort that came out of me at this bald-faced lie. Sweet and pleasant were two words I was sure would not be used by any of her classmates and teachers to describe her. I wasn't entirely sure Vasalisaa would use them. Rose smirked at my poorly disguised disbelief and walked over to the bar and flung her foot on it. Keeping her eyes on me, sparkling with mischief, she leaned over to reach for her toes. I found my eyes drawn along the span of her leg, down to her foot. And then back up – but I ripped my gaze away before it landed on her ass. What was this? Was I.. flirting. Here? Seriously? I looked at her face, startled, and saw she was watching me intently, looking for something again.

When she caught my gaze she winked and leisurely lowered the one leg and put the other one up. There was no doubt about it now. The first one maybe had just been her usual self, but this other leg, she moved more deliberately, and bent over to reach her toes slower, waiting for me to look at it again. She had a playful look on her face like she wore when she teased the boys in her classes, but her eyes were not playful. They were serious, gaging my reaction. I felt my smile fade and I made myself take several steps away, sitting down in my usual spot. For a second when my back was to her, I was sure I heard a sigh.

'_That was amusing,'_ Ivan said wickedly.

'_That was nothing. Just a normal hello.'_

'_That was a reaction,'_ he countered, his smile mischievous again. I ignored him.

After Rose had come back in from running I saw her rub her hands absentmindedly together and then against her hoodie. She wasn't joking around with me now, in fact, she'd been strangely quiet after the sigh. Without making eye contact with me she went to the far corner of the mat I was on and sat down to start her hip stretches. I stood up and walked over to her and sat down beside her. I might as well stretch also as I planned a long workout for myself once she left for breakfast. She looked surprised at my coming over, and went back to her own routine, not making eye contact with me.

"How is Vasalissa today?" I asked her awkwardly. I didn't like this strange silence between us. It was different from our usual early morning one. She did look at me now and she watched as I mirrored her own movements, only with much more flexibility. She frowned a bit; frustrated she couldn't bend as far yet, but answered.

"No nightmares last night, so that's good. She got a good night's sleep."

"Did you?" I shocked myself with the question, and her expression said I shocked her too. She stared at me for a long minute and then her ears turned a bit pink.

"Only for a little bit," she mumbled. "I had my own dreams to deal with." She stood up suddenly and grabbed her water bottle while I sat there pondering her words. Was she having nightmares too? I realized suddenly that even though we talked a lot now, or she did anyway, that very little of it was actually about her. Mostly it was about Vasalissa or what happened in Roses' classes that day. Not much was about her specifically. Irrationally, I felt now that I'd failed somehow. Like she couldn't be open with me. Like she didn't trust me. It was a ridiculous feeling so I tried to squash it.

"I need to go. I've got a report I have to finish after breakfast for history. I was too tired last night." Her words broke me out of my thoughts and I frowned at her. She wasn't looking at me, and I wondered if she was lying. But no, I knew she did have a paper due today. I'd made a point to keep up with her homework assignments and tests so I could bring them up periodically to make sure she was doing them. Not breaking probation was only part of what would get her to graduation. Her grades were still important.

"Ok." I said now, watching her. Was she really avoiding eye contact with me? It bothered me to think that she was. I stood up and caught a hand on her shoulder as she turned to leave. She jumped a bit and looked at me. Her face looked like a kid being caught raiding the cookie jar. I wondered what she could possibly feel so guilty for. I needed to ask my 'informants'. Maybe something had gone down last night and that was why her homework was unfinished. She shifted her weight and I realized I was frowning at her.

"You're doing well." I said abruptly. I suddenly needed her to know how impressed I was by her efforts and improvements so far. True, it had only been 3 weeks, but still. She had surpassed everyone's expectations so far, including mine. I needed her to hear it. Her face was a mix of several emotions, too tangled for me to decipher. I thought one of them might be pleasure though.

"You're getting stronger. And you're moving better. Keep up the hard work." I felt strange saying this. Too formal. I was fucking this up. I sounded like a robot trying to compliment her. Rose however gave me a small smile and a nod before leaving. I stood there watching her go and then decided to throw my churning emotions into a hell of a workout.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I didn't have to see Kirova until tomorrow. I was starting to live for the days I did not have to report in to her. I asked around and no one had seen or heard anything worrying about Rose to explain her strange behavior. She had flirted yesterday with everyone, like usual, but caused no major upheaval in any class, and gone to her dorm after we were done yesterday without complaining and stayed there. Maybe she'd just woken up on the wrong side of the bed, I mused.

I took a long hot shower instead of dinner, letting the water massage my already sore muscles. I'd punished them brutally this morning, with a workout much more grueling that my usual ones. It had felt good, pushing my limits and seeing where I was capable of going now. I tried to really push past the breaking point every 6 months or so, to give myself a measure of my own growth and progress. I was pleased with the result this morning; I had been sure it would be lower since my own personal training was now so hit and miss. Rose had been back to her chatty self this evening, and I'd heard firsthand from her about some of her flirting she was doing. She of course laughed about it, describing the looks on some of the boys faces, and thinking it was grandly amusing. I'd smiled, barely, before putting her through a few extra rounds with the weights. She'd stumbled out, drenched in sweat and swearing at me.

The next morning I felt stiff and sore, so I got up a little early and did plenty of my own stretches before Rose was due to come in. I had brought a cd player with me today and put on some of the 80s music I loved so I could try and relax. I'd woken up grumpy and out of sorts this morning and I didn't know why. Ivan didn't even try to talk to me, which is how I knew how bad my mood was. When Rose came in, 10 minutes late as usual, I suddenly felt better. Until she spoke.

"Woah, Dimitri. I realize this is actually a current hit in Eastern Europe right now, but do you think we could maybe listen to something that wasn't recorded before I was born?" She stood in front of me with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. She was in a teasing, goading mood today it would seem. Perfect. The one day I really didn't want her to talk this early, which she rarely did, and that was the day she felt provocative. I kept my voice neutral.

"What does it matter to you? I'm the one who is going to be listening to it. You will be outside running."

She grimaced and put her foot on the car again. I kept my eyes glued to the book, determined not to be pulled in again. Yesterday had been… awkward. A few minutes later she spoke up; pulling my attention from the chapter I'd finally managed to focus on.

"Hey, what's with all the running anyway? I mean, I realize the importance of stamina and all that. But shouldn't we be moving on to something with a little more hitting? They're still killing me in group practice."

They really were. I'd stopped in a few days ago to observe and had been surprised to see how much she was still being pushed around. "Maybe you should hit harder." I said now, feeling a bit of my cool mask slipping. I really wasn't in the mood for this today.

"I'm serious." She said now.

"Hard to tell the difference." I muttered. I put my book down and looked at her. She sat up from where she'd been leaning forward and looked straight back at me. "My job is to get you ready to defend the princess and fight dark creatures, yes?"

"Yup." She was watching me, completely giving her attention over. Time for a life lesson then I supposed.

"So tell me this: suppose you manage to kidnap her again and take her off to the mall. While you're there a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do?"

"Depends on what store we're in," She says, cracking a joke. I refuse to smile, letting her know I'm in the mood for a serious discussion today. She sighs.

"Fine. I'll stab him with a silver stake."

I sat up now and looked at her hard. That was seriously her answer? Time to bring reality home. "Oh? Do you have a silver stake?" I raised an eye brow, adding further emotion to my questions. "Do you even know how to use one?"

Rose dropped her gaze from my face and scowled. She looked at my chest for a minute then up again. "Ok. Fine. I'll cut his head off."

I fought the urge to tsk at her. Galina would have had a field day with this line of reasoning. Rose was lucky all she had was me. "Ignoring the fact that you don't have a weapon to do that," I said dryly, pausing for a second to let that sink in. "How will you compensate for the fact that he may be a foot taller than you?"

Her face darkened further. This was irritating her. "Fine. I'll set him on fire."

"Again, with what?" I was feeling more patient and less moody now. It was amusing because she was looking more annoyed by each sentence.

"All right. I give up. You've already got the answer. You're just messing with me. I'm at the mall and I see a Strigoi. What do I do?" She glared at me and waited. I waited too, to see if she'd get it. Nothing.

"You run." It was a serious lesson, although Rose might not think so. But it was one of the first ones Galina had taught me and it had saved my life plenty of times. When you were ill-equipped for battle, you left. You found a better place, or a weapon or both to battle it out with. But Rose groaned and rolled her eyes at me.

I watched her stand up and eye the door to the track with hate. On an impulse, because I really was in a much better mood now, I stood up also.

"I'll run with you." She looked up at me startled. She opened her mouth, almost certainly to ask why I was coming with her then closed it. I opened the door and we set out.

The air was definitely getting colder now, and I made a note to find my gloves soon. Another week or so and I'd really be glad to have them. I set out at a pace that she could maintain and enjoyed the feeling of movement. I wondered why the impulse to go with her. I'd been having trouble fitting in my own practices, so this made sense. I could get my warmup over with before she even left so I could get to the meat of my workouts right away. But looking sideways at her, seeing her cheeks starting to turn pink from the exercise and the cold, and her hair bouncing along behind her, I knew that wasn't why I'd gone with her. I'd gone because I wanted to spend the hour with her, instead of by myself in the gym with a book for most of it. The realization startled me.

Suddenly Rose picked up the pace. She was much shorter than me, so even though she was working quite a bit harder now, I wasn't working that much more. My legs simply covered more distance with each step. She was breathing heavy and focused on the ground right in front of us, ignoring me. I let the laps count down until we would be done with the 3 miles. I kept looking over at her, trying not to feel miffed that she was acting like I wasn't right here.

We were almost finished when a group of her classmates passed by on their way to breakfast. There were catcalls and whistles from them as they watched her running past. Mason, the only one I recognized by name, called out 'Good form Rose' as she passed him. She slowed down and looked back him with a broad, beautiful smile on her face. She waved and opened her mouth to say something back. I felt something ugly turn inside me.

"You're slowing down." I was surprised by how sharp my words sounded coming out. "Is this why your times aren't getting any faster? You're easily distracted?" _'By them? You've run 2 ½ miles right beside me like I wasn't even here.' _I added, well aware of sulky and young I sounded. I silently dared Ivan to comment, and thankfully he didn't. Rose stared up at me, mouth hanging open, and then a look of determination crossed her face and she sped up again. I followed along with her, gritting my teeth at the returning bad mood.

We stopped at the gym door and she doubled over, completely out of breath. She waved her hands at me, miming that she wanted to know the time we made. I was settling my own breathing back into place, but it was hard. I was fighting an emotional battle right now, and I wasn't even sure what it was about. I checked the stopwatch and suddenly smiled.

"Two minutes faster than your best time." I suddenly felt the smile disappear. Two minutes was a big jump. Maybe I hadn't been doing my job right if she could suddenly go 2 minutes faster. I had been going too easy on her. What else was I doing wrong?

Rose however was ecstatic and was cheering and doing a sort of victory dance. "2 minutes! Not bad huh?" She elbowed my ribs looking for confirmation of a job well done as we walked back into the gym. "It looks like I could get as far as the limited before the Strigoi got me at the mall. Not sure how well Lissa would do though." She was grinning hugely at me, and my bad mood vanished again. Her smile was an amazing thing to see. It lit up the whole room and made everything else dim by comparison. I suddenly felt ashamed by my pettiness outside. She hadn't deserved me to be that harsh with her. I needed to apologize somehow, make it up to her.

My thoughts trailed off as I realized she was staring at me, waiting for an answer. Her smile was still just as big though.

"If she was with you, she'd be ok." I answered her, and meant it. Everyone was hard on her, including me, but Rose would make an amazing Guardian. It wasn't really her fault that she acted impulsively and flirted too much and complained about the running. She was young still. But she honestly put her best into everything, and she was smart. Vasalissa would be safe with her. No doubt there would be some very unorthodox actions involved in keeping her safe, like running away from the Academy. But she would be safe. I found myself watching Rose watch me, and her look of shock was too much. I felt a smile trying to break free. I wanted to reach out and touch her. I wanted to feel her hair, run a finger down the side of her cheek, just to see what it felt like…

'_I'm proud of you, old friend,'_ Ivan said softly, joyously_. 'It looks like you've found something to plant in that empty hole after all, despite your protests.'_

Then Rose froze. Her mouth went slack, her eyes rolled back in her head. Her body went rigid. It was just like she'd done our very first day together, when I couldn't get her to wake up. I froze. What was happening? I thought back to that day. What had she said? She'd said… she'd said she was with Lissa. In her head. How had I never asked for more of an explanation for that? I bent down in front of Rose, hoping to see some sort of recognition in her eyes, but there was none. It was like she'd gone into a coma, standing up. I was just starting to panic after a few minutes went by, but then suddenly Rose was blinking, and shaking her head. I reached out to grab her shoulder, to ask her what was happening, but without even a glance toward me, she sped off. She ran faster than I'd ever seen her run, including just a few minutes ago, including the night we came to retrieve them. She dashed off and was gone in an instant.

"Rose! Rose!"


	13. Chapter 13

_Then Rose froze. Her mouth went slack, her eyes rolled back in her head. Her body went rigid. It was just like she'd done our very first day together, when I couldn't get her to wake up. I froze. What was happening? I thought back to that day. What had she said? She'd said… she'd said she was with Lissa. In her head. How had I never asked for more of an explanation for that? I bent down in front of Rose, hoping to see some sort of recognition in her eyes, but there was none. It was like she'd gone into a coma, standing up. I was just starting to panic after a few minutes went by, but then suddenly Rose was blinking, and shaking her head. I reached out to grab her shoulder, to ask her what was happening, but without even a glance toward me, she sped off. She ran faster than I'd ever seen her run, including just a few minutes ago, including the night we came to retrieve them. She dashed off and was gone in an instant._

"_Rose! Rose!"_

Rose was gone, off like a shot down the path. It looked like she was headed to the dorms, but I couldn't be sure. There were quite a few turns she could take between here and there to end up somewhere different. She either ignored my calls or didn't hear them. I couldn't be sure which; I simply didn't know enough about this Bond between the two of them. But if she was running like this it could only mean Vasalissa was in trouble. And that meant Rose and she had been right when they defended their choice to run away before, saying that it was dangerous to stay here. Kirova and many of the others had scoffed at the time, but now, there was no doubt Rose feared something terrible, that she'd seen or heard or felt something that put her into an all-out panic.

My own legs had started moving seconds after hers did, and I was following her down the sidewalks of campus, looking like two insane people. Rose was plowing through pairs and small groups of students milling around before the first class of the day started. We were coming up on the end of breakfast time, and that meant this was almost the busiest time of the school day. It didn't matter. Rose didn't slow. She knocked Moroi, teachers, and Dhampires alike over like they weren't even there. I don't know if she really even noticed them. She still didn't seem to hear me calling to her, asking her what was wrong, what we were running toward, what we should be preparing for. It was an important question, and dozens of horrible possibilities flew through my mind.

Campus was supposed to be safe. It had video surveillance, tall walls and gates manned by Guardians, wards and a few other things all designed to keep the bad things out, to keep these children safe. A small part of me worried that this was some sort of prank. Rose hadn't acted up at all since she'd gotten back here, and a part of me worried that the lull before the storm was over. But no. I'd seen the look of fear on her face for a fraction of a second after the disorientation had cleared. And that was another thing; she'd clearly been uncertain where she was in the milliseconds after the coma-like state had ended. She'd looked around and looked at me like she'd never seen me or the ground we were standing on before. And then she'd looked terrified. And then she was gone.

I'd caught up to her now, and it was clear we were definitely heading to the dorms, the Moroi ones. My stomach tightened as this was just a further unnecessary clue as to what or who had Rose so hell-bent on getting there. I prayed that we would find Vasalissa in one piece and unharmed. But you never knew. I was shouting at the students around us to move out of the way as we both charged forward, using my long arms to flag their attention and help push some of them aside to give Rose a clear path. The shocked and curious faces reminded me of sheep, and in my panic I thought a lot of ugly things about the people we were passing and how extremely sheep like they were. The wolf could be running right toward them all right now saying he was hungry and they would probably stand there and gape instead of running to the hills.

It was a very short time later after her initial take off before we charged to the stairs of the dorms Vasalissa was living in with the other Moroi. It felt like hours. The door burst open once we got the stairs in sight and Vasalissa charged out also, although she was white and wide eyed in panic and not as athletic as we were. Her charge was more of a quick footed stumble and she immediately saw Rose and cried out her name. My heart twisted at the sound of it. She was truly out of her mind with fear and whatever other emotions, and she called Rose to her like no one else in the world existed. No one else in the world would make it all better, whatever had happened. No one else mattered. Again I felt like I'd been knocked over by a Strigoi at the power of the memories that feeling in her voice, in saying that one name, brought forth in me.

Rose clattered to a stop, crashing into Vasalissa, and now I was uncertain which of the two was holding the both of them upright. Rose was too out of breath to speak or stand up straight, and clutched Vasalissa so hard she looked like she'd break her. Vasalissa had thrown her arms around Roses' chest and seemed like dead weight collapsed on her, but at the same time like she might try to climb on Rose like a cat who's been spooked. Neither one could get enough air in their lungs to speak at first. I stopped right beside Vasalissa, my charge, my Moroi, and gave her a half second once over, looking for blood, broken bones, bite marks, anything glaringly wrong. There was nothing so now I frantically scanned the area around us, looking for the cause of all this panic, starting with the 5 feet directly around us, and spiraling out in 10 foot sweeps. Everything appeared to be as it should be, with the exception of the crown gathering around us, observing the spectacle.

"Whats wrong? What happened?" Roses' voice yanked my attention back to them, and she was standing a bit more upright, clutching Vasalissa who sobbed uncontrollably into her chest, her knees sagging so they were almost on the ground. Rose grunted as whatever amount of her own weight Vasalissa had been holding up was now given over to her and the two slowly sank down to their knees. Rose had one arm wrapped tight around her friend's waist, holding her to her, and the other was stroking her beautiful golden hair, as she tried to sooth her enough to get answers to her questions. The sobs only grew louder and Rose gave up asking and instead started whispering to her, telling her that it was alright, she was here now and there was nothing and nobody that was going to pull her away. Whatever had happened, Vasalissa would not have to face it alone.

Again, I felt the vicious smack to my whole frame, and I think I have never, not once since I heard he had died, missed my friend more dearly than I did in that second. The raw, uncontained emotion pouring out of the two of them, and how completely oblivious they were to the world around them felt like a thousand silver stakes piercing me at the same time, over and over. I felt a huge wave of jealousy come over me at the sight. I would never have that again. I would never be able to hold my friend, to comfort him and tell him I would die for him, and anything and everything else that might be required of me, again. I would never share that emotional intensity with another living creature, to the level that they were right now, the level that he and I had one time, again. And I wished fervently that I could just go numb, and never feel any emotion ever again, if it meant I would never have to miss him and our friendship like this again. My soul cried out loudly and horribly to the heavens and any God who might be listening.

But even as I felt broken into a million, shattered pieces, I knew my duty. I scanned and scanned, seeing nothing, and hearing no explanation from Vasalissa yet, and I knew it was time to call for reinforcements. I finally saw another Guardian coming over to see why there was such a massive crowd of students hovering here, and I saw it was Stevens. I curtly waved him toward me, and noticing who I was, he hurried over, surprise and apprehension on his face. He got close enough to see the girls in huddled pile, and he looked to me in shock and ran the last few steps to my side.

"What happened here?" He hissed to me, keeping his voice down.

"I'm not sure yet," I said back, just as quiet. "Rose felt Vasalissa's fear through the Bond. We were in the gym. She just felt it and took off to find her. I don't think she's hurt, but she hasn't stopped crying enough to talk yet."

He stared at me, and his eyebrows were up in his hairline. The Bond was still such a new thing, well, unheard of thing now, that no one really knew what to say, or think about it. I'd heard teachers and Guardians tossing ideas about it around every once in a while, but when nothing more had happened or new had been said about it after the day of the big reveal, the talking had stopped. Gossip couldn't continue without new fodder. And now I realized queasily, there was new fodder. But it was too late to think of that now.

"Go get a few more. We need to clear the area. These students need to be in class. And they," I nodded my head toward Rose and Vasalissa, "don't need an audience for this." I said the words firmly and when he started to look over at the crowd, I moved in his line of vision, reclaiming his full attention. "Do you understand?"

He nodded jerkily and turned. I thought of something else and sighed. It would not make my impending time any easier, but it might as well be gotten over with. I called him back and he turned, moving as awkwardly as a puppet on a string.

"Stevens. Go ahead and alert Kirova to what has happened as well. She will no doubt want to be here."

He nodded and sped off. I wondered too late if I should have asked for specific Guardians to be found, but then decided it didn't really matter. I turned my attention back to the girls. A Guardian by the name of Polix was heading over at speed. He nodded at me and started clearing the gaggle of students our show had acquired away. I was thankful he wasn't trying to find out what had happened first and he didn't so much as spare the two girls a single glance. He just got right to work. Polix was another one I didn't know very well, but if he was normally this efficient, I might have to change that.

I knelt down beside Vasalissa and put a hand on her shoulder. The sobs had slowed a bit, and she was no longer making Rose hold all of her weight. Rose was still stroking her hair lovingly and cooing to her, her voice warm and gentle and similar to what one would use on a wounded animal. Vasalissa jumped a slight bit when my hand touched her but she didn't protest its being there.

"Sshh, sshh. Its just Dimitri," Rose whispered to her. "No one is going to hurt you. You know I would never let anyone close enough to do that." I looked at Rose who had her eyes closed and was now hugging her friend tightly. I wondered why Vasalissa's first thought of a hand on her shoulder was someone wanting to hurt her. The realization that that had been the first place her mind went made my blood boil. I didn't know her very well yet, but Vasalissa was truly a sweet girl. Who could possibly have ever wished to harm her?

I swallowed down visions of finding that out and fixing it, violently, and made sure my own voice was gentle, mimicking Roses' tone. "Princess. Are you hurt?"

Vasalissa sniffled loudly, and I had a feeling Roses' shirt would need a few washings after this to be wearable again. Then she shook her head. "No, I'm not hurt…" she said in her sweet voice, so soft I could barely hear it.

"Is there someone nearby who tried to hurt you?" I asked now, looking to eliminate possibilities one at a time with easy, yes or no questions. We needed to get to the bottom of this quickly. Out of my peripheral I saw a couple more Guardians come up, and Polix had mostly succeeded in chasing students away and now the four of them had formed a perimeter around us, both to keep other audience members away and prevent any potential threat that caused this from coming back for more. I breathed a sigh of relief at this and focused my full attention on Vasalissa.

"No, but…" Vasalissa slowly picked her head up and tried to wipe her face clean. Rose quickly reached out and stopped her, then pulled the bottom of her own shirt up and sat up higher so she could use the cloth to clean Vasalissa's cheeks and dry her eyes for her. I watched this, keeping my face impassive, but I felt anything but. I was in awe of this mothering quality Rose was showing, like a hen taking care of her chick. I knew from reading their files that Rose was actually the younger of the two by a couple months. But clearly they both had established a long time ago who took care of who. I briefly wondered how far back that went. If it was because of the accident that had killed the Dragomirs, or if it went back further. Vasalissa sat meekly and allowed Rose to use her own shirt to wipe her clean. Then she discreetly tried to wipe her nose dry and looked embarrassed.

"Here, Princess. Use this," I said it quietly, pulling a handkerchief from my coat pocket and passing it to her. Rose gave me a weird look at that, studying my coat like it was a genie's bottle with all sorts of treasures in it. But really it was just passing luck.

Sonya had sent me monogrammed handkerchiefs for Christmas a few years back, with a note that said they were for my formal wear. At the time Ivan had been dragged into many political meetings, and I had been dragged with him. I hadn't put her gift to the use she'd intended. Instead I kept one in the pocket of every coat I had, my duster, my two formal uniform jackets and the thick down-filled parker I had for the middle of winter. I had actually done this with the intent of using them as bandages for any minor cut or scrape that could possibly happen. At the time, Ivan had harbored a (very brief) fascination with the idea of hiking and rock climbing. And as much as I loved him, he was not very graceful and tended to be accident prone with anything involving being outside. Sonya had sent me a set of 5, and within a week one of them had been ruined beyond saving when he'd tripped over a tree root and face planted, receiving a massive nose bleed as a thanks from mother nature for his participation. I had never removed them from the various pockets I'd placed them in, 2 years back. This was only the second time I'd needed one.

Vasalissa gave me a grateful smile, albeit a weak one, and in a very ladylike manner, blew all the snot out of her nose and wiped it clean. Grimacing, she folded the handkerchief up into a neat little square and handed it back to me with a guilty expression on her face. I kept my face solemn and straight as I took the square back and buried in the pocket it had come from. I would need to remember to wash that later.

Rose watched the exchange with a peculiar look on her face and then shook her head. "Lissa.. What happened?" She asked the girl gently, calling her face back to her own. Vasalissa took a deep breath and sighed.

"I…need to show you. I can't… it's too horrible to talk about." She said the words meekly, almost as if she felt bad for whatever it was. For being an inconvenience. I felt a huge rush to protect the little Moroi, who seemed to be too delicate to survive in our world. I knew now why Rose loved her so. Who wouldn't? This sort of sweet creature was like a unicorn. You might go your whole life and never see it. And if you did, you loved it and never forgot how it made you feel.

"Let me help you up, Princess," I said now, calmly but with confidence, and stood up, offering my arm. She accepted my offer and grasped my arm and I pulled her up. Rose kept a tight hold on her other hand, seeming unsure how to manage this - sharing Vasalissa's care with me.

"Where are we going Liss?" She asked now.

"My room." Whispered Vasalissa. Rose pinned her lips together and looked pissed at this but nodded.

"Let's go." The three of us walked to Vasalissa's room, with Polix, Stevens and Kruz following us.

"Kirova is on her way over here," Stevens murmured in my ear. He knew now about my frequent meetings with Kirova and the general tone that they were in, having joined Stan and Damien a few nights ago for one of our group sparring sessions. The other two had asked me about the meetings, trying to get me to complain about them, like they were, but I'd declined. It was unprofessional, I felt, but I also had been afraid if I got started I wouldn't stop. I'd learned long ago that I either had the control I needed, or I didn't. I wasn't one of those people who could walk the grey line down the middle. Stevens had been amused and appalled by the details he'd heard about the meetings. Now he wanted to give me the limited time he could to get myself braced for whatever would happen now.

We all walked into the small room, and as a single unit, gasped. On Vasalissa's bed someone had left a corpse. At first I thought it was a red-ish brown cat, but right after that I realized the tail was wrong. It was a fox. And it was clearly a corpse because no animal survived its throat being cut to the bone. The gash gaped open, wide and messy. Blood soaked the Princess' covers, made worse because her covers were white. The fox was placed in the exact middle of the bed, and it occurred to me that that felt just a tiny bit more sadistic than throwing it wherever. Like the person who did it wanted to make an art feature out of it.

Anger raged through me again. Who could possibly want to do something like this, and put it on Vasalissa's bed? Bad enough that they were willing to kill a small animal (one of the main signs of a sociopath as we all knew) but of all the students here… why her? Vasalissa looked like she'd never done or said a bad thing to hurt anybody. I studied the fox only briefly, and then looked at the others. Vasalissa was pale, too pale, and leaned on Rose for support, her eyes on the body of the fox, looking like she would burst back into tears… or maybe throw up. Hopefully not both. Rose looked outraged, and slightly green. She clearly was struggling with what was in front of her, and not just because it upset the most important person to her. She was also just sickened by the sight of it. But interestingly enough, she seemed to be forcing herself to look, to take it all in. The other Guardians looked angry, shocked and stunned. I looked around the room, wondering if there were any chance the person who had done it had left a clue.

I studied the room, and the clear division down the middle. Vasalissa's side was barren. Her room at the house had been homey, and organized. This room, or her side of it, showed none of the homey-ness of the house they'd lived in. Her school books and laptop and homework were neatly arranged on her desk and the small shelf above her bed. She had her clothes neatly hanging in the small closet, color coded. The dresser was presumably also neatly filled but none of the drawers were open. But there was nothing in here to suggest this was her space. Her covers and pillowcase were the plain white that came with the dorm rooms. The small desk lamp was as well. No rug, no slippers, no fun reading books, nothing of any sort to suggest a hobby. The small mirror and jewelry box that had been on her desk in the house were nowhere to be seen. Everything screamed that vasalissa was a visitor here. A visitor on short term stay. And this made me very nervous. After seeing this, would the two try and run away? Vasalissa had been the one to tell Rose to let them return, after all. And she appeared to not have put down any roots yet. Natalie's side was covered in pink and ruffles and framed photos. A stark contrast.

Suddenly Natalie came in before anyone could stop her, spotted the fox, and screamed painfully loudly and covered her mouth. All of us looked pained at the noise she'd made, and Kruz went to her, encouraging her to sit at her desk, and look at him, rather than the fox.

Suddenly I heard Kirovas voice in the hallway, demanding to know what was going on, why Rosemarie was not in classes like she ought to be, and all of us tensed. I gritted my teeth. We were in the Moroi dorm. Yet Kirova instantly blamed Rose and wanted to know why she was missing class. I found myself shifting in the room so I could take in Kirovas face when she stepped in and saw the fox. I was not disappointed.

At first, there were simply too many people in the room and we blocked her view purely by accident. When Kirova demanded to know what was happening, we all pointed at the bed, and she ordered the other 3 Guardians out into the hall. They did so, and as the last one stepped out, Kirova finally got a good look at the reason we all were here. She gasped, and stumbled a step before grabbing the desk to hold herself up. She stared at the fox and looked positively peaky. It was small of me, but I felt a certain amount of satisfaction at seeing her speechless. She spun around and stared at me, and the girls.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked sharply. She stared intently between the three of us.

"I don't know, Headmistress." I said, stepping forward protectively in front of the two hugging girls.

"I was coming back to get my books after breakfast." Vasalissa spoke up now for the first time since we'd come up stairs. "I opened the door and…it was just there. Bleeding." Her voice ended in a hush and fresh tears were welling up. Rose pulled Vasalissa towards Natalie's bed and made her sit down, much to my relief. I'd been about to suggest it.

Kirova looked sharply at us. "And you both were just here…to help her?" She asked disbelievingly. I fought back the urge to growl at her.

"Rose was with me, Headmistress. You might remember we have a practice time before breakfast." I said that sentence with a dry humor. Of course Kirov would remember. We talked about it every other day.

"Then how did you both end up in here?" She demanded now. She sounded furious, but I could see how shaken up she was. I thought it more likely she was furious at what had happened, and it was not really meant at us.

"Rose felt Vasalissa's unhappiness through the Bond. She knew where the Princess was and came running straight here to help her. When we got here, Vasalissa was outside and too upset to tell us what had happened. We only just came up here, minutes before you did."

I met Kirovas' disbelieving and slightly panicked gaze with my steady one_. 'Dare to tell me the Bond isn't real now,' _I thought silently. Ivan sighed at this and shook his head at me.

Kirova looked taken aback; as well she should, and looked to the other Guardians for confirmation.

"Its true Headmistress," Polix was speaking now, in a clipped but professional tone. "I saw Belikov standing guard over the princess outside this building. Hathaway was holding her while she was in hysterics. Neither of them knew what had happened, and he was preparing to defend her. When we saw no imminent threat, I got help and cleared out the group of students standing around and sent them off to class."

Kirova looked less disbelieving now than before, and continued interrogating the others. Meanwhile I was becoming aware of a frantic, whispered conversation between Rose and Vasalissa.

"It was still alive when I got back. Just..twitching….Oh God, it was so awful Rose. It must have suffered so much. I don't even know how long it was lying there, bleeding to death and in pain before I found it."

I looked over at them and shocked to see how wild-eyed Vasalissa was now. Rose looked alarmed to and grabbed her hands and squeezed them tightly.

"There was nothing you could do, Liss. Even if you found it sooner. You see it – there was no way the fox would have survived a cut like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see it, but you couldn't have changed anything."

Sound advice, I thought, looking back the arguing group in front of me, but still listening to the girls.

"did you..?" Rose started to ask something, and stopped. But clearly Vasalissa knew whatever the question had been because she answered instantly with no hesitation.

"No. I wanted to… I started too…"

"Then forget about it," Rose interrupted her rambles, and her voice was harsher than I'd ever heard her use, much less to Vasalissa. I looked over my shoulder at her, frowning. Then I saw how faraway Vasalissa looked right now, how out of her head she was. Rose gripped her hands tighter, turning Vasalissa's skin around her hold bone white. "It's stupid. Somebodies sick idea of a joke. They'll clean it up. You can probably even get a new room if you want, away from Natalie."

"Rose, do you remember…that one time?" Vasalissa stared at Rose, not hearing what she'd been saying. Rose looked panicked and cut her off again, glancing at the others to see if they'd heard. She didn't glance at me.

"Stop it. Forget about it. This isn't the same thing." She said it fiercely, trying to get the words through Vasalissa's ramblings. She didn't.

"What if someone saw? What if someone knows?" Vasalissa flinched now as Rose dug her nails into her arm.

"No. its not the same," she repeated, a little more loudly. "One does not have to do with the other. It has nothing to do with that. Do you hear me?" She spoke even louder on the last sentence. She looked at me now, and saw me looking. She also saw Natalie looking. She ignored our eye contact and turned back to Vasalissa and if anything sounded more desperate for her to shut up. What the hell were hey talking about? It made no senese…

"It's going to be ok. Do you hear me? It will." Vasalissa final stopped her ramblings and looked at Rose for a minute before launching herself into Roses' arms again and holding tight to her. Rose grunted in surprise but squeezed her back.

The matron from the downstairs desk pushed her head in the door now, about to tell what she thought was a large group of students in the room to get out, and I saw a crowd of Moroi girls hovering in the hallway, wanting to see what was happening. The matron gasped out at the sight and Kirova seemed to be annoyed and suddenly decided to take action.

"Get this cleaned up," She snapped to nobody in particular, but it was the matron who jumped up and left to find something to do just that with. Kirova's eyes landed on me, and then on Rose. "And get her back to her dorm and changed for classes." Her words were harsh, but they shook a little. She was more disturbed than she wanted to let on.

Rose grabbed Vasalissa and said no. She and Kirova went back and forth a few times before she turned to me furious. "Get your student out of here, and back to class!" she hissed at me, before stepping clumsily back as the matron returned with a black trash bag. I looked at Rose and nodded firmly to the door. She started to argue with me too but I pointed.

"Door. Out. Now." I said the words firmly, hiding the rage I'm feeling very well I thought. And one thing I'd learned from Alberta and verified by watching Rose and Stan, was that if you wanted her to hurry up and do something, you used words only a couple letters long.

Rose opened her mouth to argue, but Kirova had already ordered Kruz to take Vasalissa to the infirmary to see the nurse before also taking her to class. Knowing her battle was lost; Rose glared at Kirova and me with equal hate and then hugged Vasalissa so tight she might burst.

Finally we headed to her dorm across campus to let her change before I would escort her to class. The first one was already starting so she'd be late.

We walked in silence, consumed by our own dark thoughts about what had just happened. Rose looked just as preoccupied as I did. When we got to her dorm I stopped her.

"You know something about what happened." It was a guess, a suspicion only, but once I said it, it felt true and I wanted to know more. "Is this what you meant when you said Vasalissa was in danger?" Surely it had been.

Rose shook her head, frustrated. "No, I don't."

I frowned, not really believing her. "Look, we are on the same side here. We both want to protect her. Whatever you know, or think you know, you can tell me. I can't help keep her safe if you don't share your ideas with me." I needed her to see how true this was, how much she was potentially hurting Vasalissa by not treating me as her team member in a mutual mission. I stared at her, waiting for her to cave.

Rose sighed. "I don't know. I don't know anyone who would do something like this. You have to be a real psycho to do that to a person.."

"So you don't know anyone who would do it or why? Rose, this is serious." She scowled, and suddenly she was yelling at me. God, this girl was capricious.

"I know it's serious!" She screamed at me, and tears started running down her face. They were left over from the pent up worry and fear about Vasalissa. She ignored them and kept yelling. "It's all serous and you have me running laps everyday instead of teaching me. Teach me how to fight! If you want to help her, then teach me something useful!" Her voice cracked on the last word and when she finished, her voice was barely audible. "Teach me to fight," she said again. "I already know how to run away"

She stared up at me, still oblivious to the tears dripping down. I watched her for a long moment. There was such passion in her words, her face, her motivation. I found myself wanting to pull her in and hold her for a minute. Comfort her the way had Vasalissa. She was so upset. She stared at me and I watched the flood of emotions die down into simple sadness and despair.

"Come on," I said finally. "Time to get ready for class."


	14. Chapter 14

The remainder of the day, well, that whole week, was filled with people talking about the fox. Thankfully it was a fantastic story on its own, so no one really seemed too hung up on how Rose and I had found Vasalissa. I didn't think either girl was ready for that to be made public yet. For now Kirova and Alberta had agreed it was best to keep that knowledge with the people who already knew until we had a better understanding of how the Bond worked. Personally, I didn't see how we would ever have a better understanding of how it all worked. We knew nothing about it. But the girls didn't need the extra pressure of an entire high school of curious students asking them about it, especially Vasalissa, so I was glad the secret seemed to be intact still, at least from the students and a large portion of the staff.

Vasalissa was miserable. I saw it every time I passed her around campus. Rose and I both wished they had more classes together, because that's who she drew her strength from and nowadays she always looked alone and sad and weak. Not weak precisely. Fragile was a better word. Rose complained bitterly to me during our practices now, but it was always the same thing. The other students wouldn't stop talking about the fox and their own theories on what had happened there. And they made sure to say all of them loudly to their friends whenever Vasalissa walked by. It was cruel, and when I was around, I would make sure to catch the talker's attention and stare them down until they stopped and walked away. I never needed to say anything. This was one time when my size and reputation was working in my favor. After the first few times Vasalissa noticed me doing it, and started to give me a small smile of thanks whenever I was able to scare them away.

I knew Rose hovered around her as much as she could, and was doing her own intimidating acts to try and make it stop, or at least make a shield of Rose Brazenness for her to hide behind. I heard from the other Guardians multiple times a day how Rose was starting one argument after another with the other students, usually royals, on Vasalissa's behalf, trying to get them to stop talking about it, to ignore her. It made me grit my teeth with nervousness because she wouldn't be able to stay here if any of the arguments turned physical, but my guys were on their game helping me. More than a few times when they overheard an argument start to get too heated, they would casually walk nearby, and the students, not wanting to get into trouble, would melt away.

Kirova was up all our asses trying to find out what who had been responsible for it, but there were no answers for her. The video feed of the front entrance to the dorm showed nothing, and there were no cameras in the dorms themselves. No one seemed to have seen anything, not even Natalie, who also lived in the room. The best we could do was narrow down a small time window where the act must have been committed, but that was not much of a help. So Kirova went about her duties in a royally bad mood, and took it out on everyone: the Dhampires and the Moroi teachers, even Alberta, with whom she had a long history of working well with, although I suspected that was only because Alberta controlled her tongue not because they really got on well.

I had been reamed out for over an hour and I hadn't even been there. But Kirova implied I should have been because Vasalissa was my official charge while Rose was simply another student. I had expected this though, and managed to make it through that meeting fairly calmly, despite the ridiculousness of Kirova's words. I brought up multiple times that in reality, I was only Vasalissa's official Guardian off of campus and that otherwise, my primary role here was as Roses' mentor, which is the role I'd been in at the time the act had been committed. I was secretly glad that had been the case. I was sure Rose would have been blamed and expelled otherwise. But she had been with me from before Vasalissa left the room for breakfast, until after the fox had been found. And even Kirova wasn't willing to doubt my word on that.

I was on my way to lunch when Yuri suddenly fell into step beside me. Yuri was the only other Guardian around here who was quieter than me when he moved. When I'd first got here the other Guardians had teased Yuri about how someone was finally better than him at sneaking up on people until he had proposed a good natured competition with me one night to settle it once and for all. He had won, and that was how we had become friends and started getting together to train. He'd been the first one I felt I could learn to be comfortable around, even before Stan.

I nodded at him and slowed my pace. He slowed with me. He had a smile on his face and I was curious to see what he was about to tell me. No one had smiled much the last 3 days, especially among the Guardians.

"Do you know what your little protégé got up to this morning?" he asked me, smile growing. I should have known it would be about Rose.

"I can't imagine." I said honestly. "Did it involve her punching anyone on Vasalissa's behalf? Or a copious amount of swear words in Kirova's presence?" I was not joking with either of these suggestions and I hoped he would say no.

"No. Although she's probably not far from either of them." Yuri admitted.

'_Great. It was going so well.. and soon it'll be over.'_

'_Don't be so overdramatic.'_ Ivan chided_. 'have some faith in her Belikov. She deserves to be outraged on her friends behalf. But she hasn't done anything against the rules so far. You don't give her enough credit.'_

"What then?" I asked Yuri, letting Ivan know I was ignoring him.

"She won her first three matches in group practice." Yuri gave me a big smile. "You're doing wonders with her Belikov. She didn't even rub it in their faces. Much."

"Really? Do you remember what she did that was successful?" This was exciting news. I'd looked in on her group combative class last week and the one before that and she had been taken down and submitted easily, over and over. I was about ready to go around and collect notes from her teachers on what exactly needed the most help, so we could start putting more martial training into our practices, but I was stumped on how to add it in. She needed the conditioning and endurance still. I was at a loss on how to fit in a large enough section of time to give her the reps she needed to improve, without slacking on her strength training. Maybe alternate days. But she needed to keep running every day for the endurance. We could do the weights right after and spend the evening practice on the martial skills, but then she'd miss most of breakfast.

Yuri waved a hand in front of my face and I realized I'd spaced out on him, so deep in thought about rearranging our practices. "Sorry," I said apologetically. "I'm trying to decide the best way to fit the combatives into our practice times. I've been going over it for the last few days and I'm not satisfied with any of the solutions I've come up with."

Yuri gave me a knowing look. "The last few days huh? Since the incident?" I nodded. Yuri put his hands in his pockets. "I don't think I can help you there. Are you sure you need to change anything? She won three times today. The hard work you two have been putting in is starting to pay off. Maybe you just need to give it more time."

"No. We need to add more in. Two years Yuri. I have to make up two years of practice time for her. Her classmates are beating her so much because they have hundreds of hours more practice and experience than she does." Yuri looked a little grim as I said this. I shrugged. "I'll figure it out. You were saying? How did she win the matches?"

Yuri studied me for a second then shook away whatever thought he'd had. "Yeah. First one, she just blitz attacked. Landed the first punch and kept going until Morana called break. Second one was the one I was watching. She got a sloppy double leg, but she got on top immediately and got a pin before Ashford could stop it. The last one I missed, but I heard Morana congratulating her. Her whole class did, after it was all over. They were pretty proud of her." He looked at me and smiled now. "By the look on your face, they're not the only ones."

I realized I was smiling as he told me about her victories. Not a small smile, but a large open one. I forced it down to a smaller one and shook my head. "I would have liked to have seen it. I'm glad she got a victory today. She's been working hard." Right as I said this Damien came striding up to me quickly. Yuri and I both looked at him.

"Dimitri. You won't believe what happened in Ms. Meissners class just now." He stopped suddenly, looking guiltily at Yuri and said meekly, "I'm interrupting aren't I?"

Yuri waved his hand. "No, go ahead. I'd like to hear this." Damien looked anxiously at me, making sure it was ok and I smiled gently at him. His desire to be approved of by the both of us was awkward for me. Yuri and Stan handled it gracefully and never teased him the way I think they would some of the others like Sadowsky. They could see Damien was a gentle sort of soul, one to whom embarrassment was extremely hurtful, and they treated him indulgently, like a favorite nephew. To me, I felt Damien was more his natural self when it was just the two of us. I was unsure how to handle this anxiousness he brought with him when the others were there as well. Stan and Yuri had picked up on my discomfort and had started teasing me about it when Damien was nowhere nearby.

He continued, now that both of us had given the go ahead. "Christian Ozera set Ralf Sarcozy on fire!"

He had us both stumped at that. Shock and uncertainty that we had heard him correctly was clear on both our faces.

"Why hasn't there been an alarm? Did someone put him out before he was injured? Has he been expelled?" Yuri asked first, beating me to it. Damien looked back and forth between both of us. I could see from his smile that he had been in the classroom firsthand to witness this. He knew something we didn't.

"It was offensive magic!" he whispered now, like a kid at a slumber party. "He lit him up and Ralf jumped up and ran up the aisle, and when Ms. Meissner told him to put it out, he did, but there were no marks! No burns, not even on his clothes! But he passed right by me. It was real flame, not an illusion. I felt the heat!"

Yuri and I exchanged looks. This was a serious accusation. Offensive magic use was a huge issue in the political world right now, and Christians Aunt was one of the forefront people advocating the use of it. I knew Tasha since we were kids, and I knew why she was so vocal about her beliefs that the Moroi should start training it again. I'd heard whispers that she had a group whom she'd been teaching. This proved it was more than just a rumor. Christian had lived with her ever since his parents had been killed. He saw her every break. I suddenly wondered how much she'd been able to teach him.

Yuri looked like he was doing some fast thinking too, although I wasn't sure if it was along the same lines as mine. We kept looking at each other while he asked Damien the next question. "Why did he do it? In the middle of class? He stays pretty low on the radar because of what happened.. I don't think he's gotten in real trouble for years. Just his grades being low because he doesn't like to turn in his work."

Damien looked anxiously at me. "One of the girls in the class started asking about … foxes.. and looking at Vasalissa." Both Yuri and my eyes snapped to him at this.

"Openly? During class? Or whispered it?" I asked him, wanting to get the full story from him before I confronted Rose about it tonight. I knew this was one of the few classes they shared.

"Openly." Damien hesitated and continued. "Then Ralf said Rose killed the fox and put it on her bed. That it was a lesbian voodoo thing because of her love for the Princess." Both Yuri and I dropped our jaws at that one. I was shocked. I knew high school kids were rough on each other, but this surprised me.

"In front of ? Loud enough for everyone to hear?" I asked him again, needing to make sure.

"Yes. The whole class heard. So did she. Then Ozera lit him on fire. And laughed at him." Damien looked like he didn't know whether he should preen from our undivided attention or duck his head.

"Well." Yuri finally said after a full minute of silent processing. "I think Sarcozy deserved it." I nodded and Damien nodded even harder. "And he didn't actually hurt him?" Yuri looked hard at Damien. "You saw him after, and for sure, there wasn't a single burn on him?"

"Yes. Nothing. Not his clothes either. He smelled like smoke though. Of course, he usually does anyway." Damien added. Ralf and Jesse's cigarettes were well known about. They were against the rules and we kept confiscating them whenever we caught them at it, but we knew they always had more.

"Well." Yuri said, looking back at me, face serious. "I guess we know Lady Ozera is serious about her crusade." I nodded slowly.

"I need to write to her. Find out more about what they're doing at home. And make sure she knows about this, although," I grimaced. "I'm sure Kirova will be doing that herself."

"If there was no damage, he shouldn't get into too much trouble." Yuri noted thoughtfully. "That was very smart. That's the kind of thinking that sounds like Tasha." I nodded also, troubled because I agreed with him. It had Tasha written all over it. I would write to her immediately, and suggest that she tell her nephew to refrain from that sort of thing at school. Their lives were hard enough because of his parent's deaths; he didn't need to be expelled from school also.

"What did Rose do?" I asked suddenly.

"She jumped on the Princess when Ralf was lit up, and dragged her to the floor and lay over her." Damien told me. Yuri looked at me again.

"That girl will either make a fantastic Guardian or a good firefighter." He half joked with me.

I grimaced. "I think the former." Yuri nodded, now looking thoughtful.

"I'm starting to think so too."

We all went our separate ways and I finished my rounds and went to the gym a little earlier than normal to wait for Rose to get there. I wanted to get my thoughts in order before I talked to her tonight. I needed the conversation to go smoothly.

She stomped in and threw her bag down with a vengeance. I paused, my mouth halfway open and closed it. This was not starting out on the right note at all. I watched her as she walked over to the dummy left out after the last class of the day and started kicking it over and over. After a few minutes it looked like she wasn't planning to stop anytime soon so I took a seat on the nearby bleacher and waited. She kicked it some more for a while, then screamed at it and started punching it. Watching her, I started making mental notes on things to fix with her technique to help her improve. Which got me started on trying to figure out how to fit the needed training in in a useable way. I tuned her out for a bit while I ran options through my head. The problem was, it was the same three options I'd been going over for three days, and none of them were good enough for me.

Her screaming at the dummy again brought me back to the present. I raised an eyebrow as she finally wore herself out from hitting it, and collapsed unceremoniously onto the floor in front of it. She panted and shoved a piece of her hair back that was sticking to the sheen of sweat she'd worked up on her face. She looked over at me, still heaving, and glared.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked it angry and challenging, looking to pick a fight with me. I wasn't going to play her game though.

"Like what?"

"Like…like…all… one eye brow up and shit." She finally managed, gesticulating with her hands while her brain tried to find the words to describe what she meant. She looked less than thrilled with what she'd finally come up with. I raised it further.

"That! That right there! You only do that whenever you think I'm being stupid!"

I lowered it and looked at her seriously and crossed my leg over my knee. "I don't think you're being stupid. I'm quite pleased you came in here and took it all out on the dummy instead of Ralf."

My guess must have been right because she looked truly shocked for a second, then angry again. But not at me. "You heard? You heard what he said?"

"I heard he said you killed the fox." Among other things.

"Yeah. And that I was her lesbian lover. And that he wanted to have sex with me. And that everyone knows everyone has had sex with me. And that it was some sort of voodoo-"

I raised my hands up to stop her. My head swam with the aggressive way she'd said…all that…and I thought it probably wasn't a good idea to let her get worked up again.

"I heard. It was uncalled for."

"Uncalled for?" Her voice was louder now. "Dimitri, it was awful! You should have seen her face! You should have _felt_ what Lissa felt when he said that! And Mia! She was even worse. At least Ralf was talking to me. Mia said everything to Lissa. She almost_ cried_!" Rose stood up now and started pacing frantically.

I didn't miss the words 'you should have felt' that she'd used. She'd been doing it more and more with our talks lately. I was starting to think I needed to learn everything I could from her about this Bond. How it worked. I really needed to learn more about being in her head, because that one was scary. I was horrified by how completely unresponsive and vulnerable it left Roses' body. I decided I needed that information today. As much of it as she would give me anyway.

But first she needed to calm down. I uncrossed my leg and leaned forward, elbows on my knees. "Rose." She kept pacing and was muttering under her breath now. It sounded like creative death threats. "Rose," I said more firmly. She shook her head at me and punched the dummy again. "Rosemarie."

She spun on me and glared daggers. "That's not my name. I don't answer to it Dimitri." She hissed the words at me. I gave her my best serious face and pointed at the seat next to me.

"Have a seat Rose. We need to talk."

She snorted. "Then talk away master." She told me sarcastically and went back to pacing.

"Now. Rose." I said it in my firmest voice, the one that Victoria would respond to every time when we were kids and I told her to get out of my room. The only voice she would respond to. She always pouted with it though. Rose glared at me some more and we stared without blinking. She blinked first and stomped over and slung herself down. I restrained a sigh, barely, and turned to face her.

"What do you want to talk about?" Rose grumbled. She wasn't looking at me.

"I'm proud of you." I said. I watched her as the words sunk in. She slowly went from scowling at the far wall to sitting up straight like a normal person would, and turned to look at me. Her face looked disbelieving.

"What?"

"I'm proud of you. You've been doing your best to keep Vasalissa safe this whole time. Mostly from people's words. And that's one of the hardest things to fight. One of the hardest things to protect someone from. Words. And ever since you guys came back-"

"Got dragged back," she muttered, but the venom wasn't there.

"-You've been doing it for her. And now the words are worse than before. But you're still doing everything you can; but you haven't," I paused, and repeated the word for emphasis. "_haven't_ resorted to violence to do it."

"I wanted to." She told me frankly. She made a habit of interrupting anyone when she was upset, but I'd decided a few weeks back not to be bothered by it.

"I know. But you're on probation, so you didn't. You came in here and let it out in a healthy way. And when Ozera lit him on fire, you jumped on Vasalissa to keep her safe, because you didn't know what was going to happen."

"Her name is Lissa, you know. I keep telling you that." She was watching me now with a peculiar look on her face. I knew now, after working with her so much, that these comments she made didn't mean she hadn't been listening like I'd initially thought. So I continued where I'd left off.

"I'm proud of you. You acted like her Guardian today, in every way. Not like a kid." We looked at each other full on now and let it go on for a while. Her face slowly relaxed as we sat, looking, and she finally let out a low sigh. I felt the tension she'd come in with leave, and the anger with it. It would come back soon, but for now, she was letting it go. Another thing I was proud of. She was starting to learn to control her emotions. I knew better than most what an important lesson that was.

"I don't know what else to do," she finally said, her voice small. "I can't protect her from everything. I can't make people stop talking. And I can't protect her from Christian. Protect us from him." She trailed off on that bit and I frowned. Had Christian threatened them?

"What do you mean? Did he do something else?" she looked up, and I think she realized she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"He said some things alright." She was talking softly now, but not happily. "Not to me, to Liss. But I heard because… because I can."

"Tell me about that." I coaxed. "Help me to understand how that works."

Rose shook her head and wrapped her arms around her like she was cold. "I don't know how to explain it. Most of the time, I just know what she's feeling. Like, instead of feeling hot and cold or wet and dry, I feel her feelings. Like sad and mad and embarrassed…other things." She paused, looking hesitant. I nodded slowly, showing her I understood her so far, at least, the best I could. I hoped she'd go on.

"And, when she talks to me, like, to me specifically, I can hear her words. In my head. Like she's right there saying them, except they don't go through my ears. Most of the time, I can't hear every word she thinks. I mean, I can, mostly, if I want to. If I really pay attention. But I always hear when she's talking straight to me."

Rose looked at me, uncertain. "I believe you." I said gently. She looked so relieved; I knew I'd said the right thing. I clasped my hands together and put my elbows on my knees again, bringing me a little closer to her height, and hopefully less intimidating.

"Tell what you meant, the other day. When you said sometimes you're in her head."

Rose sighed deeply. "I don't… it's hard to explain."

"Try. You explained the other stuff well."

"She hates it," Rose said quietly, and now she pulled a foot up and was picking at the laces on her tennis shoe. "She doesn't know when I'm there. She can't feel me. It used to only happen whenever..whenever she was really, really happy, or scared. Just, really strong emotions. I get sucked in, and suddenly, I'm her. I'm in her body, I'm thinking and feeling all her thoughts, and I can see and hear everything she sees and hears…and it's like there's no me. There's no Rose. And I can't get out, until she lets me. But she hates when it happens, and gets mad at me. Even though it used to be an accident."

"Used to be." I commented, probing for a further explanation. She looked up at me, and I swear she looked guilty.

"I did it today. On purpose. For the first time." My eye brows shot up to my hairline. That was unexpected.

"Did you know you could do that?"

"No! I just…thought I'd try it. Because, I knew she was going to try and talk to Christian after…after what happened…and I wanted to see what happened. I wanted to be sure she was safe."

"Christian didn't hurt the other guy. I doubt he would hurt Vasalissa." I commented.

"He set Ralf on fire." Rose snapped, grinding the words between her teeth. "What is wrong with everyone, that you guys can't understand how crazy he is? I mean, who does that? Sociopaths do that! And they were alone together! I had to make sure!"

I blinked at the sudden fire in her eyes. I didn't know Christian very well, but I knew Tasha. And I knew she wouldn't raise Christian to hurt people.

"Ralf wasn't hurt, Rose." I said gently. "Did he hurt Vasalissa?"

Rose looked at the far wall again for a long time before answering. "Not yet. But he will. He's just waiting, I think. He's figured some things out, and I think he's just waiting for the right time to say them." She chewed her lip and I could tell she really was nervous.

I thought about what she said. "Things like.. while you two were gone?" I asked quietly, looking to confirm my suspicions. Rose shrugged, but it was an almost defeated shrug.

"Yeah… among other things."

Other things? What other things could there be? I started to ask her but she looked at me and her face closed down. I wasn't getting anything more from her tonight.

"I keep telling Lissa to stay away. That I don't trust him. She won't listen. So I guess I'll have to keep spying on her. She thinks she can trust him."

"And you don't." I knew that, but wanted to say it anyway.

"No. Not one bit." She sighed and rubbed her temples viciously with her knuckles.

"Lets do this Dimitri. I'm ready to go to bed." She stood up and tapped her foot impatiently. I studied her for a few seconds then decided that I'd gotten enough answers for the night. The answers only gave me more questions, but I knew Rose probably didn't have any more answers than I did. She and Vasalissa were guessing with all this too and learning as they went along.

"Alright Rose. It's back day. Let's see how those pull ups are coming along."


	15. Chapter 15

It was right after my session with rose when Alberta called a meeting with all us Guardians. We were all crammed into the conference room which was really only designed to comfortably fit around 30 people. I walked in with only a few seconds to spare since I was the only one coming from working right before, but I'd needed to spend those last few minutes with Rose.

She'd been so upset when she'd first come in, and even though by the time she was done with her workout I thought she was too tired to get upset again, I'd still followed her to her dorm at a discrete distance, to make sure she really ended up in it. She'd looked sad as she walked towards it, not knowing I was a ways behind her. Now that I knew the signs a little bit better, I could tell she was mentally checking in with Vasilisa to see how she was doing. Rose had sighed and looked towards the part of campus with the Moroi dorms and must not have liked what she felt, because it was after that that her steps were slow and her shoulders slumped. But she went into her dorm without hesitation.

I watched another moment; to be sure she didn't come back out then walked quickly to the meeting. I'm planned on standing by the door against the wall since it was standing room only, but as I moved to do so Damien and Sadowsky both waved at me. Stand and Yuri stood straight-faced behind the two youngsters watching my arrival. I returned their bland looks as I walked to where the 4 of them stood in the back and saw how the younger two lit up with joy as I came to them, and the older two now wore amused expressions on their faces. It gave me a strange sense of déjà vu as I walked, like I was back in school, joining my friends at the lunch table. I could tell by Stan and Yuri's faces that they were getting the same mental image and were trying not to laugh. Sadowsky and Damien looked around proudly as I stood in the middle of the group, thrilled that everyone saw me coming to stand with them. I traded a wry grin with Yuri and shook my head at Stan as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Not a word. Not one." I told him sternly, my amusement still showing through. I inclined my head at the two youths in front of us. Stan opened his mouth to speak anyway just as Yuri gave into his urge to laugh a little bit, but thankfully Alberta chose that moment to walk in and call the group to order. We all looked straight ahead at her.

"Attention guardians. Stop your yapping. I'm calling this meeting to order." She said it with a dose of humor, but the authority in her voice was unmistakable and undeniable. The whole group, 50 or so of us, stopped talking instantly and waited. She nodded her approval and began.

"Now, all of you are aware of what happened in the Moroi dorms a couple days ago." She paused and general affirmations were given. "As you also know, the security tapes show nothing out of the ordinary and they were not tampered with. The only explanation is that this act was committed by someone with access to the dorm."

"So, everyone on campus!" one of us called out. I didn't see who; there were too many bodies in the way. The group mumbled their affirmations again. Alberta held up her hands.

"I know that doesn't help much. It could be a student, a teacher or one of you. And since it was during breakfast when the dorms were open, we can't even say it was definitely one of the Moroi. It doesn't narrow things down for us."

"How do we know it wasn't Hathaway?" A different voice this time, and several others made sounds of agreement. I stiffened and tried to look casually around to see who had spoken, but again, too many of us were crammed in here, and I couldn't tell. Yuri put a gentle hand on my shoulder in warning. Stan shook his head at me, a tiny motion that nonetheless spoke loudly to me. Damien gave me a look of pity while Sadowsky looked around outraged. My A-team, I suddenly realized in surprise. Or my posse. I had somehow acquired an actual, legitimate team of co-workers who supported and stood by me. I'd worked with plenty of people in my few years in this life, but never had I had this. I was too much of a loner, and Ivan and I moved around too much. I had many acquaintances and no real compatriots. Until now it seemed. This sudden feeling of unity that was being given to me so freely was a bit overwhelming.

'_And you said you didn't have friends,'_ Ivan said now. I refrained from arguing with him that even this wasn't the same as what he and I had had, that it still wasn't as close as the two of us had been, where there were no secrets, and we knew each other's every thought and there was never the possibility of being judged for us being open about anything to the other. But I couldn't have that argument again with Ivan right now. I knew he only wanted the best for me, to help me move on, but I wasn't ready to, and right now I had more important things to do than argue over it with him. I had to hear what was being said about Rose. It felt like Kirova all over again, only worse. It felt like a betrayal because it came from one of our own.

"She was with her mentor during the only time this event could have occurred. I'm sure you all know who that is." There was more murmuring at Alberta's words and every head in the room turned to look at me. My posse stood next to me, steady and unflinching. Yuri and Stan looked straight ahead like the seasoned professionals they were. Damien and Sadowsky met the looks right back with attitude and energy, like the offended young fans they were. I wanted to shift my stance under all the sudden scrutiny, but resisted. I'd done nothing wrong, and neither had she. I met the looks calmly and confidently, to all appearances.

"He says she was with him the whole time. Would anyone like to challenge him on his word?" Alberta asked the group at large now and there was contained anger in her words. She spoke them loudly, and the whispers instantly died down. No one would meet her eyes or mine now. I looked at her and around at everyone else. "Guardian Belikov has an exemplary record. All of you know the extra hours he has been putting in in addition to his regular shifts that all of you have, 6 days a week, for the last month to work with Hathaway. You all know the terms Kirova set for her to stay and she has complied. Do any of you have knowledge of a time since her return that she has broken those guidelines?" More silence. "Do any of you have knowledge of a time when Belikov has been dishonest with any of you?" More silence, but heavier. She was using her sternest lecture voice by now and the volume of her words grew further as she finished. "You are all Guardians, not high school rumor mills. All you have is your reputations and each other to rely on in this job. That's it. If you will not respect and support your own, in this Academy, I will have you reassigned by the Guardian council."

This was a serious threat. To be brought before the council as being deemed unfit for any assignment was a major black mark on your record, and severely lowered the odds of getting a favorable one in the future. Not only that, but Alberta's name carried a lot of weight with the council. Careers were made and broken at this point in her career by her recommendation, or refusal to give one. Her personally putting someone in front of the council as being unfit for duty under her command was no small thing. The entire group looked cowed at this point, and most of them quite fascinated with their shoes or the ceiling. There were others that were nodding along with her as she spoke, her words putting fire in their belly. It was mostly the younger ones, including my two. Yuri still had his hand on my shoulder; now he squeezed it gently and released me. Stan was looking straight at Alberta still but he radiated approval at her message. He hated the gossiping also.

"If any of you have any questions for Guardian Belikov, regarding his student or the event in question, you will ask them now. Once we dismiss for the night I do not want to hear any more speculation about it. We are Guardians. We deal with_ facts_." I was stunned she said this. Alberta had just put me on the spot with now warning, and I stared at her. She ignored me. "The floor is now open. Don't forget to raise your hands." She said this dryly. "Only one question at a time will be answered."

She scowled down at everyone now, and looked quite imposing. She was shorter than half the Guardian's in here, but as always you wouldn't think it by looking at her. Alberta knew how to look larger than life. She pointed now at someone.

"Guardian Allen. Speak."

I couldn't see the speaker but I knew the name. And I heard the question.

"How did you guys find out so fast? Kruz said you two found the Princess right after she saw it. That's really what's got us wondering. I won't doubt your word Dimitri. You've never lied to me. If you say she was with you when it happened then I believe you. But how did you guys find out so fast?"

I looked anxiously at Alberta unsure what to do or say. She waved me to come stand by her at the front and face everyone. I didn't want to, but what I wanted didn't matter. So I went and as I got close to her, whispered quickly in her ear.

"Alberta, what are we doing? Do I tell the rest of them about the Bond?" I looked her straight in the eyes, letting my concern and confusion show instead of the mask. Alberta nodded at me. Her answer was as quiet as my question had been.

"We need to. We'll keep it from the students for a while longer, but I've told Kirova we can't keep it from the other Guardians any longer. What if Rose hadn't been with you when it happened? Who would have believed her? They need to know." We traded heavy looks and I sighed and nodded. She clapped me once on the shoulder in support and dropped her hand. Alberta was never one for big public displays, affectionate or otherwise. You knew you were in real trouble is she pulled you aside to discipline privately.

So I turned to face my co-workers. Damien looked like most of them did – perplexed. Sadowsky gave me an encouraging smile and thumbs up, even though he had no idea what was coming. He really was an abnormality among us. I didn't think I'd ever seen another one so relaxed and just damn happy all the time. Yuri looked curious. Stan was the only one in our group I'd told, and he realized immediately what Alberta wanted me to do. His eyes flicked to her and back to me in surprise. I took a deep breath and addressed the rest of the room.

"As you all know, I have been assigned to Vasilisa as her Personal Guardian. I was asked to head up a team to retrieve them once they were located." I took the time to make eye contact with each of the ones who'd agreed to go with me. They nodded.

"While doing surveillance, I noticed several things that could only be explained by a Bond, shared between the two of them." I stopped now, knowing what would come next and not wanting to fight to be heard above it. I was right. The whole room suddenly burst into words. Questions, exclamations, refusals. Alberta allowed this to go on for about 30 seconds then held up her hand for silence. That was it, no words, just her hand gesture. And because she had absolute authority in this room, the talking stopped. It was by far the highest testament to the level of respect she commanded around here that I'd seen. I was extremely impressed.

"Continue, Guardian Belikov." She told me, still holding her hand up and scanning the group in slow deliberate runs.

"She knows was Princess Vasilisa is thinking and feeling, always." I continued without preamble. "She knows where the princess is at all times and what is happening around her. That is how she knew when Vasilisa found the fox. She felt the fear and sadness in her and ran to find her."

The group started to talk again, but again, a single hand gesture form Alberta silenced it.

"Rose did not know what had happened, only that the princess was extremely upset and scared. So she assumed she was in danger and ran to protect her. I went too of course. Once we got there, she was crying too hard to say what happened, only that it was in her room. So we all went and looked. That was the first time we saw it." I finished and looked at Alberta, not knowing what to do or say next. She took over and looked at the group.

"I know this is news to most of you. It was unexpected for us as well. You may ask questions, one at a time. Guardian Belikov will answer all of them." I bit back a groan and disbelieving look I wanted to send her. We were going to be in this crowded, overheated room for a while. Maybe all night, now that she said that.

"How do you know it's really a Bond? There's no such thing anymore! Hathaway just made it up from the stories to mess with all of us!" I thought that voice belonged to Andrews. I shook my head.

"It's not trick. When I observed them, before bringing them in, before she knew we were there, they were asleep. Vasilisa had a nightmare. Rose knew and woke up and ran to her, from a different room and woke her up. There is no other explanation for how she would know that. I have also observed Vasilisa talking silently to Rose and Rose answering out loud. They have had several conversation that way in my presence, both when they knew I was there, and not. Also, Guardian Andrews, anyone who has watched the two of them for even a few minutes can see how much they care for each other. Vasilisa would never participate in such an extended prank, and Rose would never do anything to hurt her. Seeing the fox upset her very much. Rose has no motive to do something like that to her."

The reactions in the group to my answer were mixed. Some believed, some did not, some were simply confused.

"How did it happen? The Bond? Why now, when it's been centuries?" This was from one of the female Guardians, Morana.

"We don't know. We don't know much about it. You're right, it's been centuries." I shrugged, but inwardly I was fuming that I didn't have better answers. The girls wanted answers to, but who could possibly answer them for us? Even back in the past when these Bonds were more common, they were still rare, and not well understood then. "The girls don't know much more than you do. Or me." I said now. "They're just trying to figure it out as they go along."

The questions continued, for a long time. Once they were clearly just repeating ones that had already been answered, I sent Alberta a desperate look and she nodded, stepping in to rescue me.

"I think we've made it clear that we do not know much about this phenomenon. However, it is real, and anyone who sees Rose and Vasilisa like this in future will take it seriously. Also, because of the violence of the fox event, we are considering it to be a hate crime. We don't know who is behind it, but we are tightening up patrols and other means of security. Which is the real reason I called this meeting. Get comfortable, we have quite a few points to go over."

With that, I was dismissed to go back to my group, which I in did in relief. My posse clustered to me like glue the second I was back, unsurprisingly.

"Dude, that is beyond cool. You get to be personal Guardian to the last Dragomir and you get to see the first Bond in centuries up close every day. That's crazy. You have such a cool life." Sadowsky whispered to me excitedly. I gave him a weak smile, and watched Stan roll his eyes behind Sadowsky's head. Stan was easily annoyed by the kids enthusiasm. Well, I was too, but I handled it a bit better.

"You knew this whole time?" Yuri asked me now, giving me an appraising look. He glanced at Stan. "And so did he?"

Stan and I nodded. "He asked me to help him do some research on it, to try and understand it and its limitations better," Stan admitted. "I thought, he had so many extra hours he was doing as it was that I could spare a few a weeks to help him research our histories." The others were ogling him now, curious to know what he'd learned. He shook his head. "Nothing that you didn't already hear while Dimitri was speaking. There's not a lot of information out there. And what is out there is pretty much all the same." They looked disappointed, and then focused on Alberta as she called attention again.

Damien kept looking at me though and his face radiated hurt. I sighed internally and signaled for him to lean in and say it already. I couldn't take the looks anymore.

'_Softy.'_ Ivan smiled.

'_Oh shut up.'_

"Why didn't you tell me?" Damien asked me in a whisper. It clicked right after he spoke what the hurt looks were about. "I thought we were friends? You didn't trust me?" he gave me an accusing look now. I tried to find a good answer for this, but really there was none.

"I do trust you. I just didn't know what to think when I realized what it was. And then we had to convince Kirova it was real. And after that, I was put in charge of Rose, and it's just been a lot. I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because I felt like I didn't have enough information. All I really have is a lot of questions about and no way to answer them." He looked at me and I could see I wasn't quite forgiven. But he nodded and looked back at Alberta and we all listened to the new, stricter plan for campus security.


	16. Chapter 16

Our training session the next morning was done in our usual almost silence, but it wasn't the relaxed silence I liked and had gotten used to. Rose was in a depressed mood, and I was sure it had to with how Vasilisa was feeling. We ran together, like we did every time now and I had started her on extra plyometrics the previous week, concentrating on the exercises that would make her movements more explosive.

I had a meeting with Kirova today about her progress again, and I was planning on using it to ask for extra hours to train her, so we could also work on the combatives applications. It was definitely time, and there was no other way I could see to keep the conditioning she needed, and have enough time left over to do anything really productive in that area. I let the silence go on, after my "Good morning" was met with a mere nod, while we ran and she went through the new exercises I'd given her, and I timed her response time because my own thoughts were too full of what I was going to say to Kirova in a few hours. And Alberta. I would have to get her approval also. And we'd have to adjust my schedule again, which would also mean adjusting some of the other Guardians schedules again. I anticipated have to do some major convincing to get this to happen. I'd lain awake half the night last night going over it all in my head, and the best way to approach the idea, to both women.

But the silence continued, even as we started our cool down stretches together and I looked at her concerned. Normally she was quiet first thing in the morning, but by this time, she was always making sarcastic comments about something, or complaining about homework or tests. Or hell, lately she'd been telling me about the boys she was flirting with, and how much fun it was to see their expressions to some of the things she said. I hated those conversations, and tried my best not to say anything to her about them, not wanting to come across too harsh. I didn't want to put the weight of my career because of her good behavior on her because I wanted her to decide on her own to be better. It also wasn't her burden to bear and I didn't tell her about the Guardians I had keeping tabs on her, or about all the times I secretly followed her to her dorm in the evening to make sure she went in it, or all the nights I'd checked in with her dorm monitor during or after my shift was over, to make sure she was still in there. I didn't tell her about my blasted meetings every other day with Kirova that were becoming the bane of my existence.

I didn't tell her about these extra things I had to endure because of her because all of it was pressure she shouldn't have. No one should have to shoulder someone else's' responsibilities while they're growing up. We had enough on us once we turned 18; it was cruel to make her aware of my situation and how important it was that she fix everything this year. Stan and Yuri disagreed with me on this. We'd discussed it a few different times. They said she had to learn how much all our interactions depended on one another if she was going to grow up. And it wasn't that I disagreed with them exactly. It was more that I believed it was wrong to make someone grow up for the wrong reasons. Rose had to decide to make these changes because she saw that they were for the better – for her and for Vasilisa. So I suffered through the conversations about the boys and all the thing she was doing and saying to rile them up, and restrained myself to only a few comments over the last 2 weeks suggesting that these ideas she put out there were not the best way to get through her probation. She always rolled her eyes at me, and said there was nothing in her probation that she couldn't talk to people between classes and that it was just for fun. She also told me the last time I said something that I wouldn't understand fun since I was so old and boring. I'd rolled my own eyes at that and we'd parted that evening on irritable terms.

But today she just looked sad. And seeing it made me feel bad. So finally, halfway through the stretches, I broke our silence.

"How is Vasilisa doing?" I asked her, realizing as the words were coming out that I'd used her friend twice now to break the ice and start a conversation with Rose. I'd have to work on that. It wasn't right to always rely on her constant worry over the princess as a means to strike up some sort of communication between the two of us. Vasilisa didn't deserve that, and Rose didn't either. But I couldn't feel too bad this time since I was sure Vasilisa's feelings were the primary reason for Rose being so down this morning.

Rose sighed. "She's upset with me. We argued yesterday about Cristian again. And now she's not speaking to me. And what's worse is she doesn't even want to. I could handle it if she wanted to and just wasn't because she was making a point. But she doesn't even want to talk to me. She ate breakfast extra fast so she could leave and be in her dorm by the time we get done here."

I looked at Rose, surprised. It hadn't occurred to me how much the Bond could be hurtful until she said that. She was right. It was one thing to think your friend was just temporarily mad and still wanted to talk to you and get past it, and another to be able to feel every minute exactly how much they _didn'_t want to talk to you or see you. I hadn't thought at all about what a burden it must be to constantly feel what another person was feeling, all day, every day, and know everything they felt about you. I'd only thought about it in terms of how useful it had been when the fox had been found and she needed to find Rose, and Rose knew and could find her.

Rose looked up at me, looking sadder even than before. I felt my chest tighten at the sight. I wanted to comfort her. I didn't have a clue how to do it.

"I didn't think about that," I said now, deciding in the absence of anything better to say to just tell her the revelation I'd just had. "It never occurred to me what that must feel like. To always know how another person is feeling, all the time. And about you. That must be hard."

Rose gave me a look of surprise and studied me for a second. She hadn't expected that, for whatever reason. "I don't mind it, really." She said now, voice and posture defensive. "I can take it. I'd rather know everything and be hurt sometimes, than not be able to know what to do when she needs help."

I looked at her closer and knew she really, truly meant it. "You are ok with her hurting you?" I hated to ask it that way, but I needed to dig deeper into this.

"She doesn't mean to! She doesn't know what it's like for me, and I don't want her to. She's my Moroi. If this is the price I pay to keep her safe, to be able to know what I need to do to make sure she's safe and happy, then I'll pay it. I'll pay it over and over again. I don't care." She looked almost angry with me now for asking. Her cheeks were flushed with energy and emotion. I made a passive hand gesture at her and she slowly relaxed, just a bit.

"I didn't mean to imply that she hurts you on purpose. I know she would never do that, to anyone." I said conciliatorily. Rose gave me a slightly less threatening look now.

"She's a good person. Better than me." She said now, looking sad again and not meeting my eyes anymore. My own widened at her words. I was shocked she could say that, that she could mean it.

"Why do you think that?" I was baffled. I needed an explanation for this. Rose just bit her lip and shook her head, avoiding my gaze still. Well, I couldn't allow that. I reached across the gap between us and lifted her chin with the tips of my fingers, making her look at me. She resisted my touch slightly, and even once her head was lifted, her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"Why do you think she is a better person than you?" I asked again, a little force in my question this time. She glanced at me for a fraction of a second, and I withdrew my hand and waited. She looked back at the ground for a bit then drew a shaky breath.

"She cares about things, people, everyone, so much more than me. All these other people that are giving her such a hard time about …everything… I want to go out and punch them all. I want to hurt them all, to make sure they won't ever hurt her again. But Lissa, she tells me not to. She says it's not their fault and it's something that will fade away. And she believes that mostly everyone really is good. That these same people who think nothing of hurting her and laughing about it are really good people deep down. She's just...better than me. She'll grow up to be great, I know it. She's going to be someone everyone loves and she'll go on to do great things. And I'm just a Dhampir. I'm just her bodyguard. And that's fine, because that's all I want. That's all I ever wanted. But I'm not as good a person as she is.

If she knew how hard it is for me when she's upset with me, it would really hurt her. But it's not something she can control, how she feels about people, about me. AndsShe shouldn't have to control it. Lissa hates how there's no privacy between us. She hates how she can't keep anything from me. So I can't talk to her about it. I can't tell her how much it hurts me to feel what she's feeling towards me right now. Because she'll always feel bad for having feelings. For being normal. I can't take that away from her. I can't make her feel guilty for something she can't control. It's not her fault we're Bonded. It's not her fault she can't keep her real feelings from me. And she'll get over it, I know she will. And we'll be fine again…"

I sat there is stunned silence as I listened to her talk, amazed at the extreme selflessness she was showing me. She was right, I felt, with what she was saying. It wasn't fair of her to make Vasilisa feel bad for something she had no control over. It wouldn't be fair of Rose to put that extra burden on her. It was exactly the way I felt about not telling Rose about all the pressure I was under because of her. It wasn't her burden. It wouldn't be fair to dump it on her. But I realized now that that meant Rose didn't have anyone to talk to about this, about how it made her feel. Vasilisa was her person to talk to. If anything came up that she didn't feel she could, or should, share with her, Rose wouldn't have anyone to say it to. And I knew how dangerous that could be. And I waited as Rose trailed off, curious what else she could have to say about this.

"Rose?" I asked now, gently, when the silence stretched on between us. No response. "Rose, what else were you going to say?"

She looked up at me, and again I got the sensation that many words were being exchanged. I still didn't know what they were, but they felt powerful. Ivan hummed happily in my ear as I thought that. I ignored him. I ignored everything, except her. Except what we might or might not be saying to each other right now.

"Nothing, Dimitri." She finally said in a small voice and looked at her shoes again. She cleared her throat and spoke a little louder. "Nothing really. Just that I wish she was never upset with me."

I was pretty sure that wasn't what she'd refrained from saying, but I let it go. I gave what little comfort I could instead.

"I'm not Bonded to her, like you are, but I do know she loves you very much Rose." Rose flicked her eyes to me startled, and hugged her knees, resting her cheek on them. She looked so small and delicate. "Whatever disagreement you two are having now, it won't change what's really between you two. True friendship supersedes any minor obstacle."

'_Good word, there, supersedes. One of mine I think.'_ Ivan smiled, recalling a memory.

"You know for sure?" Rose finally asked after another long silence. "You know for sure that she'll forgive me for whatever I think I have to do to keep her safe, even if she doesn't like it?"

I stared at her now. The intensity of her question had increased the second time, and I got the strange feeling she was asking me more than she was really asking me out loud. I tried to decipher what else she might be looking for from me. What the cause of this extra need that poured out of her at her words was about.

"Does she believe you would never hurt her, just to hurt her?" I finally asked. I searched her face as she thought about my question. She seemed to zone out for a second, and recognizing the look, I figured she was checking in on Vasilisa and what she felt. A few seconds passed and Rose put her attention back on me.

"Yes," she said in a soft whisper.

"Does she trust you? To care for her and keep her safe and to love her?" I asked next, serious and soft with my question.

Another pause while Rose seemed to check on this, but a shorter one. "Yes." She said, more confidently.

"Then she will forgive you for anything you do, as long as she continues to believe those things." I finished, confident now myself in my answer.

'_Well said, my friend.'_ Ivan whispered to me, approval and warmth in his words.

Rose watched me now, and her face was soft, open. She watched me watch her, her cheek on her knee, her ponytail keeping that beautiful hair out of her face. I wished it wasn't. I suddenly wanted that hair free and framing her face. It was the only thing missing from making this a perfect picture.

"Do you have friends, Dimitri?" she asked me now, still in a low quiet voice, but curiosity there for me to hear.

"Why do you ask?" I was startled by this sudden change of direction. Did she think me incapable of having friends?

"I see the way the other Guardians look at you when your around." She said now, and I felt nervous about what might come out of her next.

"And how is that?" I asked her, trying my best to appear relaxed.

"They respect you." She said simply. And I felt a funny fluttering inside me at her words.

'_They do.'_ Ivan agreed.

"Do you?" I asked her instead, redirecting the conversation again. She looked me over, seriously, studying everything that she saw. I felt frozen. Rose so rarely put her full attention on anything. She was usually thinking of several things at once. The power behind it when she turned her full attention on one single thing, or person, was immense.

"Yes." She replied. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. Another long silence descended, but now it was finally our comfortable one, the one I'd missed all morning. I felt my smile grow a bit, and suddenly she blushed and stood up quickly. I joined her, caught off guard by her sudden change in altitude.

"I guess I'm going to breakfast." She said softly. "I'll try to catch up with Lissa later today. Maybe she'll be ready to talk to me by then."

I nodded mutely, not sure what else to say. I felt curiously sad now, like I was mourning the loss of something. I watched her pick up her bag and walk to the door. I didn't move. I just watched her ponytail swish from side to side and tried to figure out this sudden drop in my own happiness. At the door, Rose turned back and looked at me, a strange expression on her face. It probably looked very much like my own.

"I think you would make a really good friend to people Dimitri. Whoever it is, they are lucky to have you." I stared at her now, completely surprised and wondering where that had come from, and before I could fully register it, she had turned again and was gone. The door sounded insanely loud in the empty gym as it closed and latched, echoing around. I winced, and sat down slowly on the nearest bleacher.

'_She's right you know.'_ Ivan told me seriously_. 'I was incredibly lucky to have you as a friend. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.'_

'_I don't know what just happened there,_' I told him honestly, not really sure which part of the conversation I was even talking about. But Ivan knew. He gave me a strange look; much like the one Rose had, and shook his head.

'_I always knew I was the smarter of the two of us.'_

'_Did I help there, at all, do you think? Or did I just…make it strange? Between us?'_ I asked him now, still struggling to get an explanation for this jumble of feelings going on inside me.

'_You helped.'_ He said it with a certainty that I got more relief from than I would have liked to admit_. 'But you've got to go. Kirova's expecting you.'_

I sighed at him and stood up, stretching my arms over my head and arching back, feeling my vertebra pop in a few places. I was stiff this morning, even after our run and the stretching we'd done together. My body was telling me it had been a fair few days since I'd given it a truly good workout, and it was not pleased with me. I didn't have time now, but maybe Stan would be up for a good sparring session after I was done with Rose tonight. Or maybe I would forego any sort of social interaction and just workout by myself. The pylometrics I'd had Rose doing would be good for me to. And some weights. And some heavy bag work again.

The thought of my impending workout tonight settled my unease after my conversation with Rose, and I headed off to Kirova's and while I wasn't in a good mood, considering where I was going, my mood was considerably better than it had been earlier.


	17. Chapter 17

"Belikov." Kirova's voice was curt, like always. I was unsure if this was truly her normal manner at work, or if I got special treatment because I'd 'adopted' Rose, so to speak. Like always, I tried not to let it get to me, determined that _this _time I'd make it through the meeting without getting enraged and having to stamp it down. I hadn't succeeded yet, but I was still trying.

"Headmistress Kirova," I returned, pleasant as could be. Her refusal to use my title lately had not gone unnoticed, but I was nothing if not professional. I stood in front of her desk like always, but today the continued degradation of just using my last name in a professional setting was already making me irritable. So in a show of my old self, my pre-Ivan self, I stood to full attention. I was very tall, even for a Dhampir, and taller than almost all Moroi I'd encountered. I knew my height put many of them, ones older than me or in higher authority than me, at a disadvantage that they didn't like. So years ago I'd adopted a slight slouch, and a tendency to bow my shoulders a bit, to appear smaller and more submissive. It had gone a long way to making more people comfortable with me. But today, I had no desire to appear smaller for Kirova's comfort. I was tall and had broad shoulders and knew how to look imposing. I did so today with a secret sense of satisfaction as I watched her tilt her head back to look me in the eyes, the slight increase in her frown as she realized she was having to look up so far. In my mind, Ivan smiled wryly at me and shook his head at my insolence.

'_Stubborn as always, my old friend,_' he said now, and flashed an old memory at me. It was back in the first year we had met, as freshman in high school. We had been friends for a few months at that point, and something had set me off that day, infuriated me. I was taking my anger out on one of the training dummies after class. Ivan had tracked me down and stood by watching me.

'_Stubborn as always,'_ he'd said, watching me at my work.

'_You wouldn't have it any other way.'_ I'd responded, striking the dummy again, the silver stake digging deep into its rubber body. He stood there silently for a minute, watching my erratic destruction of school property, letting me get the rage out uncontested.

'_No,'_ he'd replied_. 'I truly wouldn't. You're stubbornness is part of what makes you a formidable ally.' _He watched as I yanked the stake out of the dummies chest and some of the filling followed, spiraling to the ground in small, fuzzy clumps. He smiled, the quirky, one sided smile he only ever gave to me_. 'Well, that and you're strength of course.'_

'_Remember that day?_' the now Ivan asked me as the memory faded.

'_I do.'_

'_That was the first time I got to see what you could do. I'd never seen you in action before that.'_

His words came as a surprise to me. I'd been in quite a few fights in the months leading up to that day. Had he really missed all of them?

'_I heard about them all,'_ he answered my silent question_. 'But no, I didn't see any of them. Not until later. But it was something different seeing you move. You must have staked that dummy a thousand times in that hour. And every time was perfect. Well, I thought so then. Looking back, I can see how much more polished your movements are now, how effortless all those thousands and thousands of reps have made you. But back then… you looked like a God to me that day. Or like an avenging angel.'_

'_Stop.'_ I said now, embarrassed.

'_You scared me a little too._' He continued_. 'It was so obvious how out of control you almost were. I kept thinking, what would happen if he let all this loose? How devastating would that be? And I decided I had to help. You needed something that I could give.'_

I was dumbstruck by his words. It had never occurred to me that Ivan could ever have been afraid of me. He never looked it. From the first conversation we'd had, he'd seemed completely in charge, like I was the submissive one. And ironically, I'd responded positively to that. Who would have thought?

'_It was the best thing anyone has ever done for me.'_ I told him now, completely honest. I needed him to understand how much it meant to me, how it had changed my life so completely. How grateful I was to him for it.

'_It was one of the best moments of my life too,'_ he told me frankly_. 'No one ever needed me before. Not really. They just needed my name; my parents just needed a male heir to carry on their agenda. It made me feel invaluable, to know someone like you could really benefit from anything I did or said. It made me feel powerful for the first time ever. The first time I ever felt important.'_

I wished I could give him a rib-breaking hug at his words, like I used to, back when he was alive. But I couldn't. I couldn't even reply to him, to tell him what his words meant to me, because Kirova cut into our moment.

She cleared her throat, and eyed me angrily. I fought back a smile when I noticed that she had stood up. It made my mood a lot better.

"I asked you to report to me every other day about how Ms. Hathaway is behaving. You've done that several times now. Why you are suddenly tongue-tied today? Is she starting to act out?" Her eyes did not match her impatient expression. They glinted. I suppressed the urge to curl my fingers into fists. Barely. I also refrained from pointing out that officially these meetings were set up to tell her about Roses' performance progress on classroom related things, not the sneaky behavior reports they'd rapidly turned into when I had to defend every word she said, every eye roll at Stan.

"No, Headmistress Kirova. Rose seems to be taking the conditions of her stay here quite seriously."

"But I hear she was late to her practice with you two days ago. What excuse did she make for that? And what punishment did you enforce?"

I sighed internally. Kirova had several of the staff under her thumb and their only function now in life it seemed was to find anything, no matter how small, to bring back to her as an offering of Hathaway gossip. I was not sure yet who they were, but if I ever figured it out, I would be having some very serious talks with them.

"I believe she lost track of time, Headmistress. I found her nearby, talking to Vasilisa, and she left with me without an agreement once I told her she was late." This was mostly true. Like all the other white lies I'd started telling in the last few weeks, it omitted a few minor details. Rose hadn't argued with me; she'd argued with Vasilisa, very intently. And then chewed out Christian Ozera. Looking back on it, I was sure this was the moment that Vasilisa was so angry with Rose about that they were not currently on talking terms. But it was true that when I'd told her we needed to go that she'd come along soon enough, and without giving me a hard time. It wasn't much of a white lie, I felt.

"And her punishment was…?" Kirova persisted. I hesitated. She really was frustrating me, especially the last week and a half. But I knew only some of it was really because of these talks about Rose. Quite a lot of it centered around my differing opinion on how to handle misbehaving students. St. Vladimir's employed only one method and this was not effective for everybody. Rose was the best example of this, but by no means was she the only one. I wouldn't be here after the Vasilisa graduated in the spring, and a part of me was relieved at this. But a part of me wanted to stay long enough to gain the authority to make a few changes around here. The whole school would run better. Instead, I met Kirova's eyes and decided to test the level of authority I currently had.

"My understanding was that Rose is my responsibility, is it not, headmistress?" I asked softly. I waited for her to open her mouth, but continued before she could actually say anything. "And you have made it known that her behavior reflects directly on me and my record, correct?" Again I waited for her to open her mouth to speak before plowing on seamlessly before she actually could. "That being the case, her discipline for any and all less than perfect conduct falls to me, at my discretion and personal opinion of what is both acceptable and effective." This time when I paused Kirova closed her mouth and waited. Her eyes were hard and studied me like I was a bug on the floor in her office and she wasn't sure yet what she wanted to use to squish it.

"If you feel there is another Guardian who can do a _more_ acceptable job with her, I will step aside. But if there is_ not_," I paused again – we both knew no one would do it and having agreed to let Rose stay under those terms, if I were to stop, she was honor bound to find someone who would help Rose catch up. Kirova knew what I was hinting at, and looked both pissed and stressed. When I continued, my voice was even lower, tone even softer. I deliberately took what could have been a threat and made it a promise.

"If there is not, then I shall do everything in my power to see that her education is complete by graduation, and I shall handle any of her misconduct as I see fit, without asking for your advice or permission. Your usual methods here at St. Vladimir's have accomplished nothing, as can be clearly seen in her school file. Every year the behavior gets worse. Instead, I will try it the way we do in Serbia. I think it will work better on her than the American way."

I finished, and waited to see what harvest my words would reap me. Kirova was now standing directly in front of my, arms crossed, leaning back against her desk. I made sure my own posture was relaxed, although I remained as straight as could be, and the two of us had a silent showdown. Kirova broke first and pursed her lips.

"And what was the Serbian method you used for her late arrival?" she finally asked and I knew I'd won. No more clearing my methods with her. No more insane spy plots. It truly would be just a progress report from now on, not an interrogation. Mentally, I relaxed.

"We ran," I replied, fighting back a smile. Rose had used quite a large quantity of swear words on me when she found out we'd be running twice that day, and that memory coupled with the look on Kirova's face had me feeling great.

"Ran," she replied, voice blank.

"Laps," I supplied, my lips twitching despite my best effort.

"Both of you? How is that a punishment?" She demanded now. She was genuinely lost and not enjoying the feel of it at all.

"Rose hates to run. And she will run more and faster if I'm running with her. She willingly punishes herself and doesn't even realize it." Kirova's arms dropped to her sides at this.

"You don't even tell her it's because she was late?" she asked in disbelief.

"Rose is a smart girl. She'll figure it out soon enough. Its conditioning she needs anyway. And in Serbia," I added now, the smile finally winning the battle a bit and coming out. "We know that tired children have less energy to act out. So the trouble makers" – here my voice hesitated on the word, not wanting to use it in relation to Rose because it wasn't quite accurate – "we make sure they stay good and tired."

Kirova made a sound like 'huh' and went back to her desk and sat down. I waited while she cleared her throat and shuffled some papers. She picked up a small stack and stapled it, then put it down on a different pile. Then her eyes went back to me.

"Guardian Belikov," my title was now back, I noticed with satisfaction. "I'm putting my trust in you. Our methods have proven ineffective, yes. But if yours also prove to be ineffective.. She can't stay here. Bond r no Bond. She only has to break her probation once." She was looking at me intently now, but this time it felt different. It felt more genuine than any previous look she'd given me. But she wanted to be sure I'd gotten the message nonetheless. I had. As usual, the weight fell back on my shoulders, bringing me down from my temporary high, but I had had good success with Rose so far. We were almost 5 weeks in, and so far she'd been good. Much better even than I'd anticipated.

"I understand headmistress." I said.

I was passing Alberta in the hall a few hours after my meeting with Kirova and I decided to go ahead and ask her about extra hours now rather than wait until later. I was supposed to be going to one of the magic users classrooms for Guarding for the next 4 hours, but I had a few minutes to spare.

"Guardian Petrov," I called and she slowed down before looking around for me. A smile came to her face and she waited for me to catch up to her.

"Belikov, how are you doing today?"

"Fine. I need to talk to you about Rose." Her face fell slightly and she glanced around.

"Is she giving you trouble?" she asked me quietly, leaning close so only I could hear. Her face looked worried.

"Wha.. no. Not really. A little mouthy, but no real trouble." She looked relieved and I continued. "No, I wanted to see you about adding extra hours with her. I know we'd need to revise my schedule again but I think the extra class time is necessary."

Alberta raised an eyebrow at me. "Explain?" I shrugged.

"Right now I have her running laps and doing plyometrics in the morning, and lifting weights in the evening. The entire two hours are already filled with conditioning and strength training. I don't want to stop doing that because she's nowhere near as strong as she needs to be by her senior year and her endurance in atrocious." I felt a bit bad by saying that last part, especially since Rose was steadily improving but Alberta nodded.

"Her other teachers have told me the same."

"But she needs extra training to catch up to her classmates on the skills as well. If I don't cut back on any of the conditioning, then there's no way to add in the combat unless we put in extra class time." I concluded. I had been glancing around the hallway as I spoke, keeping an eye out for any trouble, and now I looked to Alberta for confirmation of my suggestion. Instead she wore an interesting expression, one I'd never seen on her before and couldn't identify. I frowned, studying her face. "Would that be alright? I don't want to be an inconvenience with changing the schedule again."

Alberta watched me for another moment and sighed. "Don't worry Dimitri. The other Guardians will gladly adjust their schedule if it mean you and not them will be working with Rose. This won't leave you with any free time though. None at all. I wish I could lessen your obligations with us to reflect your new ones with Rose but I can't."

"Don't worry about it," I cut in, mirroring her words. "I…have no real desire for free time. I'd rather stay busy. It.. keeps my mind entertained." I stopped myself, feeling like I'd said too much, admitted to a dangerous weakness. The nightmares from the last few nights had been terrible, and I'd given up yesterday and gone to spend the rest of Stan's shift with him rather than try and go back to sleep. He hadn't commented on it, just raised an eyebrow and spent the remaining few hours talking with me as we walked the border. I was suddenly worried what Alberta knew. What she would think. I waited for her to chastise me, but she didn't. She gave me a sad look.

"It's hard to loose someone your close to," she said now, simply. I felt myself sag in relief. She knew, or had guessed what I'd hinted at, and wasn't holding it against me. She continued. "We know it will happen in this life. Many people might try to dictate what others should do to grieve, but what sense is there in that? We all grieve differently, and in our own time. I feel like you're not ready to do that yet. And there are worse ways to go about it than extra hours at work. Alcoholism, for a start."

I raised an eyebrow, not sure if that last sentence had been a joke or not. Alberta had been a Guardian for almost 20 years now. After a while your work persona tended to swallow whatever your real one was, make it disappear. She gave me a small sad smile to reassure me and laid a hand compassionately on my shoulder for a second.

"If you need someone around, when the time comes, you can find me. And I will listen." I found myself speechless at her offer. She had always seemed to go a little above and beyond to be kind to me, but this was a genuine offer. An offer of friendship, not just of co-worker solidarity. I got the impression when I first came here that she didn't offer that very much. She tended to be a workaholic and a loner like me. I nodded my head solemnly to let her know I understood and appreciated her offer, and she smiled and dropped her hand. We both turned to walk to my post. Alberta didn't have to ask; I knew she kept the current schedule memorized, even with all the daily changes and switches that happened. I didn't know how she was able to do it.

After a few seconds of silence she looked over and grinned, a light hearted one this time. "I heard about your update to Kirova."

I groaned quietly. That meant it would already be gossip among the rest of the Guardians, if Alberta knew. Kirova wouldn't have told anyone anything where she backed down and Alberta hadn't been there. Again I felt like the guardians were no better than these high school kids we herded around 9 months out of the year.

"Who heard it?" I asked now. Her smile broadened and I suddenly realized she was quite attractive still with it. The hard life she'd led had definitely left its mark, but this carefree amused smile she wore now made it all seem very far away. But it occurred to me now that in the 9 months I'd worked here, I'd never seen her smile this much. Another sad truth about us.

"Kruz. He was outside the door that goes to the south hallway doing his paperwork. The door was cracked a bit so he overheard."

I hesitated. I hadn't noticed the door being cracked because the coat stand had blocked it from my view where id stood. I made a mental note never to let that happen again. It was a careless mistake, the sort that could be costly once Vasilisa was on the road after graduation. "How many know?"

"By now? All of night shift. It's been nearly 4 hours. But probably day shift won't hear until change out." She seemed genuinely amused by my discomfort. I found myself rolling my eyes, something I rarely allowed myself and she chuckled at me before growing serious and morphing into the Alberta I knew again.

"There were some pretty firm words used." I looked ahead as we walked, uncertain how much trouble I was about to be in. "And the part where you told her in Siberia you guys keep the troublemakers tired? These extra lessons wouldn't have anything to do with that would they?" She was sharp. Very observant and analytical. And right of course. The less free time Rose had and the energy to go with it, the better – for both of us. 8 more months. I recalled Sadowsky filling me in last night after the meeting on the latest suggestion Jesse Zeklos had given to Rose earlier that day in history class. He wasn't letting up his pursuit, although if the words were true, it also wasn't just Rose he was currently pursuing. He'd been caught in a janitor's closet a week ago with a Moroi girl. All I had to do was make it 8 more months with Rose. 8 months just like this last one. I found I didn't have much hope of succeeding in that.

My silence seemed answer enough for Alberta. She nodded approvingly. "I like when people can find multiple reasons to do things. So much more efficient that way. Let's hope for both your sakes it works." With those last words eerily reminiscent of what was going through my own head, she sped off at a fast pace. Duty called. Over her shoulder she called out, "Come by my office later after you're done with Hathaway. We'll find a way to work it out."

I nodded at her retreating back, glad I did not have her job. Rose had me bracing for the near future, but surely anything she could throw at me would be better than the shit Alberta got to deal with on an hourly basis. I turned into the classroom I was stationed in today and glanced to the back to see who my co-workers were. I recognized their faces, but didn't recall their names off hand.

As I walked up to join them, their stoic faces turned into grins, and two of them, the men, clapped me on the shoulder and the back approvingly, while the woman, a friend of Morana's, quietly told me 'way to go' under her breath. I was puzzled at first until I realized they'd heard about my showdown also. Of course they had.

None of us very fond of the way Kirova treated all of us, and a few felt the same as me: that these problem students were problem students because we did not have enough authority to make them _not_ problem students. I realized as I got comfortable in my stance next to – Sergei, I remembered now – and Ross? Yes, Ross, that instead of most Guardians laughing at me like I'd feared, I had instead gone up in esteem in their eyes. I'd stood up for my right to teach and punish my own student as I felt appropriate for her. And in doing so, I'd stood up for Dhampirs around here in general, to the Moroi staff.

It may not have been as obvious here as it was in court and other places, but even here in this isolated little community, Dhampirs were looked down on in a way, by the Moroi. It was a fact of life, one most of us did not agree with although we accepted that we could not change it. But I had. In a very small part of this puzzle in our culture, I had. Because of Rose.

I found myself wondering if I'd ever done that for anyone when I was with Ivan. He had also disagreed with the system our society had, but he was no rebel or charismatic leader. He was a quiet bookworm who typically kept his thoughts to himself unless asked, so it wasn't long after he graduated when people stopped asking him. So then he shared them only with me. And while he would have approved of what I did today, I knew suddenly in my heart that I would not have acted the same way a year ago. Was it just that I was growing up, and getting more confident in my role? Or maybe, it was a touch of Rose rebellion rubbing off on me.

'_Maybe it's a little of all of that,_' Ivan mused now, listening to my thoughts as he always had.

'_I can't believe I did that. I mean, it didn't feel like that much at the time, but looking back now, that was a pretty significant burst of mutiny.'_ I told him now, also thoughtful.

'_I always knew you had it in you.'_ He told me calmly, matter of factly.

'_I never did things like that when I was with you!'_ I exclaimed. I knew he'd already heard me think that, but now I was directing it to him, needing his response.

'_Maybe Rose is better for you than I was._' He responded, face mischievous. I gaped at him and got irritated. I was looking for a serious answer here. And he was giving me jokes. I growled, letting him know exactly how much I didn't appreciate his moment of humor. He smiled at me and gave me the serious response I waited for_. 'I think it's a new stage in your life. When I was in your life, you were working to master a different aspect of yourself. Now, you have. You're the kind of guy that needs to keep challenging himself, to keep getting better. Now, maybe you're just entering a new part of your life. A new thing to master. A new challenge. I always thought you would be someone who would bring about change. I never would. I didn't like talking to people enough.'_

'_Neither do I.'_ I pointed out dryly. He waved the comment away.

'_But you're willing to do it. I wasn't. I got irritated when people refused to see reason and left them to their stupidity. You have more patience than me. And you're bigger. People listen to bigger people faster than they do the smaller ones.' _He smiled at this last part, serious in his way, but also bringing up a long standing old joke between the two of us. I sighed, not entirely satisfied with his conclusions.

I was so consumed with my own thoughts and our private conversation that I was completely oblivious to what was happening in the class when suddenly an explosion of fire brought me back to reality. All four of us jumped forward a bit, ready to tear down there, but Mr. Wahls waved us back, coughing. The students came out of their shocked silence and talked and laughed with a vengeance until he had cleared his throat enough to shush them and restore order to his classroom.

"A very good try Ms. Conta. But not nearly enough control. I daresay your candle is no more good, after that." He sighed. This was a freshman class and things like this happened all the time. He perpetually looked like he was missing his eyebrows, even when they'd grown back in.

"Take your seat and go through your meditation exercises' again. Next?"


	18. Chapter 18

It was later that evening, almost directly after my second practice with Rose, and I was heading to the Dhampir dorm to tell her about her new, extended work schedule. Would she be happy? Probably not I felt. She'd asked me to teach her to fight after the fox incident, but I doubted two extra hours a day of training with me what she expected to get out of it.

She'd bounced into the gym that evening excited, and one look had made me smile and ask her what I already knew. "You and Vasilisa are talking again?"

"Yup." She'd replied, looking about ready to bounce over the moon with happiness.

"Good."

I'd put her through an intense shoulder and leg work out that yesterday would have resulted in many witty and snide comments, and almost certainly a lot of whining. Tonight it got me a face and a lot of chatter about her day. She was that happy I realized, about talking to her friend again. She'd gone off to dinner and I'd gone off to see Alberta.

We'd gone over things for close to a full hour, communicating with a full dozen of the others via their earpieces and her intercom on her desk to work out a new schedule that everyone could live with. It had been much more challenging this time than it had been before. Quite a few people's shifts had changed, but like Alberta had said earlier, everyone was fine with that as long as it resulted in me working with Rose and not them. Several people's shifts had been extended to cover my missing hours that would now be spent with Rose, then a second group of people had to have their day off rotated to cover the gaps left by group A, and then an entirely different group had their days off (and in 2 cases, day and half off) moved to completely different days of the week to fill in for group B. Group A covered group C's days off. My own schedule was a mess. My shifts were everywhere and covered from one end of campus to the other because I had to fill in all the miscellaneous holes in the schedule left by everyone else's' schedule changes.

It had been a mess, and I had a newfound respect for Alberta, above and beyond what I already did, for finding a way to make this happen. About halfway through I'd been ready to give up and agree it was impossible, but she had persisted.

Still though, it was less than ideal. And again, Alberta had been right. I had no free hours. As it was I knew half the hours I should be spending sleeping would actually be spent on my personal training and conditioning, and there was no way I'd give that up for extra sleep. But we'd finally worked it out so everything was covered and fair, leaving both she and I exhausted by the effort. She raised a brow at me and lifted her coffee cup in an ironic toast. We were on duty so no alcohol, although her body language and face said she would have loved some. Coffee was probably a more appropriate liquid to toast my new life with anyway I thought. Id smiled wryly back and clicked my mug with hers.

"Belikov, I can't express how glad I am there's someone else besides me who sees this girl is worth all this trouble." She'd said after downing the rest of her cup, the 5th one since we'd sat down an hour ago. I sipped mine and put it down gently. It was only my second and had sat untouched long enough to become tepid.

"She has talent," I replied, not sure what else I could say. I knew I had a hell of a lot more reasons I was doing this than that but I wasn't sure of all the words to explain them yet. Alberta inclined her head in agreement then closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her thumbs. I felt a pang of sympathy. If my own schedule looked crazy now, it was nothing compared to hers.

"She is that," Alberta said, eyes still closed. "But it's more than that. She feels… important. Her and Vasilisa both. When I first met Rose she was being called into the elementary office for hitting her teacher in the head with her composition book and calling him a fascist bastard."

I smiled, imagining a little Rose doing just that. I'd read the note in her file – not even her first one in there – but it was before I'd met Rose and could hear the words in her own voice. And it was more real still coming from someone who had been there. "How old was she at the time?" I asked curious. I couldn't remember now.

"5." Alberta replied with a smile. "I was in there to pick up the records for the new Jr. high kids to take them over. I wasn't head of the guardians then of course. Just one of the grunts."

"I believe you still are," I observed, smiling at her, thinking of how hard she worked. My comment surprised a real, genuine laugh from her, and I thought again how different she – we – all looked when we were happy. And how that never seemed to be very often. It wasn't a new thought, but it was one that was becoming a more conscious awareness for me lately.

"I believe you're right Dimitri." She opened her eyes now, using my first name. We had accomplished our business for the night and she was letting me know we were on unofficial time for a few minutes. Just two people talking. I relaxed in my chair a little getting comfortable and picked up my mug to sip again. Alberta's eyes sparkled in approval at my change in behavior. Then she went on talking.

"Anyway, one of the Guardians for the elementary – I forget his name now – opens the door without knocking and walks in, dragging this kid behind him. She was yelling at him something fierce, and he literally had to drag her – her feet were dead on the ground behind her. And she refused to stand up on her own when the principle asked. After the Guardian let her go the laid on the floor where we'd left her and crossed her arms and started singing the alphabet song, very loudly, every time the principle or the Guardian would speak. And she'd stop when they stopped. And start up again when they did."

Alberta was laughing now as she recalled this and I felt warm and happy being drawn into her memory like a warm blanket. I could see all this playing out like a movie.

"And she was in this horrible, bright red dress with puffed sleeve that came from some clothes someone had donated to the young kids here – you know, the ones whose parents done have much money left over after they pay tuition. Well, Janine was only 25 at the time. She was making a name for herself but it was just her still you know. And Rose stayed here year round, not just during the school year. Summer and Christmas breaks as well. That costs extra."

I sobered a bit at those words. I had known what the realities of a single Dhampir mothers finances were; I grew up with one and around many others so I knew first hand. But I had trouble putting the Janine of this story – who didn't even take Rose with her when she was on leave from her duties – with the one I'd met who so proudly showed me the school pictures in her wallet when we were working together on the same operation a couple years ago. And then, I suddenly realized after doing the math quickly in my head, that the pictures Janine had shown me then must have been 5 years out of date. Two years ago Rose would have been 15. The girl in the school pictures in Janine's wallet had been a child. One she was even missing some teeth.

"How lonely she must have been…" I said softly before realizing I wasn't thinking it, but saying it out loud. Alberta was watching me again, the same curious expression as earlier and still I couldn't place it, what thoughts it conveyed. She sighed softly at my words.

"Yes," she finally answered. "She was a very lonely little girl. The breaks were very hard on her. Later on, the Dragomir's started taking her with them, and that helped a lot. But then the accident… but of course that first Christmas before they ran away, they were both here. So that helped some I think."

"How do you know all this?" I asked her now. "You said you weren't assigned to the elementary at the time?" Alberta shook her head and got up to refill her coffee. She must have had several more hours to go tonight.

"Well, to finish the story, Rose is lying on the office floor and singing the alphabet song every time someone speaks. And not just starting over. She'd pick up right where she left off, and each time was louder because they would try to talk over her.

"So after about 5 minutes of this the Principal asks the Guardian who brought her to go get the teacher to find out what happened. While the Guardian is gone Rose pulls out a piece of bubble gum from the pocket of that horrible dress and starts chewing and blowing bubbles."

"I imagine this was also against the rules?" I found myself fascinated now. This story was so much better than the few lines in the file.

"Of course. But we didn't say anything." Alberta winked as she said this. "We were so damn tired of that song by then." I chuckled and she went on. "Right before the teacher came back Rose sits up, pulls the gum out of her mouth and looks straight at the principal. 'She wanted us to write our names and we did. _Rose_ and _Lissa_. She said those weren't our real names and that we had to write our "real" names 20 times before we could leave! I _did_ write my real name! I'm _Rose_. So I hit her with a book.' And then she lays back down and pops the gum back in her mouth. And we both think that's it and then hear her mutter under her breath. And can you guess what she said?" Alberta looked at me, daring me to guess. I shook my head.

"I can't imagine." Alberta grinned at me.

"She congratulated herself on her throw. 'Good job Rose. You hit her when she was moving. Thanks Rose. Don't mention it.'" Alberta burst out laughing at this part, clearly her favorite part of the memory and I forced myself to smile and chuckle a little bit too, pretending to enjoy it. But really my heart was breaking. A kid so lonely she had to praise herself for her achievement because no one else would. But at the same time I felt proud of her. She felt like she'd done the assignment right and didn't think she should be punished for it. Again I felt my mounting frustration with the school and how it handled its 'problem' students. And I found myself proud of her for her achievement with the book. It _was_ very hard to hit a moving target and books were not very aerodynamic. From a Guardians point of view, it showed great potential skill.

I suddenly realized Alberta was no longer laughing and was watching me with that damn weird expression again. I'd zoned out on her. Forcing a smile I chose to act like I hadn't and she let me.

"So, how do you know about the rest of her elementary life?"

"When I heard what she said, I knew she was special. So I hung around that side of campus whenever I could. And then when I saw her and Vasilisa together, I knew. It hit me so hard, right here." Alberta pointed to her heart. "These two girls are going to change our world. A girl with Roses' spunk, so close to the last Dragomir? Well, now she is; at the time there were 4 of them." She paused now, face pained at the memory. I'd seen one picture of the car after the wreck and it had been horrible. "And now they have this Bond? Can you imagine what those two will do?" Alberta asked me now, voice soft but gaze fierce and burning into me.

"You have to teach her the control she needs, Dimitri. And protect Vasilisa with your life. Those two need each other to be their best – they always have. And when you were assigned here, to the Princess, well." I swallowed hard, absorbing all of Alberta's' intensity. "I knew you were meant for them. To get them ready."

I struggled for a moment to find my voice and then for something to say.

"I'll do my best Guardian Petrov." I meant it. But she'd unnerved me. I believed there were people who could see these sorts of things – glimpses of the future or the present far aay from them. My grandmother was one. So I supposed that meant I believed in fate or destiny or what-have-you. But I didn't know _what_ I believed about it. Or how permanent I thought the future was. And Rose was a long way from what Alberta was describing. Vasilisa was too.

"I know you will," Alberta said quietly now, mostly to herself. "I'm counting on it."

Several moments of silence passed between us, feeling awkward on my part. She didn't seem to notice time was even passing. The she looked up and her normal Guardian work face was on. I found myself relieved.

"Well, you better get some sleep. Your day starts even earlier tomorrow than before."

We said our formal goodbyes and I'd started to go to my room. She was right about how early my days would start now, and my sleeping cycle was going to be completely different now with the schedule changes. I'd need to carve out a new routine with my sleep, and my training. But suddenly, I wanted to see Rose. I wanted to tell her about the new training myself, instead of letting someone else do it. I wanted to see her face when I told her we were going to 'move onto something with a bit more hitting'.

I checked my watch. It was just before curfew; she would still be up. I suddenly turned in the direction of the Moroi dorm and was about to walk in when a janitor passed me on the way out. He stopped and called to me uncertainly.

"You're Belikov, right? Hathways trainer?"

I froze and turned to face him, my previous excitement at seeing Rose, at talking to her, fleeing and replacing it with a bucket of ice in my gut. "I am." I studied him and he looked uncomfortable.

"I just overheard her tell Jesse Zeklos to meet her in the old lounge on the 4th floor. It didn't look like it was for homework." He watched me for a second and paled. I knew what I probably looked like. I felt 10 times angrier on the inside. Everything in me was burning with an ice cold rage. Why now? What had happened? She'd been doing so well, and then earlier today.. Hadn't we bonded? Hadn't we talked about respect? Hadn't she just been miserable over her and Vasilisa not talking? And now they were? Why was she not talking to her friend then? How could she do this to us? And Jesse fucking Zeklos. I was shaking I realized now. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so angry. The poor janitor looked faintly sick.

"Thank you. For telling me. I will handle it." I told him sharply, and spun around to find them. I might just have to kill her.

'_Uh oh.'_ Ivan said in a small voice_. 'I've seen you like this before. Please, Dimitri, don't… don't do anything we'll regret in the morning. She might not be doing what it seems like.'_

'_Shut up.'_ I growled at him. The rage was burning even hotter and I felt like a supernova, ready to explode_. 'I was stupid to think she'd change. I was stupid to let my guard down. I was stupid.'_

Ivan looked uncertainly at me. I saw the faces of the Dhampir students I passed, and how all of them jumped out of my way. I saw the Guardian on dorm duty take one look at me and close her mouth before her greeting could escape. I strode over to her, covering the distance between us in less than a second. She jumped and flinched as my voice rumbled deep in my chest.

"Where is the fourth floor lounge?" I growled at her, my hands gripping the desk she sat at. My knuckles creaked with the exertion. This rage was massive and threatening to take me over. I hadn't felt like this since.. well, since that day I'd found out the truth. Since the day I'd realized just how much of a fool I'd been. It would seem I'd been one again.

'_Easy there, old friend. Let's not jump to conclusions.'_ Ivan tried again. I didn't even respond to him this time.

The Guardian pointed a shaky finger to the door on the left hallway. "Up those stairs, 2nd door on the right. Its empty though. Hasn't been used in years. There's been no need. There's so few of us here now."

"Thank you." I barked the word like a curse and pushed off the desk, all but flying to the doorway and the stairs she'd indicated. When I got my hands on that kid…

'_Which one?'_ Ivan asked me now. He was nothing if not persistent. A quality I'd loved in life, but right now it was pissing me off.

'_Zeklos. Or Hathaway. Whichever one I see first.'_ I thundered at him. My vision had narrowed from the whole room to just the small slice of hallway right in front of me as I walked up to the door. I made sure my steps were whisper soft now. I didn't want to give them the slightest heads up. They were in for the surprise of their life. I didn't see how sadly Ivan looked at me, or register how he was shaking with the effort of trying to calm me. He had to tell me about that later. Right now all I could see was the door knob, and all I could hear was heavy breathing and whispered words.

I touched my ear to the door to hear. I needed to know how far this had gotten before I could get here.

"You want to! I can see it." Zeklos sounded thrilled and in awe. I shook with renewed rage at the ideas that tone in his voice put in my head.

"No, I don't." Rose said hurriedly, but I could hear the excitement in her voice that she was trying to hide.

"You've done it before. I can tell." He was more insistent sounding now and I heard the sound of bodies shuffling on furniture.

"No. I told you, I'm not like that." I started to take a calming breath. As bad as this was sounding, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. She was putting on the breaks. And I'd help her do that. Then I'd scare the shit out of Zeklos and tell her about her new practices and everything would go back to normal. I had almost gotten the raging storm under control when her next words broke me.

"But if you're looking for something to do with your mouth, I have a few ideas."

My heart stopped. I knew what that meant. I knew instantly what Jesse had been asking, and saying he knew she'd done before and it wasn't sex. He wanted to bite her. He wanted to bite her while doing other things. Bloodwhore things. I felt a ringing in my ears, louder than any sound they'd ever heard in real life. My whole body shook with renewed rage and in front of me I no longer saw the door. I wasn't in the Dhampir dorm.

I was home and I was 8 years old, and Mama was crying on the floor, her ankle twisted in an unnatural direction and I was hiding behind the couch. Dad was yelling at her to shut up, calling her all sorts of things. Mama was trying her best not to cry loudly, but the sobs and the tears wouldn't stop. She was in pain. He had put her in pain and he didn't care. Her eyes met mine as I peeked out from behind the back of the couch and her own tried frantically to tell me to hide. I shook my head and started to come out, and she cried out in panic. She didn't want me to be seen by him in the mood he was in.

Dad lost it as she cried out, and grabbed her by the arm and yanked her up, causing her to scream out from the pain, her ankle unable to support her, and he held her roughly. "I said shut up little whore. But you're too stupid to listen. I guess I'll have to make you. It's what I came for anyway." And he'd snarled at her before biting down on her neck more viciously than he ever had before. In a second, Mama went from being dead white with pain and screaming out to hanging as dead weight in his grip, that stupid, loopy grin all feeders get on their face when the endorphins first kick in. He drank for so long; I thought he'd kill her right in front of me. Then he dropped her on the floor in front of him and staggered towards the door, still drunk. He stopped when he saw me and gave me the most hateful glare I'd ever seen from anyone, even him.

"Better fix her up little boy. I'll be back for her in a few weeks. I want my little bloodwhore all patched up for me by then." I'd opened my mouth to say the dirtiest words I knew at that age and balled up my fists to try and fight, but he'd laughed and shoved me to the floor.

"Don't be a stupid whore-child. You're nowhere near big or strong enough to take me on." He'd laughed that ugly drunken laugh of his as my butt had hit the floor and tears sprung to my eyes. He was right. I was too little. Too weak. I couldn't stop him. I didn't even know what to do to help mama. He saw the look on my face that gave away all my thoughts. He laughed again and kicked me before walking to the door. I looked over at Mama, lying on the floor, still smiling happily because of the drugs of his bite. I saw the tearing on her neck. Not just two holes from his teeth and the purple bruising this time, but two gaping rips in her flesh, and her blood pouring out, staining her nice dress. She'd worn one of her nicest ones today since she knew he was coming over. And now it was ruined. But it was the twisted ankle and the doped up smile that got me. That the two could exist in the same body.

I stood up and ran to the hallway and yelled at him right as he opened the door to stumble out.

"Dad!" He turned and looked at me, ready to laugh again at me. But I was angry, too angry to be cared anymore. "I'm too small now. But I'll grow. One day, when I'm big and strong enough, I'm going to hurt you like you hurt her. Not just like you did today. I'm going to hurt you enough for all of them."

He'd looked so shocked at my words, at my standing up to him when none of us had. I gave him a stony look. I knew as I spoke that it was true. One day he'd pay for this, and it would be by my hand. I couldn't wait. He paused for a second and then shook his head, a small smile on his lips, but now it was different. I didn't recognize it at the time for what it was, but now I knew. Self-deprecation.

"Maybe you will, boy. But I've got a lot of years left before you get there."

"I'll wait." I'd told him. He'd laughed again, the strange smile gone, the alcohol back in full control again.

"I can't wait." He sneered, and stumbled off.

'_oh dear.'_ Ivan said now. The memory had lasted a split second. It was one I knew very well. I didn't need to drag it out to remember all the painfully bright details. It passed in a flash and seeing it and hearing what Jesse was saying, what he was attempting to do to Rose, I couldn't take anymore. Like I had that day I'd promised my dad, when I'd been big and strong enough to take him, to hurt him like he'd hurt my mother, everything snapped. I was beyond any reasoning. I slammed the door open with one kick, hearing the wood break around the lock, hearing the lock fly off and hit the wall and then floor somewhere. As I did so I heard her voice again.

"Stop. I told you, I'm not like that."

But they never stopped just because you told them to, these Moroi men with the Dhampir women. You could tell them no all day long, but they would do it anyway. And once they bit, you didn't say no anymore. It was how they justified it. How they were able to say you wanted it. Jesse would hurt, in a way even my dad hadn't when I'd gotten through with him.

And I flew into the room and saw what I'd expected to see. Rose lay under him on the couch, looking unsure about her situation, Jesse on top of her. Rose with her shirt off. His fangs out.

The noise of the door crashing against the wall had both of them sitting up and staring at me in disbelief. My hand was gripping his shirt front before I even told it what to do, and his feet were dangling off the floor. Ivan was yelling things in my head, crazy things like; put him down, and what do you think you're doing, and you can't give in to this. But in my head, Jesse was already dead. There was nothing else you could do with his kind. They never stopped. They were never sorry.

But as I felt the madness take over again, welcomed the feel of it even, something pulled me back. Pulled me back from that dark hole I was halfway down already. It wasn't Ivan screaming and pleading with me. It wasn't Jesse who was stammering God only knows what. It was the screech in that female voice I knew so well. The one that I'd come over here to hear.

And I knew as soon as she spoke it had been only an excuse. I had come over here to tell her… something… but it was only an excuse. I'd come over because I wanted to hear her speak. I wanted to hear that voice. And it brought me back to the realm of sanity, if still one of burning, uncontrollable anger.

"Dimitri!"


	19. Chapter 19

_The noise of the door crashing against the wall had both of them sitting up and staring at me in disbelief. My hand was gripping his shirt front before I even told it what to do, and his feet were dangling off the floor. Ivan was yelling things in my head, crazy things like; put him down, and what do you think you're doing, and you can't give in to this. But in my head, Jesse was already dead. There was nothing else you could do with his kind. They never stopped. They were never sorry. _

_But as I felt the madness take over again, welcomed the feel of it even, something pulled me back. Pulled me back from that dark hole I was halfway down already. It wasn't Ivan screaming and pleading with me. It wasn't Jesse who was stammering God only knows what. It was the screech in that female voice I knew so well. The one that I'd come over here to hear. _

_And I knew as soon as she spoke it had been only an excuse. I had come over here to tell her… something… but it was only an excuse. I'd come over because I wanted to hear her speak. I wanted to hear that voice. And it brought me back to the realm of sanity, if still one of burning, uncontrollable anger. _

"_Dimitri!"_

I glanced at her; saw her cowering at the far end of the couch against the arm. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and was gripping the cushions. She looked afraid. Of me? But Jesse was trembling in my hold and I had to take care of him first before I could figure out what to do with her. Ivan opened his mouth to warn me off harming him again, but I didn't need it now. The look of fear on her face and her voice had been enough to take some of the wind out of my sails. I knew I wouldn't lose it on him like I had been about to before. Also the fact that she appeared to be unhurt. No blood, no marks. Lucky him.

Instead I nailed him to the floor with the full force of my anger in my gaze and shook him a little bit. "What's your name?" I barked out, like I didn't already know. I'd heard his name so much these last few weeks I was sick of it.

"J-Jesse Sir. Jesse Zeklos, sir." He stammered his answer, blood draining from his face as he stared at me. He was using manners now, but it did nothing to cool my rage. He was just like my father. He'd been polite also once I'd shown him I could hurt him now more than he could hurt me. It was a false front, these manners, the "sir" he was stuttering on. But at least it showed he wasn't completely stupid.

"Mr. Zeklos, do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?" no, no he did not. It was taking every ounce of control I'd developed to be so reserved right now but Rose and Ivan were watching, waiting to see what I would do. My past and my present. I couldn't disappoint them.

"No sir."

"Do you know the rules about male and female interaction around here?" Yes he did. They all did.

"Yes sir."

"Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If I ever see you like this again –" here I pointed at Rose, still cowering, still half naked on the couch, and without looking at her directly my peripheral caught her flinch. I turned my intensity dial up several more notches, shaking him slightly; making sure my next words would be driven home and not quickly brushed off or forgotten. _"I_ will be the one to punish you. And it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?" I wondered if he really did. I wondered if he could guess at the thoughts that were behind my words as I said that. Ivan held his breath. Rose remained frozen. Jesse swallowed very hard, eyes popping out in fright. I saw on his face he was indeed imagining all the man painful things I could and would do to him to make good on my promise. Excellent. His imagination had nothing on mine though. He finally got tongue untied.

"Yes sir!"

Suddenly as I looked him over I realized I couldn't stand touching him any longer. His wide blue eyes and facial structure were all Zeklos. He reminded me painfully of Ivan just then. I dropped his heels on the ground from where I'd held him up on his toes and barely resisted the urge to shove him.

"Then _go_." I watched as he stumbled and nearly fell in his haste to turn around and then dashed out without a single glance back to make sure Rose was ok. That last slight on her was another black mark against him in my book. He couldn't even be bothered to spare her a glance on his exist, much less stand up for her. More proof of his true character, or lack of it.

My stomach knotted up as I realized I needed to turn around and face Rose now. I dreaded doing so. This changed things between us. I didn't know how I could look at her the same. I didn't want to know what she would say in her defense. And I was terrified that this was only the start of more, similar behavior.

'Face her,' Ivan said gently, coaxingly. 'It won't be as bad as you think.' I wished I could believe him. But it was not in my nature to avoid confrontation. I'd learned long time ago you had to deal with things head on, or they got worse. I turned around slowly, not sure what I would see.

It was almost a letdown then when I saw she hadn't moved an inch. Her eyes followed me as I walked up to her, still looking terrified. Her eyes were wide, her mouth dropped open. Her shirt still off. I felt like I'd failed, looking at her. In an instant it was like I'd caught Viktoria sneaking out and I felt such overwhelming disappointment in her. I'd really started to expect better. She'd shown me so much better. And now this.

But she wasn't Viktoria. And she wasn't – the other girl. And the room was still shaking and my ears were still filled with the sound of rushing water which I knew was really the sound of my own blood being pumped through my veins too fast and my own adrenaline heightening my senses so I could hear it. I had to calm down. I had to put the monster back in the box. I had to remember who I was, where I was, when I was. So I latched onto Rose as my guiding light, beckoning me back to the here and now. Jesse had unnerved me. I hadn't realized straight away in my maddened state just how much he and Ivan had looked alike, especially when Ivan was that age. The Zeklos genes had been strong in both of them. That and his words, what he had been pressuring Rose to do, it all brought me back and buried with my past. But Rose wasn't back then. She wasn't a part of my old life. She was only now.

So I looked her over, taking in every inch of her, top to toe, grounding myself in reality, in the present. Her eyes glued to me. Her cheeks flushed from what had gone on before I'd gotten there. Her hair was down now and it framed her face and her chest. It was perfect. A perfect picture. She still had her shirt off and suddenly I could see she very much had the Dhampir body type with larger breasts, a small waist and wider hips. Nothing like the slim, fragile build of the Moroi women. Her skin had a faint tan line from the tank tops she'd worn while running until this last week when it finally got too cold. She wore jeans right now, something I hadn't seen her in since the night we'd picked them up. Her feet were bare. I was amazed now by how small they were, toes barely peeking out of the bottom of her pants.

And then, it was like the world shifted, like suddenly someone had given me glasses I didn't know I needed and suddenly everything was in focus for the first time. Rose was beautiful. It hit me hard in a way it hadn't before, even though I'd thought her attractive the first night I'd observed her. I looked her over again, but differently this time. I tried to think if I'd ever seen a girl as attractive as she looked to me right now. I couldn't. I felt Ivan listening to my thoughts and not speaking. I was grateful for his silence. My gaze slowly worked its way back up to her face and I suddenly longed to touch it. I craved it.

She now longer looked terrified of me. In fact, she was staring me up and down as well. And for the about the tenth time tonight I felt like I'd run unexpectedly into a brick wall. She was checking me out. Oh. God. My brain stammered to a halt at the realization. There were no words to describe how bad this was.

Her face colored now as I continued to stare at her. Trying to sound brave she shot out what sounded like the first words to pop into her head. "See something you like?"

It was like a bucket of ice water. I certainly did see something I liked, very much. My underage student. And now I felt as much of an animal as Jesse was. Worse. I forced the look of shock I felt on my face away and closed it off. I glared at her. I realized quite suddenly that Jesse had seen her like this. Dozens of these boys had. And she had no shame in it. It made me feel faintly sick.

"Get dressed." I spit the words at her, sounding much harsher and colder than I'd meant to. But I was staring at her and imaging all the others who had seen this, and to her it was nothing. It was nothing when it should have been everything. She jumped up at my harsh tone and scrambled to find her shirt and put it on. When she turned around to look for it I saw her back and against my will my eyes traced the line of her spine, and landed on the dimples of her lower back. Suddenly she bent down and snatched her shirt up off the ground and now I was looking straight at her behind in those tight jeans with rips in them. I ripped my eyes away and felt disgusted with myself.

She turned around once she was decent and fell back on the seat of the couch, looking shaky. A small cloud of dust rose up from it as she sat, further angering me. A dusty couch in a dusty room? Did she have no sense of self-worth?

"How'd you find me anyway? You following me to make sure I don't run away again?"

I lost it at that. I leaned down suddenly, putting a hand on the back of the couch on either side her. She fell back against the back as I leaned in, bringing our faces only a foot away from each other.

"Be quiet." I snapped, ready to launch into lecture mode. I wanted to yell and shake her too, but I had to do better. I had to be better if I wanted her to do better. I had to lead by example. So I grit my teeth and let my words do the work instead. "A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you have any idea how stupid this was?"

"You mean because of the whole probation thing, right?" she asked it lightly, like it was nothing. I nearly ripped my hair out then and there. She couldn't really be this unaware, or this selfish, right? She had to be messing with me.

'_Maybe. But remember she doesn't have your background Dimitri.'_ Ivan interjected now.

"Not just that." I snapped at her. "I'm talking about the stupidity of getting into _that_ kind of situation in the first place." We were nose to nose now, trading blows in the battle of the century, or so it felt like. She ground her teeth, resisting anyone telling her what to do. Where on earth did she get this stubbornness from? Janine wasn't like this. It must be from her father. I'd like to give him a piece of my mind too.

"I get in _that_ kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's _n_ot a big deal."

What the fuck? Not a big deal? Comrade?

"Don't call me that. You don't even know what you are talking about."

"Sure I do. I had to do a report on Russia and R.S.S.R. last year."

I resisted the urge to hit my head on something. "_U_.S.S.R." How was I letting her get us so off topic? "And it is a big deal for a Moroi to be with a Dhampir girl. They like to brag." I thought about the bragging that had gone around town when Karolina had lost her virginity to one back home. I'd only ben 11 – barely old enough to think to ask Mama what that meant. The whispers and snickers and lewd jokes had followed her the rest of the year. I'd never seen Mama so angry with any of us. And Yeva. I was truly surprised each morning when I came down for breakfast and she was still alive to sit at the dining table with us. If anything the bragging and rumors were worse in the states.

"So?" Rose looked icily at me, daring me with her eyes. My own bugged out in shock.

"_So?"_ who was this girl? This wasn't my Rose. This Rose disgusted me. I wanted to slap her. But no. I had a job here. I had a duty. I had to repel this ugly Rose and find a way to dig the one I'd been working with back out. Both our futures depended on my doing so. If that janitor was one of Kirova's informants, it might already be too late.

"So don't you have any respect? Think about Lissa. You make yourself look cheap. You live down to what a lot of people already think about Dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me." I all but spat the words at her. I was trying so hard to reign it all in, to get my control back, but Alberta had been right. Rose pushed buttons with people, seemingly for no reason other than to get a reaction from then. Rose, the real Rose, was smarter than what this stranger who looked like her was saying to me. A part of me wanted to be harsh, to say things to hurt her right back. But more so, if anything would wake her up, would get her to see what she was doing, what she had almost thrown away, it would be Vasilisa. Or so I thought.

"Oh. I see. Is that what this is about? You big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin your reputation?"

I imagined choking her for a second, I was that vexed. In my head my hands were on her throat – not enough to damage, just to hurt, and Ivan was restraining me, pulling them off. A second passed, and so did the desire. She had no idea, none, just how completely she could ruin me professionally, but beyond that, the thought was ludicrous. I stood up now and looked down on her, letting all my disappointment at her behavior show on my face.

"My reputation is already made, Rose. I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen." I put my mask back on, blank, no emotion. I didn't know what else to say to her. Hopefully later on when she was calm, some of this would sink in. I had to hope. I held my hand out to the door, signaling her to exit. I tried to end this on a calm note, to swallow the rest of anger and its accompanying words, but they came out anyway. Probably because I was torn about keeping them in. Part of me wanted to say it. I wanted to show her what perception this sort of behavior gave people about her. Part of me hated myself for saying it.

"Now get back to your room. If you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

Rose gaped at me now, shocked. "Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?" She asked in disbelief.

"I hear the stories you guys tell. I hear stories about you." I hated myself for continuing with this, but it was the first thing that had gotten a real reaction from her. The first thing I'd said that seemed like it might, just might be getting through that thick skull of hers. I had to keep going. She had to change this behavior. Neither of us could afford another mess up like tonight.

She surprised me though. In an instant she went from being stiff and angry and defensive, to suddenly blinking back tears. I stared at her now. I had sisters, but this was a fast mood swing, even for a woman. I felt lower than dirt. Maybe I'd gone too far here.

'_Ivan?'_

'_Yes?'_ he asked, being deliberately obtuse. He was letting me know he wasn't very pleased with me right now.

'_Help.'_

He sighed_. 'Talk to her. I think she's ready to listen now. Try not yelling at her.'_ Idiot. It was a silent add on, he didn't say it out loud, but we both knew he'd thought it.

"Why is it so wrong to…I don't know. Have fun? I'm 17 you know. I should be able to enjoy it." She wouldn't look at me now, and was picking at the ends of her shirt. I saw one tear succeed in its escape but it was roughly shoved away before it made its way more than an inch from her eye. She sucked in air roughly, trying to pull herself together. I sighed and knelt on the floor in front of her so she wouldn't have to hurt her neck looking at me.

"You're 17, and in less than a year, someone's life and death will be in your hands." I said it gently, but left no room for argument. This was the reality of our lives. There was no room for error, no real room for youth. She looked at me now, and I saw her eyes and nose were red. I wanted to pull her in and hold her while I talked, but I couldn't do that. Instead I kept talking, still soft and gentle. "If you were human or a Moroi, you could have fun. You could do things other girls could."

"But you're saying I can't." she watched me, really listening now I knew, but looked sad at what she was hearing. That made two of us.

'_Tell her about me._' Ivan whispered_. 'Tell her about why you're such a perfectionist. Let her understand why you are the way you are.'_

"When I was 14," I told her now, looking back into the past as I talked, "I met Ivan Zeklos. We weren't like you and Lissa, but we became friends. Close friends. And when we graduated, he requested me as his Guardian." I looked at her now as I said what came next. "I was top student in my school. I paid attention to everything in class, I never missed. But it wasn't enough, in the end. And that's how it is in this life. One slip, one distraction…" I swallowed the burning lump in my throat that wouldn't turn into any more tears about this, but hurt just as much. I sighed. I looked at her again. "One mistake, and it's too late."

I watched her process this, and I saw tears come to her eyes again. I knew she was imaging loosing Vasilisa like I'd lost Ivan. I watched her think through what I'd said, and hoped she was realizing why this situation with the boys couldn't be allowed to happen again. She had to graduate if she wanted to keep Vasilisa safe. She couldn't do that If she broke probation for cheap thrills. Instead she surprised me. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

"Jesse's a Zeklos," she said slowly, and her eyes widened as she looked at me.

"I know."

'_Not really. He just wears the name.'_

"Does it bother you? Does he remind you of Ivan?" She asked it tentatively, studying me, looking for something. I blinked at her. How had she guessed? I hadn't put it together like that until the last second.

'_I kept saying she was smart. You need to start giving her the benefit of the doubt.'_

I ignored him again. She was getting us off topic once more. She was really good at it I noticed. "It doesn't matter how I feel." I told her, trying to get her back to what we were really talking about. "It doesn't matter how any of us feel."

"But it does bother you." She said now with confidence. She blinked at me, at something she saw. "You hurt. Every day. Don't you? You miss him."

I stared more forcefully at her now. I knew for a fact that I kept myself very private. Very few people knew I was struggling at all with Ivan's death, and they saw me every day at work. Stan. Alberta. That was it. I didn't know what to think about her saying this. I did know I wasn't comfortable with continuing it. I put my guardian face back on. Serious. Calm.

"It doesn't matter how I feel." I repeated, more forcefully this time. "_They _come first. Protecting them."

'_You know how I feel about that.'_ Ivan was determined not to let me ignore him tonight.

'_It doesn't matter.'_

"_According to you it does matter. I'm the Moroi. If I don't like that mantra, it matters more than the fact that you don't.'_

'_You stopped being a Moroi when you died, Ivan. We tried it your way. You paid for it with your life. Now we do it mine.'_

Rose was nodding slowly. She'd missed the conversation of course. "Yeah, they do.

A long silence fell between us, and once more it was our usual comfortable one. Finally Ivan muttered. _'Didn't you come here to tell her something, originally? Maybe you should go ahead and do that so we can all go to sleep.'_

"Rose." She looked at me, curious as my more business like tone. "You told me you want to fight, to really fight. Is that still true?" I needed to know. I had to be sure before I put in this extra time and effort. I had to know which Rose would continue to be in charge, the one I'd been getting to know, or the one I saw tonight.

"Yes. Absolutely." She answered with confidence, with certainty. No hesitation. She sounded just like Janine right then, except without the accent. It made me feel a lot better.

"Rose… I can teach you, but I have to believe you're dedicated. Really dedicated. I can't help you if you are going to be distracted by things like this." I waved around the room, and watched a blush come to her face. She looked shame faced at me now. "Can I trust you?" I asked the last gently again. She looked ready to cry again. She nodded quickly.

"Yes. Yes I promise."

"All right. I'll teach you, but I need you strong. I know you hate the running, but it really is necessary. You have no idea what Strigoi are like. The school tries to prepare you, but until you've seen how strong they are, how fast… well, you can't even imagine. So I can't stop the running, or the strength training, or the ploymetrics. If you want to learn more about fighting, we need to add more training times. It'll take up all of your free time you have left. You won't have much left over even for homework, and you still have to pass all your classes in order to graduate, or all this is for nothing anyway. You'll be tired, a lot. And sick of seeing me and having me tell you what to do. But you have to do it all. You have to trust me, and that I know what you need to do."

I waited now, letting my word sink in, letting the picture of the rest of her senior year sink in. No fun, just work. Just classes and homework and me telling her to do things a million times. She slowly nodded. She'd decided.

"It doesn't matter. If you tell me to do it, I'll so it." We stared at each other now, both of us looking to see if the other was as serious about our new plan as the other was. As I looked her over I knew I was looking at the real Rose. The other one would probably try to come out and play, because she was still a kid after all. But this one, the one talking to me right now, was the dominant one. And that's all I needed to know. I only needed to make sure of that. Now that I was, we could find a way to make this work.

I gave a quick nod. "We'll start tomorrow. Come to the gym an hour earlier."

Before I could move to stand up Rose threw her arms around my neck in a tight hug. I froze. "Thank you." She whispered to me, and her breath was warm on my neck and ear. My whole body burned where she touched it. She let go before I could make my arms move to hug her back, although I wasn't sure if I would have anyway.

I stood up and so did she. I smiled. She smiled. "Go to bed now Rose. You'll need it." We silently said goodbye with our eyes and I followed her out of the room and into her hallway. I watched her go into her room without another look back, and then I left. Tomorrow the real fun would start.


End file.
